My due date for the blighted ovum came and went over the weekend.
I spent the day sort of thinking about it and then working around the house. We
moved this weekend, so I was distracted and excited about that. But that didn’t
stop me from feeling sad or wondering what I would be doing if we had that
baby. I know I wouldn’t have this great new house, but I’d rather be in a small
house and have that baby.
This was the first time I passed a due date without being
pregnant. I started spotting on Sunday morning (CD 22 – I think it was due to
all the moving and carrying stuff around). Thanks for the reminder, body! You’re
awesome! AF came for sure on Tuesday morning. That marks our third cycle of
Actively Trying (Again).
I know, I know. Three cycles. BFD. I’m in the ALI
blogworld, three cycles of trying is nothing to this community. Only three
cycles is barely even starting. But I’m still scared. I’ve been pregnant 4
times. Every time was on the 1st month of trying (or - in the case
of my only successful pregnancy – during a month when we weren’t trying yet).
That’s awesome and lucky for us. Now I’ve been actively trying for 3 months and
nothing has happened. I’ve read enough about secondary infertility to be
afraid. I’m trying to be proactive about it. I’ve been tracking my cycles since
the beginning of the year. I won’t bore you with the details, but they are short.
I’m starting to wonder exactly when I ovulate. I don’t do temping because I don’t
think I could do it right.
So I bought 20 ovulation sticks from a cheapie website (the
same one where I bought a billion pregnancy tests) and I’m going to start
peeing on them as soon as I get them. And then I’m scheduling a massage for
myself near the middle of this month. I’m going to be relaxed and calm. And if
this doesn’t work, I’m not going to panic. I’m going to stick it out and just keep
trying because this is normal. I will, however, be contacting my doctor after 6
months of trying. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
