6 weeks to go!
I’ve had a nice week. My parents had their marriage recognized in the church (my brothers and I decided that we are now all legitimate, even though we are step children and all that mess…). I had to wear a dress. I was very upset about having to wear pantyhose (hello, ugly fat legs!). M suggested that I get thigh-highs. That man is a genius.
The good: The nursery is coming along. I decided it is much more fun to wash baby clothes than regular clothes. It also takes twice as long because I hold everything up and gush about how cute it is. My entire house smells like Dreft. I’ll post pictures once it is finished.
The bad: M won’t let me buy depends for nighttime. I just want to not have to roll myself out of bed two times a night!
The ugly: The next person to tell me “Sleep now while you can!” is going to get a swift punch in the neck. Look at me! Do you think I am sleeping? Are you insane? And do you really I’ll be sitting there at 3 am with a crying newborn all perky and going “Hey, you know what? I’m so glad I slept that extra 30 minutes in March! I’m wide awake now!” Jerks. Shut up.
In other news, my MIL has offered to drive us to the hospital when I go into labor. I’d like to remind you this is the same woman who flipped out when our electricity went out this winter and wanted to come rescue us, even though we have a fireplace and blankets. She is WONDERFUL, but she cannot handle stress. She is the type of person to grab the handle above the window and shriek if the light turns yellow as you drive through it. She is the last person I want driving while I have a contraction. Luckily, M agrees. He doesn’t even really want his parents at the hospital.
I've been thinking about when I had 34 weeks to go... when I was just 6 weeks pregnant and scared out of my mind. 34 more weeks seemed like such a long time to live with the crazy fears that come with pregnancy after loss. All those sleepless nights before doctor appointments. The crying and the constant reminding myself to say IF. Things are different now. I'm not afraid of going to the doctor anymore and getting news that my baby is dead - all I need to do is poke myself in the belly to be reassured. We say WHEN about the baby. We have a room set up. We could have the car seat installed this weekend. Of course I'm still afraid of something happening at delievery or my baby coming too early... I can't read any kind of story about stillbirth or SIDS. Those scare the shit out of me. But I'm not the paranoid mama that I was in September.
My heart is going out to everyone in the early days of pregnancy. You can get through it! It won't be long until you'll be writing about how you are less afraid and how in love you are.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
CPR Certified
We took our CPR class last night. I expected it to be filled with, I don’t know, teacher type people. But it wasn’t. It was about 90% pregnant couples. It was CPR for all people, not just infants (but that was obviously what most of us wanted). I took out my aggression (bad day at work) on poor Annie and I am SORE today. No one tells you that CPR class is actually a workout. My wrist is aching, my butt is sore (can I talk about butts any more here?). I’m like an old person!
And I think I’m pretty well off. M was amazed looking around at all the pregnant girls. Everyone asked everyone else how far along they were. Most people were about 30 weeks. One girl was 2 days ahead of me. I was one of the smallest girls there. M told me I was lucky, and he’s right. Some of the girls at 30 weeks were carrying so low – they had to do the CPR with the mannequins on the table.
So now I can help someone who collapses. I know what to do if my baby starts choking, I know what to do if my baby is unresponsive. I hope I don’t ever have to use this stuff.
And I think I’m pretty well off. M was amazed looking around at all the pregnant girls. Everyone asked everyone else how far along they were. Most people were about 30 weeks. One girl was 2 days ahead of me. I was one of the smallest girls there. M told me I was lucky, and he’s right. Some of the girls at 30 weeks were carrying so low – they had to do the CPR with the mannequins on the table.
So now I can help someone who collapses. I know what to do if my baby starts choking, I know what to do if my baby is unresponsive. I hope I don’t ever have to use this stuff.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Officially Mutation Free
We have finally received the results of M's CF testing. He is clear!
Read some background here. The short version is that I am a carrier for CF. M's family has a bad history (read: lots of early childhood death) and we decided to check for every single mutation, even the very rare ones. He does not have a single one. It cost us about $700 to make sure, but now we can breathe easy about this. I've been worried, just not talking about it.
All I need to do now is take the baby to the CF doctor a few weeks after birth so they can see if s/he is a carrier and compare that to the results from the early tests we did. Why is this important? It is WAY harder to tell if a baby has the same mutation as the mom. They try to isolate the baby's DNA from mine in the blood, but if we have the same CF markers, that's a little harder. So we still can help a little. And I don't have to worry (about this).
Oh, the *finally* part of the waiting is not because of the doctors or the lab. I've been bugging M to get the blood draw since December. He didn't want to do it. Not because of the blood draw part, but because he would have to go to his doctor's office and most likely get a physical. You know what doctors do to men at physicals? It involves fingers and butts. Once I found out about the group-B strep test, I told him that if I had to go through birth AND get something in my butt, he was going to do this one little thing. You can't argue with that. So he made the appointment and had the finger test. Now he is eagerly awaiting my butt appointment (and you all thought he was just really into butt stuff).
Read some background here. The short version is that I am a carrier for CF. M's family has a bad history (read: lots of early childhood death) and we decided to check for every single mutation, even the very rare ones. He does not have a single one. It cost us about $700 to make sure, but now we can breathe easy about this. I've been worried, just not talking about it.
All I need to do now is take the baby to the CF doctor a few weeks after birth so they can see if s/he is a carrier and compare that to the results from the early tests we did. Why is this important? It is WAY harder to tell if a baby has the same mutation as the mom. They try to isolate the baby's DNA from mine in the blood, but if we have the same CF markers, that's a little harder. So we still can help a little. And I don't have to worry (about this).
Oh, the *finally* part of the waiting is not because of the doctors or the lab. I've been bugging M to get the blood draw since December. He didn't want to do it. Not because of the blood draw part, but because he would have to go to his doctor's office and most likely get a physical. You know what doctors do to men at physicals? It involves fingers and butts. Once I found out about the group-B strep test, I told him that if I had to go through birth AND get something in my butt, he was going to do this one little thing. You can't argue with that. So he made the appointment and had the finger test. Now he is eagerly awaiting my butt appointment (and you all thought he was just really into butt stuff).
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
33 Weeks
The good: A lady offered me her seat when I was waiting for my lunch last week. I look pregnant. Very pregnant. My house is full of baby things. My little kicker is happily moving around right now. We’re busy getting storage things together so we can start setting up the nursery! I can’t wait! My replacement glider is ready to be picked up. I’m going to BRU with the gift card we got from buying the furniture, so I will be set loose with $150! It’s going to be awesome!
I bought my first toy for the baby last night. I know I bought furniture and bedding, but this felt different. I got a little stuffed Eeyore. It was a little scary, since I’m still constantly doubting that this baby will actually come home with me. I have to let this doubt go. This way I am making memories with this baby, no matter what. I can’t miss out on this time just because I’m afraid.
The bad: Oh, my hips. Oh, my ribs. Oh, I’m tired.
The ugly: I had a leg cramp on Friday night. It was the worst pain I have ever had in my life. I woke M up because I was crying and shouting. Yes, I’m a crier, but I’m a quiet crier (you know, ugly scrunched up face and lots of tears, but no noise). I was yelling because of the pain. That finalized my plans for at least one epidural. Has anyone had a leg cramp like that AND given birth? I can’t imagine a pain worse than the pain I felt Friday night. And I’m pretty sure that was nothing compared to giving birth.
I bought my first toy for the baby last night. I know I bought furniture and bedding, but this felt different. I got a little stuffed Eeyore. It was a little scary, since I’m still constantly doubting that this baby will actually come home with me. I have to let this doubt go. This way I am making memories with this baby, no matter what. I can’t miss out on this time just because I’m afraid.
The bad: Oh, my hips. Oh, my ribs. Oh, I’m tired.
The ugly: I had a leg cramp on Friday night. It was the worst pain I have ever had in my life. I woke M up because I was crying and shouting. Yes, I’m a crier, but I’m a quiet crier (you know, ugly scrunched up face and lots of tears, but no noise). I was yelling because of the pain. That finalized my plans for at least one epidural. Has anyone had a leg cramp like that AND given birth? I can’t imagine a pain worse than the pain I felt Friday night. And I’m pretty sure that was nothing compared to giving birth.
Monday, March 22, 2010
32 week appointment
I just got back from my appointment. Everything went well. I could hear another baby's heartbeat through the walls. It brought back some bad memories, but I knew today's appointment would go well and that I'd hear something similar in just a few minutes.
And I did. The heart rate is steady in the 130s. I am measuring right on time.
I asked two questions today:
Q. What is the crazy soreness that I have every morning right in the top center of my stomach (directly below my ribs)?
A. It is my muscles splitting open! Awesome! It's a type of hernia that I would never be able to remember and she said it can cause severe pain down the road. It doesn't get bad for everyone, but it seems like I might be one that will have it. I can't wait for that. As of now, I have this painful spot every morning when I wake up. It usually goes away within an hour. I wouldn't call it severe... it just feels like a bruise.
There is also the slight possibility that it is the baby pushing up in one spot too much, but since it happens all the time... probably not.
Um, also, do not look up HERNIA online. I just wanted to see if I could find the correct term. No luck. I feel sick now.
Q. What is the position of the baby?
A. "He is head down. Did I just say he? I don't know why I said that?" Then she started flipping through my file. I am actually pretty excited about this. I have no idea if they write it in the file. And the way she flipped through made me think that she didn't even know if that was what she had read. I have such strong girl feelings about this baby. I would be SO surprised if there's a boy in there. But now I have a good reason to wonder again! She also noted that the head down thing is just a RIGHT NOW thing. It could change any minute. I am goign to ask at every appointment now that I know they can tell. It's kind of neat. Now I know that is a little butt that is sticking into my ribs.
I realized that I should only have 5 more appointments. I love countdowns!
And I did. The heart rate is steady in the 130s. I am measuring right on time.
I asked two questions today:
Q. What is the crazy soreness that I have every morning right in the top center of my stomach (directly below my ribs)?
A. It is my muscles splitting open! Awesome! It's a type of hernia that I would never be able to remember and she said it can cause severe pain down the road. It doesn't get bad for everyone, but it seems like I might be one that will have it. I can't wait for that. As of now, I have this painful spot every morning when I wake up. It usually goes away within an hour. I wouldn't call it severe... it just feels like a bruise.
There is also the slight possibility that it is the baby pushing up in one spot too much, but since it happens all the time... probably not.
Um, also, do not look up HERNIA online. I just wanted to see if I could find the correct term. No luck. I feel sick now.
Q. What is the position of the baby?
A. "He is head down. Did I just say he? I don't know why I said that?" Then she started flipping through my file. I am actually pretty excited about this. I have no idea if they write it in the file. And the way she flipped through made me think that she didn't even know if that was what she had read. I have such strong girl feelings about this baby. I would be SO surprised if there's a boy in there. But now I have a good reason to wonder again! She also noted that the head down thing is just a RIGHT NOW thing. It could change any minute. I am goign to ask at every appointment now that I know they can tell. It's kind of neat. Now I know that is a little butt that is sticking into my ribs.
I realized that I should only have 5 more appointments. I love countdowns!
Baby Shower!
I had a wonderful weekend!
I’d like to mention quickly that I went to see Stomp on Friday night. It was awesome. The baby was kicking and moving all over the place for the entire show. Then he/she stayed awake all night practicing the moves. That was fun, too.
My shower was on Saturday afternoon. I had such a wonderful time. We got there early so I could greet everyone as they came in. M stayed for a while, too. He was afraid to stay for the presents (he went to an auto parts store with his dad instead). We had lunch and then I opened all the gifts. Wow! We had to ask some family members to take some things home for us. We are pretty well prepared for a baby now! We have all the big stuff and most of the small stuff. We have a gift card from a furniture promotion that we need to use by the end of the month. We figured we’d go there and get a big thing with it… I think we’ll just be getting some diapers and wipes instead. I am so grateful that my family and friends are so awesome!
I cried a lot during the shower. M’s grandmother spent her winter making little blankets and sweaters and booties and hats. They are all so small and cute! I cried!
Then my mom gave me a sweater that my grandmother had made. She was a huge knitter. She would knit all day and make all these little sweaters. She would give them to anyone who was pregnant and all the rest went to the local hospital. I had been hoping there was a sweater for me somewhere… I was so happy when I opened that box. And I cried SO much. I’m still crying now. I cry whenever I look at it or tell someone about it.
Then M’s mom gave me an outfit that M’s great-grandmother had made for him. I can’t even imagine that. My baby will have something from their great-great grandmother. That is something amazing. I hope she has a picture of M in the sweater. I was giggling a little when I opened this one because I kept picturing M in this little green sweater with ribbons all through it. He must have been so cute!
My mom got us a glider. I was so excited about this sucker! The baby loves it when I sit in those things and I knew that I would be glued to it as soon as we could get it in the house. My Father-in-law sat in it while they were waiting for me to arrive. It broke. It wasn’t his fault – he’s not a huge guy or anything. And my mom was actually kind of grateful that it broke when he sat in it instead of me – or later when I was holding the baby. We returned it on Sunday morning and I hope the new one will come in before the end of this week. For those keeping track – that is 2 out of 3 furniture items that were damaged. Neat!
I was exhausted after the party. I got home and just watched Harry Potter movies all evening. I went through all the gifts on Sunday with M. He liked the toys and clothes. He didn’t really care about the rest. We decided we need a lot more storage! We are going to get a bookshelf and a storage shelf for the closet this week. Then I should be able to start putting everything into the room. It’s going to be so cute!
Then the baby barely moved all day on Sunday. It wasn’t like no movement, but just not as much as I am used to. So I was nervous all day. This morning has been nutso, though. The poor kid hates when I type, so I think I’ll end here for now.
I have an appointment at 1 pm. I’m going to ask if they can tell what position the baby is in. M is pretty busy at work, but he’s still coming to all the appointments. I read somewhere that I get a test for an infection that is done rectally at some point. M said he doesn’t want to miss that one. He’s such a lovely man.
Oh, and here’s something awesome. Almost everyone at work is sick. I hear sniffles all day long. People are staying away from me and I’m washing my hands and all that stuff. But I’m pretty sure I’m going to get really cranky really soon.
I’d like to mention quickly that I went to see Stomp on Friday night. It was awesome. The baby was kicking and moving all over the place for the entire show. Then he/she stayed awake all night practicing the moves. That was fun, too.
My shower was on Saturday afternoon. I had such a wonderful time. We got there early so I could greet everyone as they came in. M stayed for a while, too. He was afraid to stay for the presents (he went to an auto parts store with his dad instead). We had lunch and then I opened all the gifts. Wow! We had to ask some family members to take some things home for us. We are pretty well prepared for a baby now! We have all the big stuff and most of the small stuff. We have a gift card from a furniture promotion that we need to use by the end of the month. We figured we’d go there and get a big thing with it… I think we’ll just be getting some diapers and wipes instead. I am so grateful that my family and friends are so awesome!
I cried a lot during the shower. M’s grandmother spent her winter making little blankets and sweaters and booties and hats. They are all so small and cute! I cried!
Then my mom gave me a sweater that my grandmother had made. She was a huge knitter. She would knit all day and make all these little sweaters. She would give them to anyone who was pregnant and all the rest went to the local hospital. I had been hoping there was a sweater for me somewhere… I was so happy when I opened that box. And I cried SO much. I’m still crying now. I cry whenever I look at it or tell someone about it.
Then M’s mom gave me an outfit that M’s great-grandmother had made for him. I can’t even imagine that. My baby will have something from their great-great grandmother. That is something amazing. I hope she has a picture of M in the sweater. I was giggling a little when I opened this one because I kept picturing M in this little green sweater with ribbons all through it. He must have been so cute!
My mom got us a glider. I was so excited about this sucker! The baby loves it when I sit in those things and I knew that I would be glued to it as soon as we could get it in the house. My Father-in-law sat in it while they were waiting for me to arrive. It broke. It wasn’t his fault – he’s not a huge guy or anything. And my mom was actually kind of grateful that it broke when he sat in it instead of me – or later when I was holding the baby. We returned it on Sunday morning and I hope the new one will come in before the end of this week. For those keeping track – that is 2 out of 3 furniture items that were damaged. Neat!
I was exhausted after the party. I got home and just watched Harry Potter movies all evening. I went through all the gifts on Sunday with M. He liked the toys and clothes. He didn’t really care about the rest. We decided we need a lot more storage! We are going to get a bookshelf and a storage shelf for the closet this week. Then I should be able to start putting everything into the room. It’s going to be so cute!
Then the baby barely moved all day on Sunday. It wasn’t like no movement, but just not as much as I am used to. So I was nervous all day. This morning has been nutso, though. The poor kid hates when I type, so I think I’ll end here for now.
I have an appointment at 1 pm. I’m going to ask if they can tell what position the baby is in. M is pretty busy at work, but he’s still coming to all the appointments. I read somewhere that I get a test for an infection that is done rectally at some point. M said he doesn’t want to miss that one. He’s such a lovely man.
Oh, and here’s something awesome. Almost everyone at work is sick. I hear sniffles all day long. People are staying away from me and I’m washing my hands and all that stuff. But I’m pretty sure I’m going to get really cranky really soon.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
32 Weeks!
Special thanks to all those who shared their BFing experiences and advice and fears. I feel better!
Here is my 32 week update. 8 weeks to go... holy crap.
The good: M has been feeling the baby regularly. He talks to the baby and all that great stuff. My big shower is this weekend! My new crib is being delivered this afternoon!
The bad: I am getting more and more uncomfortable every day. I am also getting angrier at the people around me (this might not be a bad thing)
The ugly: I am preparing for a child by spitting up a few times a day. Really. Out of nowhere. I don’t even get a burpy feeling, I just burp out a bunch of water. I have yet to make a mess or anything, but it’s still gross (read: I throw up in my mouth). I’m sure this is related to my fantastic heartburn and acid reflux problem, but the spitting up doesn’t hurt at all. It just gives me bad breath.
Normal life: I had a dentist appointment this morning. The hygienist talked to me about nursing the whole time. Does she read my blog? I have fluoride breath right now and it is gross.
{Drama Removed}
Pediatrician: I have one! I had a meet and great yesterday afternoon. He is a jolly man in a bugs bunny tie. He talked to me for about 40 minutes and made sure all my questions are answered. I didn’t see eye-to-eye with him on all the vaccine stuff, but he said several parents are on the schedule that I am interested in (Dr Sears). Why am I interested in the alternative vaccine schedule? My mom said she liked it better. I’m currently reading (skimming) the book and I agree with it. That doesn’t mean any other approach is wrong.
Here is my 32 week update. 8 weeks to go... holy crap.
The good: M has been feeling the baby regularly. He talks to the baby and all that great stuff. My big shower is this weekend! My new crib is being delivered this afternoon!
The bad: I am getting more and more uncomfortable every day. I am also getting angrier at the people around me (this might not be a bad thing)
The ugly: I am preparing for a child by spitting up a few times a day. Really. Out of nowhere. I don’t even get a burpy feeling, I just burp out a bunch of water. I have yet to make a mess or anything, but it’s still gross (read: I throw up in my mouth). I’m sure this is related to my fantastic heartburn and acid reflux problem, but the spitting up doesn’t hurt at all. It just gives me bad breath.
Normal life: I had a dentist appointment this morning. The hygienist talked to me about nursing the whole time. Does she read my blog? I have fluoride breath right now and it is gross.
{Drama Removed}
Pediatrician: I have one! I had a meet and great yesterday afternoon. He is a jolly man in a bugs bunny tie. He talked to me for about 40 minutes and made sure all my questions are answered. I didn’t see eye-to-eye with him on all the vaccine stuff, but he said several parents are on the schedule that I am interested in (Dr Sears). Why am I interested in the alternative vaccine schedule? My mom said she liked it better. I’m currently reading (skimming) the book and I agree with it. That doesn’t mean any other approach is wrong.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Breastfeeding Class
We had our breastfeeding class last night. I’m glad we took it, I feel more prepared now. I learned about positions and some other tips. I learned that my hospital doesn’t sell the pump I want (I can get it from the hospital where my mom works). I learned that we should grab 2 cookies before the class starts so we don’t have to share one.
The class started off kind of slow. We watched a video that makes it look so easy! She talked about the problems you can have and about the hospital services and policies. I was happy to learn about a back-to-work class that they have after your baby is born. I’ll be going to that!
M learned that boobs aren’t just giant bags of milk. He had no idea about the actual anatomy. Awesome.
She showed us some cream for nipple problems. I will probably just buy that stuff the next time I am at the store.
The biggest thing we got out of the class was the opportunity to think about what we want immediately after the baby is born. My mom will be in the room with me, my dad and M’s parents will be in the waiting room. We’ve decided that we want the first hour with just the 3 of us. We need to try the whole breastfeeding thing and just want that time to bond. The woman told us how a baby is usually alert for the first hour and then all the excitement catches up with them and they pass out. Our parents can come in and hold the sleeping baby. They’ll have plenty of time to get to know him/her afterwards. We’ll never be able to re-do that first hour. We’re happy we’ve decided this ahead of time so we won’t have disappointed parents knocking on the door.
So the real truth is that I am terrified of breast feeding. I’m more afraid of that than birth. Birth hurts real big one time and then you get a reward. You have lingering pain afterwards, but that’s manageable. I actually looking forward to that one. I’m terrified of breastfeeding hurting for months and months. My nipples are pretty sensitive as it is, I don’t think that will get better. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it. I’m afraid I won’t know that I’m not doing it right. I’m afraid that I’ll lose my supply too early (my mom did). I’m afraid my kid will starve. I’m afraid my MIL will think less of me if I can’t do it (she’s already been hinting about how natural birth is wonderful – ha!). I’m afraid of disappointing M.
I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself. I am going to try my best. If I can’t do it, then I have plenty of other ways to feed my baby. We can afford formula (I won’t be using this). No one is going to be angry at me. My child will be fine. I just keep telling myself these things over and over. I hope I can do it.
The class started off kind of slow. We watched a video that makes it look so easy! She talked about the problems you can have and about the hospital services and policies. I was happy to learn about a back-to-work class that they have after your baby is born. I’ll be going to that!
M learned that boobs aren’t just giant bags of milk. He had no idea about the actual anatomy. Awesome.
She showed us some cream for nipple problems. I will probably just buy that stuff the next time I am at the store.
The biggest thing we got out of the class was the opportunity to think about what we want immediately after the baby is born. My mom will be in the room with me, my dad and M’s parents will be in the waiting room. We’ve decided that we want the first hour with just the 3 of us. We need to try the whole breastfeeding thing and just want that time to bond. The woman told us how a baby is usually alert for the first hour and then all the excitement catches up with them and they pass out. Our parents can come in and hold the sleeping baby. They’ll have plenty of time to get to know him/her afterwards. We’ll never be able to re-do that first hour. We’re happy we’ve decided this ahead of time so we won’t have disappointed parents knocking on the door.
So the real truth is that I am terrified of breast feeding. I’m more afraid of that than birth. Birth hurts real big one time and then you get a reward. You have lingering pain afterwards, but that’s manageable. I actually looking forward to that one. I’m terrified of breastfeeding hurting for months and months. My nipples are pretty sensitive as it is, I don’t think that will get better. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it. I’m afraid I won’t know that I’m not doing it right. I’m afraid that I’ll lose my supply too early (my mom did). I’m afraid my kid will starve. I’m afraid my MIL will think less of me if I can’t do it (she’s already been hinting about how natural birth is wonderful – ha!). I’m afraid of disappointing M.
I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself. I am going to try my best. If I can’t do it, then I have plenty of other ways to feed my baby. We can afford formula (I won’t be using this). No one is going to be angry at me. My child will be fine. I just keep telling myself these things over and over. I hope I can do it.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
31 Weeks
Week 31… 9 weeks to go. That is single digits. I can do this!
The good: M could feel a baby butt (or head? Or elbow?) last night and he was amazed. I usually push the butt (in my mind, everything is a butt) back in when it sticks out like that because it hurts a little. But this time, M was right there and I had him touch it. We’re having his brother come over on Friday evening and I hope this little one will be active for his/her uncle!
The bad: M told me that he thinks pregnancy is just a bunch of peeing, farting and burping. I am having a hard time getting out of comfy couches. I leave things on the floor a lot. I just drop everything and I cannot bend over AGAIN to get it. So it stays on the floor until I drop something else nearby. Then I will get both. I believe that my husband should be picking these things up, but I don’t think he sees messes. In his defense: he emptied the bottom rack of the dishwasher so I wouldn’t have to bend over.
The ugly: My butt. Really. I do understand and embrace the idea of gaining weight during pregnancy, I can’t stress that enough… butt… butt… but my maternity pants are getting pretty tight on my butt and thighs. I’m storing up all that fat for nursing, I guess. I’m thankful that I’m not all huge and puffy and that my face still looks normal. I am getting comments about being “so small!” and all that, so I don’t really think I should complain. Butt. I am getting a big butt.
Just to say it a few more times. Butt Butt Butt Butt!
I forgot to talk about my awesome weekend! We went to the beach to see my parents, my brother, SIL and niece (age 4). We had a wonderful time. I kept looking around the house and trying to imagine having a baby with us the next time we are there. My parents decided to buy this house in May. They told me about it on May 16th and we lost the baby on May 18th. So it did hurt to think that I was supposed to have this first visit with a 4 month old. I thought about him a lot this weekend and how I’ll keep thinking about him with everything I do with this baby. It wasn’t all gloominess all the time, though! My niece kept talking to me about the baby. She wants to push the baby on a swing. She wants to feed the baby. She does not want to change the baby’s poopy diapers. She wants me to go to the hospital tonight and get the baby out for her. She asked M why I was having a baby. She did not believe that this baby will be his, too.
In work news:
{Drama Removed}
TMI question: My nipples are getting funny. Like they remind me of scabs that are flaking off. I don't like touching them or anything and this morning a little piece fell off and it was very weird feeling. Is this "cracked, dry nipples?" Should I be getting nipple cream now? If I were a baby, I wouldn't want to get my dinner from these gross looking nipples.
The good: M could feel a baby butt (or head? Or elbow?) last night and he was amazed. I usually push the butt (in my mind, everything is a butt) back in when it sticks out like that because it hurts a little. But this time, M was right there and I had him touch it. We’re having his brother come over on Friday evening and I hope this little one will be active for his/her uncle!
The bad: M told me that he thinks pregnancy is just a bunch of peeing, farting and burping. I am having a hard time getting out of comfy couches. I leave things on the floor a lot. I just drop everything and I cannot bend over AGAIN to get it. So it stays on the floor until I drop something else nearby. Then I will get both. I believe that my husband should be picking these things up, but I don’t think he sees messes. In his defense: he emptied the bottom rack of the dishwasher so I wouldn’t have to bend over.
The ugly: My butt. Really. I do understand and embrace the idea of gaining weight during pregnancy, I can’t stress that enough… butt… butt… but my maternity pants are getting pretty tight on my butt and thighs. I’m storing up all that fat for nursing, I guess. I’m thankful that I’m not all huge and puffy and that my face still looks normal. I am getting comments about being “so small!” and all that, so I don’t really think I should complain. Butt. I am getting a big butt.
Just to say it a few more times. Butt Butt Butt Butt!
I forgot to talk about my awesome weekend! We went to the beach to see my parents, my brother, SIL and niece (age 4). We had a wonderful time. I kept looking around the house and trying to imagine having a baby with us the next time we are there. My parents decided to buy this house in May. They told me about it on May 16th and we lost the baby on May 18th. So it did hurt to think that I was supposed to have this first visit with a 4 month old. I thought about him a lot this weekend and how I’ll keep thinking about him with everything I do with this baby. It wasn’t all gloominess all the time, though! My niece kept talking to me about the baby. She wants to push the baby on a swing. She wants to feed the baby. She does not want to change the baby’s poopy diapers. She wants me to go to the hospital tonight and get the baby out for her. She asked M why I was having a baby. She did not believe that this baby will be his, too.
In work news:
{Drama Removed}
TMI question: My nipples are getting funny. Like they remind me of scabs that are flaking off. I don't like touching them or anything and this morning a little piece fell off and it was very weird feeling. Is this "cracked, dry nipples?" Should I be getting nipple cream now? If I were a baby, I wouldn't want to get my dinner from these gross looking nipples.
Monday, March 8, 2010
30 week apointment
I had my 30 week appointment today and all is well. It took a minute or two to catch the heartbeat, but I could hear it for a second before it moved. Plus, the baby had been kicking me during the wait for the doctor. That makes the heartbeat search so much easier!
The specifics:
The baby’s heart rate is in the 130s, same as last time.
I am only slightly anemic – the number is 34. Here is an article my mom sent me about the levels. I still don’t really understand it, but it’s not very bad.
The doctor was impressed that I found a place for cord blood donation. Every time I’ve asked them for donation information, they gave me a card for Viacord. In my research, I realized it was because Maryland doesn’t have any local donation facilities. The best I can do is the online place. She wants more information about the bank and hopefully this will work out and more moms will be able to donate. As for their office, no one is sure what the office will do about fees. I will call and find out what the fees are for normal banking so I won’t get surprised. Then I’ll ask what they would do for a donation – most websites say that the collection should be free if you donate the cord blood. I don’t mind paying a small fee, but I’m not going to be charged more than $100 for a good deed.
In other news, I had my office baby shower on Friday (background here).
{Drama Removed}
So, right, the shower itself was very nice. I am blessed to have generous coworkers who contributed to get me a lot of great gifts! I couldn’t believe it! We had lots of great food (ordered in as our normal 1st Friday lunch) and lots of desserts! I love desserts. A coworker’s wife made a cake for me with frogs on it. Very cute ad yummy. Another coworker brought in the cutest cupcakes I have ever seen. The conference room was decorated so nicely!!! If I get pictures of these things, I’ll post them. M was there to celebrate and that was nice (and having him there made it better to talk about it afterwards). Most of the men in my office (that means most of the people in my office) have never been to a baby shower before. Only 2-3 even have young kids. The look on my boss’s face when I opened the boppy pillow was priceless. He had NO idea what that was for. And I wasn’t going to tell him.
{More drama removed}
The specifics:
The baby’s heart rate is in the 130s, same as last time.
I am only slightly anemic – the number is 34. Here is an article my mom sent me about the levels. I still don’t really understand it, but it’s not very bad.
The doctor was impressed that I found a place for cord blood donation. Every time I’ve asked them for donation information, they gave me a card for Viacord. In my research, I realized it was because Maryland doesn’t have any local donation facilities. The best I can do is the online place. She wants more information about the bank and hopefully this will work out and more moms will be able to donate. As for their office, no one is sure what the office will do about fees. I will call and find out what the fees are for normal banking so I won’t get surprised. Then I’ll ask what they would do for a donation – most websites say that the collection should be free if you donate the cord blood. I don’t mind paying a small fee, but I’m not going to be charged more than $100 for a good deed.
In other news, I had my office baby shower on Friday (background here).
{Drama Removed}
So, right, the shower itself was very nice. I am blessed to have generous coworkers who contributed to get me a lot of great gifts! I couldn’t believe it! We had lots of great food (ordered in as our normal 1st Friday lunch) and lots of desserts! I love desserts. A coworker’s wife made a cake for me with frogs on it. Very cute ad yummy. Another coworker brought in the cutest cupcakes I have ever seen. The conference room was decorated so nicely!!! If I get pictures of these things, I’ll post them. M was there to celebrate and that was nice (and having him there made it better to talk about it afterwards). Most of the men in my office (that means most of the people in my office) have never been to a baby shower before. Only 2-3 even have young kids. The look on my boss’s face when I opened the boppy pillow was priceless. He had NO idea what that was for. And I wasn’t going to tell him.
{More drama removed}
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
30 weeks!
The good: Two nights ago, I was cleaning up from dinner while M was still sitting at the table (finishing his wine…. grrr). He waved me over to him and I thought he was going to pull some food off my shirt (because that happens a lot). But he pulled me close to him and leaned over a little so his head was right up against my belly and he whispered, “I love you.” It doesn’t get much better than that.
The bad: Heartburn, as usual. I realize I don’t have it all that bad. I can take one Tums and it usually stops within a few minutes. I complain all the time because the Tums is usually not right next to me and it takes too much effort to actually stand up and get it. It seems that M&Ms are a big reason for this. I’m not going to stop eating them. I need to eat them because E can’t. Somebody has to eat the candy.
The ugly: We’re going to the beach this weekend. I’m thinking of getting some depends because the drive is through a whole lot of nowhere and I know I’m going to need to pee before my usual pee spot (and don’t act like you don’t have your typical pee stops on frequently traveled routes!).
The bad: Heartburn, as usual. I realize I don’t have it all that bad. I can take one Tums and it usually stops within a few minutes. I complain all the time because the Tums is usually not right next to me and it takes too much effort to actually stand up and get it. It seems that M&Ms are a big reason for this. I’m not going to stop eating them. I need to eat them because E can’t. Somebody has to eat the candy.
The ugly: We’re going to the beach this weekend. I’m thinking of getting some depends because the drive is through a whole lot of nowhere and I know I’m going to need to pee before my usual pee spot (and don’t act like you don’t have your typical pee stops on frequently traveled routes!).
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The not-so-exciting shower
I have a work shower coming up. Soon. Like Friday soon.
{drama removed}
For the record, I don’t have any of these fears about my real shower, where I will be surrounded by women that I really like and will be a great time.
{drama removed}
For the record, I don’t have any of these fears about my real shower, where I will be surrounded by women that I really like and will be a great time.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Steak, furniture and classes
Hi! Did everyone have a good weekend? Things were insane in my house!
First Item!
I DO NOT HAVE DIABETES!!!! WOOOHHHOOOOO!!! Bring on the cookies. But make them cookies with a side of steak because I’m anemic. I have to take iron pills now. I blame that on M for not giving me cheeseburgers every night. My mom wants to know how anemic I am, so I need to call the office and get the actual numbers. I hope these iron pills don’t stop me up too bad. I got the slow release ones. Now I take 5 different pills a day (which, um, is nothing compared to what some of you do).
Next Item!
We spent all day Saturday emptying out the office and making it into a nursery. Poor M made at least 40 trips from our top floor to the basement carrying tons of stuff – mostly books! We got all of the stuff out of the room before noon (which is pretty darn good!). Then the in-laws came over to help with the furniture. We had some trouble getting desks to the basement, but it all worked out in the end.
M and his dad headed out to BRU to pick up the crib and dresser. They were gone forever. They called me once to complain that nothing fit in the Blazer. I told them to go to Home Depot and get some rope and make it work. They did. Then MIL and I watched them carry the fully assembled dresser up the stairs (we thought it would come in pieces… we probably would have picked different stuff if we knew it was fully assembled). The crib box was all busted up. I would have opened it at the store to make sure it was all ok. M did not do this (although he talked to the guy at the store and they assured him that they had opened the box and inspected everything). The crib headboard was split in half. Yippee! So we have a broken crib in our foyer until they deliver the new one. M called on Sunday and talked to a manager until they agreed to send someone to exchange the crib. He’s good at that kind of stuff. I was almost ready to cry when MIL pulled one of my Pollyanna tricks on me – she said “well, at least it’s not the dresser! I don’t think the guys could get that thing back down the stairs!” She was right. At least it was the much lighter crib that was carried up in pieces. At least the furniture will be here within a week or two. A broken crib 10 weeks before the baby is even due is not a big deal.
So now we have a baby room with a dresser and our office is all set up in the basement. It looks good down there. I wasn’t optimistic and I thought we’d be crowded down there. Now I kind of wish we’d always had the office in the basement.
Next Item!
We took the in-laws to dinner after all their hard work. I spent the dinner with a foot in my rib, so I kind of had to sit sideways to elongate myself. Everyone told me I looked like a fat trucker eating at a diner. I tried to sit better, but then I couldn’t reach the table. I am sitting the same way right now (but leaning to the right instead of the left). The kid will move when I push it down, but then reaches back up in there. Oh boy!
Next Item!
We went to an infant care class on Sunday. We learned how to bathe a baby and how to change diapers and swaddle. She showed us pictures of newborns and all the little things that might scare someone who has never seen a newborn up close. She spent A LOT of time telling us to trust our instincts, to advocate for ourselves and the baby and to not be afraid to ask for help. All the things that girls like me need to hear. I thought that was the best part of the class. The worst part was that our baby doll was ugly. And the clothes we had for him were pink and frilly. We felt bad that we didn’t bond with our ugly baby and then gave him a complex with girl clothes.
Next Item!
Alyssa wrote a few days ago about being on the other side of the fence.
That was a huge thing for me this weekend and last weekend. Normally, I do try to conceal this belly some. I’m usually wearing my huge purple MIL coat that just makes me look like a chubby lady who isn’t used to walking with her fat. I don't want anyone to look at me and feel the sadness that I used to feel.
Right, so we were in Babies R Us registering last weekend and I was sitting at the table getting everything set up. I had my coat on even though I was kind of warm. I didn’t want to bother anyone around me with my belly. Then I realized something. I was in the middle of preggo-land. Although people around me might have suffered from a loss or infertility, they were here because they were preparing for a baby and their dreams were coming true. I didn’t have to hide here!
I had the same feeling this weekend. We walked into the hospital and I kind of guarded my belly. Then I realized I was in a class for infant care. Everyone there was the same size as me. I could rub my belly all I wanted and I could shift uncomfortably when I had that foot in my rib.
It’s a great place to be.
First Item!
I DO NOT HAVE DIABETES!!!! WOOOHHHOOOOO!!! Bring on the cookies. But make them cookies with a side of steak because I’m anemic. I have to take iron pills now. I blame that on M for not giving me cheeseburgers every night. My mom wants to know how anemic I am, so I need to call the office and get the actual numbers. I hope these iron pills don’t stop me up too bad. I got the slow release ones. Now I take 5 different pills a day (which, um, is nothing compared to what some of you do).
Next Item!
We spent all day Saturday emptying out the office and making it into a nursery. Poor M made at least 40 trips from our top floor to the basement carrying tons of stuff – mostly books! We got all of the stuff out of the room before noon (which is pretty darn good!). Then the in-laws came over to help with the furniture. We had some trouble getting desks to the basement, but it all worked out in the end.
M and his dad headed out to BRU to pick up the crib and dresser. They were gone forever. They called me once to complain that nothing fit in the Blazer. I told them to go to Home Depot and get some rope and make it work. They did. Then MIL and I watched them carry the fully assembled dresser up the stairs (we thought it would come in pieces… we probably would have picked different stuff if we knew it was fully assembled). The crib box was all busted up. I would have opened it at the store to make sure it was all ok. M did not do this (although he talked to the guy at the store and they assured him that they had opened the box and inspected everything). The crib headboard was split in half. Yippee! So we have a broken crib in our foyer until they deliver the new one. M called on Sunday and talked to a manager until they agreed to send someone to exchange the crib. He’s good at that kind of stuff. I was almost ready to cry when MIL pulled one of my Pollyanna tricks on me – she said “well, at least it’s not the dresser! I don’t think the guys could get that thing back down the stairs!” She was right. At least it was the much lighter crib that was carried up in pieces. At least the furniture will be here within a week or two. A broken crib 10 weeks before the baby is even due is not a big deal.
So now we have a baby room with a dresser and our office is all set up in the basement. It looks good down there. I wasn’t optimistic and I thought we’d be crowded down there. Now I kind of wish we’d always had the office in the basement.
Next Item!
We took the in-laws to dinner after all their hard work. I spent the dinner with a foot in my rib, so I kind of had to sit sideways to elongate myself. Everyone told me I looked like a fat trucker eating at a diner. I tried to sit better, but then I couldn’t reach the table. I am sitting the same way right now (but leaning to the right instead of the left). The kid will move when I push it down, but then reaches back up in there. Oh boy!
Next Item!
We went to an infant care class on Sunday. We learned how to bathe a baby and how to change diapers and swaddle. She showed us pictures of newborns and all the little things that might scare someone who has never seen a newborn up close. She spent A LOT of time telling us to trust our instincts, to advocate for ourselves and the baby and to not be afraid to ask for help. All the things that girls like me need to hear. I thought that was the best part of the class. The worst part was that our baby doll was ugly. And the clothes we had for him were pink and frilly. We felt bad that we didn’t bond with our ugly baby and then gave him a complex with girl clothes.
Next Item!
Alyssa wrote a few days ago about being on the other side of the fence.
That was a huge thing for me this weekend and last weekend. Normally, I do try to conceal this belly some. I’m usually wearing my huge purple MIL coat that just makes me look like a chubby lady who isn’t used to walking with her fat. I don't want anyone to look at me and feel the sadness that I used to feel.
Right, so we were in Babies R Us registering last weekend and I was sitting at the table getting everything set up. I had my coat on even though I was kind of warm. I didn’t want to bother anyone around me with my belly. Then I realized something. I was in the middle of preggo-land. Although people around me might have suffered from a loss or infertility, they were here because they were preparing for a baby and their dreams were coming true. I didn’t have to hide here!
I had the same feeling this weekend. We walked into the hospital and I kind of guarded my belly. Then I realized I was in a class for infant care. Everyone there was the same size as me. I could rub my belly all I wanted and I could shift uncomfortably when I had that foot in my rib.
It’s a great place to be.
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