Breastfeeding Class

We had our breastfeeding class last night. I’m glad we took it, I feel more prepared now. I learned about positions and some other tips. I learned that my hospital doesn’t sell the pump I want (I can get it from the hospital where my mom works). I learned that we should grab 2 cookies before the class starts so we don’t have to share one.

The class started off kind of slow. We watched a video that makes it look so easy! She talked about the problems you can have and about the hospital services and policies. I was happy to learn about a back-to-work class that they have after your baby is born. I’ll be going to that!

M learned that boobs aren’t just giant bags of milk. He had no idea about the actual anatomy. Awesome.

She showed us some cream for nipple problems. I will probably just buy that stuff the next time I am at the store.

The biggest thing we got out of the class was the opportunity to think about what we want immediately after the baby is born. My mom will be in the room with me, my dad and M’s parents will be in the waiting room. We’ve decided that we want the first hour with just the 3 of us. We need to try the whole breastfeeding thing and just want that time to bond. The woman told us how a baby is usually alert for the first hour and then all the excitement catches up with them and they pass out. Our parents can come in and hold the sleeping baby. They’ll have plenty of time to get to know him/her afterwards. We’ll never be able to re-do that first hour. We’re happy we’ve decided this ahead of time so we won’t have disappointed parents knocking on the door.

So the real truth is that I am terrified of breast feeding. I’m more afraid of that than birth. Birth hurts real big one time and then you get a reward. You have lingering pain afterwards, but that’s manageable. I actually looking forward to that one. I’m terrified of breastfeeding hurting for months and months. My nipples are pretty sensitive as it is, I don’t think that will get better. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it. I’m afraid I won’t know that I’m not doing it right. I’m afraid that I’ll lose my supply too early (my mom did). I’m afraid my kid will starve. I’m afraid my MIL will think less of me if I can’t do it (she’s already been hinting about how natural birth is wonderful – ha!). I’m afraid of disappointing M.

I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself. I am going to try my best. If I can’t do it, then I have plenty of other ways to feed my baby. We can afford formula (I won’t be using this). No one is going to be angry at me. My child will be fine. I just keep telling myself these things over and over. I hope I can do it.