33 Weeks

The good: A lady offered me her seat when I was waiting for my lunch last week. I look pregnant. Very pregnant. My house is full of baby things. My little kicker is happily moving around right now. We’re busy getting storage things together so we can start setting up the nursery! I can’t wait! My replacement glider is ready to be picked up. I’m going to BRU with the gift card we got from buying the furniture, so I will be set loose with $150! It’s going to be awesome!

I bought my first toy for the baby last night. I know I bought furniture and bedding, but this felt different. I got a little stuffed Eeyore. It was a little scary, since I’m still constantly doubting that this baby will actually come home with me. I have to let this doubt go. This way I am making memories with this baby, no matter what. I can’t miss out on this time just because I’m afraid.

The bad: Oh, my hips. Oh, my ribs. Oh, I’m tired.

The ugly: I had a leg cramp on Friday night. It was the worst pain I have ever had in my life. I woke M up because I was crying and shouting. Yes, I’m a crier, but I’m a quiet crier (you know, ugly scrunched up face and lots of tears, but no noise). I was yelling because of the pain. That finalized my plans for at least one epidural. Has anyone had a leg cramp like that AND given birth? I can’t imagine a pain worse than the pain I felt Friday night. And I’m pretty sure that was nothing compared to giving birth.

The Usual

I had a good weekend of Christmas parties and shopping. My Mother in Law took me to a maternity store and I didn’t get chased out of the building. I now have enough shirts to last me a week and my Mother in Law is going to wrap up two things for my birthday and Christmas. I think she had more funs hopping than I did! We laughed about the maternity underwear. When I giggled and asked if I would actually grow out of my undies, a lady in the dressing room shouted “YES!” Then we headed over to Babies R Us to walk around and see how the local store compares to others I’ve been to. It was fine, but I don’t think we’ll actually register at that store. My mom wants us to go to Delaware and register there with her helping us.

Ok, onto my fears for tomorrow. I could write ten pages about it, but I’ll just sum it up for you since I've said all of this a million times. I’m afraid… I’m not feeling much movement (and said movement could just be gas)… I’m not getting any bigger… I’m not gaining any weight… I’m sure tomorrow could be the worst day of my life followed by the worst birthday ever and I’m going to have to cancel Christmas. What else is new with me? Send prayers by overnight mail to Baltimore, MD at 8 am tomorrow morning. Thanks!

Update, 10 am Monday: I am feeling more movement this morning, so I'm calmer than I have been before other appointments. You can still send those prayers and hopes for tomorrow, though!!!

Stupid clothes

I have a love/hate relationship with shopping. I love shopping for *stuff* like holiday decorations (I LOVE holidays) and silly gifts, but I’m not a huge fan of shopping for clothes. I don’t fit in anything. Short legs, long torso, big on top (which is nice for some things), ugly ankles, etc. I did an awesome job yesterday, though. I got 11 new shirts (2-3 for work, the rest are casual), 2 belts and a pack of socks. Most of my casual clothes are t-shirts (I’m almost 30!) and I needed some nicer things to wear. I’m happy with what I got, I’m wearing a new shirt today and I feel cute.

However… there’s always a however. I saw a pregnant woman in the parking lot and got mad that I was shopping for normal clothes. You know those cute, flowy shirts that are all loose in the waist and look really adorable on skinny girls? Well, they look pretty dumb on a big-chested girl who used to be pregnant. They looked ok, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to wear any of them. They made me sad just to put on – how could I wear that in public? I know this is kind of self absorbed, but when people see me they will feel bad for me because it will look like I’m wearing maternity clothes for no reason. So everything I bought is kind of form fitting. No loose shirts for me!