Baby W's Birth Story

This took forever, but I didn't want to forget a thing. It's rough to stay away from this little face for too long, so most of this was written with my foot rocking a car seat and that little face giving me dirty looks whenever I stopped! Now he is snoring!

Things are going pretty great now. He's eating a ton and gaining weight like a crazy guy. Nursing is exhausting and I can see why people give up. Nipple sheilds are my savior - I have inverted nipples! Who knew! That does not mean they are innies, it means they retract when I squeeze my boob. He's sleeping great and has a fun little personality. This is wonderful.

So here's the birth part of the birth story. It's long and doesn't even begin to describe they whole experience.

We woke up around 6 am to get ready for the induction. I had cheerios and water for breakfast. It wasn’t very satisfying. I wanted to eat a lot, but the instructions I had said to eat lightly that morning. I should have ignored that! I went to the bathroom shortly before leaving the house and saw that I lost my mucus plug. Hooray! Labor would happen in a week or two!

We arrived at the hospital around 8 am and I was in a room and hooked up to the monitors by 8:10. The weather outside the window was grey and steamy – we were looking out over a bunch of roof vents. M was freezing and I was sweating. The baby’s heart rate stayed in the 130s and 140s and I was so relaxed knowing it was ok and I would be seeing my baby soon! My IV went in at 9:12 and Pitocin started at 10:10. They upped the Pitocin drip at noon and stripped my membranes. I believe I was up to 3 cm at the time and the contractions were barely noticeable. We watched HGTV for a while and read. I tried to nap, but I was so excited. M and my mom got some lunch and ate it in front of me. The nurses kept saying that I could eat whatever I wanted as soon as the baby was here. I wanted everything I saw advertised on the TV.

My contractions started getting more intense around 1:45. They were getting painful and coming in regular waves. I decided to hold off on the epidural a little longer. Then I started crying through contractions and my nose would get stuffed up (I was still recovering from my awful cold!) and I wouldn’t be able to breathe and I’d start coughing. Those three things would send me into a panic. We decided I needed some pain medication at 3:00. I had a student do my epidural, but a real anesthesiologist was there with her. M and my mom were sent out of the room (that made me sad) and I was left with the nurse. She did a good job of calming me down and getting me into the position I needed. I am grateful for her doing that. The worst part of the whole process was the numbing needle. Everything else was painless (except for the contractions I had while they were working on me). I also got the catheter put in and that broke my water fully. It was gushes and gushes and felt gross.

The epidural was great for about 2 hours. Then it wasn’t great anymore. I was having strong contractions that I could feel down my right leg. We learned that epidurals are gravity fed afterwards… I had been propped up on a pillow at some point for some reason, so the medicine didn’t go all the way to the right side. Bummer.

At some point, the alarm for the epidural pump kept going off saying there was a kink in the line. I sat up and they inspected the whole thing, but no one could find the problem. Hearing that alarm go off was driving me nuts!

Around 7:30, I decided I wanted to push. They checked and I was close to 10 cm, so I just had to wait for the doctor. Someone opened the epidural pump and saw that the kink in the line was inside the pump, so that got fixed. The medicine wasn’t at 100%, but at least it was something. I could feel that I was having contractions, but they weren’t crazy painful. I was also scared out of my mind. M and my mom were right by my side holding my legs in the position I wanted and giving me love.

The doctor showed up and we were pushing. It took a few tries to get the hang of it and then I was an expert. You know how I knew I was an awesome pusher? Because I pooped the ENTIRE time - with every push. The poor nurse. I could feel it. It was funny and gross. Mike said it was not as funny as I thought. At some point I told the nurse to shut up. The blood pressure cuff would tighten during the contraction and I would lose the ability to push. I was sweating like crazy and my last push with every contraction turned into a scream. I pushed with the handle bars, I pushed holding my own legs, I pushed with the tug of war. I pushed for over 3 hours. No dice. I could tell when the head was close because M and my mom would get so excited and tell me to keep pushing. But he wouldn’t come out. The doctor finally called it off. I was getting tired and the baby couldn’t be having too much fun, either. The heart rate stayed wonderful for the entire time, so that was good to know. They checked out the OR and we had to wait for an emergency c-section to finish before I could go in.

At this point, M got pretty upset. I wasn’t afraid or anything, but I imagine it’s pretty traumatic to see someone you love go through all this at once. That 1-hour (plus) wait was rough. I still had contractions and the baby’s head felt like it was going to explode out of my butt. I made the nurse reassure me that I didn’t have hemorrhoids. She said I didn’t. That made me feel better. So the contractions were killing me and M took pictures. We have a great one of me in pain and him all dressed in scrubs and smiling.

I went into the OR first. M had to wait for me to be completely numbed up before he could come in. I remember them sticking me with sharp things to check my numbness. I kept feeling it. They were surprised and just gave me more drugs. Then I was very happy and very numb. Suddenly, M was next to me. I was happy to see him. Then I looked over towards the baby area and I could see a small hand reaching up into the air. I had no idea the baby had even been born. I could not believe what I was seeing. M told me it was a boy and just cried. I just remember being so happy. After a few checks, M was able to hold him while I got sewn up. I could feel little tugs, but nothing bad. Who cared what they were doing to me. I had a son! My husband was holding our baby! M got pretty emotional (who wouldn’t!). I think it took more than 45 minutes to get me all back together. We just looked at out little boy. He was wide awake and so beautiful.

The nurses put him in my arms to get me back to recovery. I cried the whole time. We got back to my room and M went to get the grandparents from the lobby. He didn’t tell them anything except that we were fine and happy. They walked in and I introduced them to their grandson. The grandmas screamed and cried. I cried. M took the baby into the room alcove to meet everyone while the nurses finished some stuff with me. They pushed on my belly some more and changed some pads and got me ready to leave labor and delivery.

W had to go to the nursery at 2 hours old. I hated seeing him go. I wasn’t allowed to try to nurse him (it makes sense now – so many drugs!). I also could not have anything to eat or drink. I had to beg for ice chips. They tasted like heaven. Once I was able to lift my butt with my own power, I was moved to post partum where I would stay for the next few days.

We're Home!

[adorable picture removed]

[family picture removed]

Hi Everybody! I can't post much, but I wanted to say thanks for all the congratulations!



W was born at 12:10 am on May 19th. He is 8 lb, 6 oz and 21 inches long. He is a dream come true. I had a long labor with 3 hours of pushing when my doctor decided it was time to stop. When she went in with the C-Section, he was stuck with his head and shoulder all wedged together. He came out screaming and is a very healthy little boy.



We had some issues with feeding, he was so big and my milk wasn't coming in. We supplemented with some formula (with an SNS system - look it up - pretty cool) and it looks like I had some of the real stuff today. I'll have the full story at some point. I can't go up and down stairs a lot and the computer is int he basement, but I'll get it ALL on here.



Thank you so much for all the support and love. I can't wait to catch up with everyone else.



xoxoxo

He has arrived!

Hello, all! Cheryl's friend here! So happy to have some great news to share. Cheryl had a baby boy named W at 12:10 am May 19th. He was 8lbs 7oz. Based on some late text messages, I believe she had a c-section and is doing fine.

Cheryl wanted all her bloggy friends to know that her new buddy arrived as soon as possible. I am so happy for them. Cheryl and M will be wonderful parents to this little guy and we love them so much!!!

Away we go!

We're getting ready to leave for the hospital. I can't believe the day is here. One year ago today my world was ending and today I have a whole new beginning.

I'm the happiest girl in the world.

40 Weeks and 4 Days

I don't have anything new to say, just checking in to say that I have nothing to say. I always get excited when bloggie friends are close to (or past) the due date.

I do have a buddy lined up to let you guys know when the big event is complete. We must be the only people on the planet without iphones or laptops. Maybe that's a good thing...

40 Weeks and 2 Days

Four more wake-ups until induction. I'm scheduled for 8 am Tuesday morning and it can't get here fast enough.

After this post, I'm taking myself for a walk. I don't have any fears that the baby will start coming out while I'm walking, so I'm ok with going while home alone. I feel dumb that I used to worry about that.

I don't have much else to talk about. The baby is moving fine and I'm cranky and uncomfortable. My Father in Law gave me a nasty, sinus-y cold. So I'm kind of grateful that we don't have a baby right now. When my MIL found out that I got sick, she went ape-shit on FIL. You know that scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie's mom asks him where he heard the F word and he blames it on Flick (or Swartz... I can't remember)? And Ralphie's mom calls Flick's mom and you hear Flick's mom start beating him with the phone? That's what happened to my FIL yesterday. Poor man. It's not like he was trying to give me a cold. Now she's all doom and gloom about M getting sick, but mostly about her getting sick and not being able to touch the baby.

The thing with this cold is that now I feel all protective. No one is coming near our little family without a doctor's note saying they are healthy. And maybe I'll make everyone wear surgical masks. I'm absolutely in misery and I'm 30 years old. Imagine being 30 hours old and getting your first head cold.

So that's my update. I'm cranky. I'm sick. I'm still pregnant.

40 Weeks

Hi! It's my due date! Where's that baby???

The good: I've made it to a fully cooked little (big?) baby! We're both healthy and happy. One of us is a little too happy... I am fully prepared to have a child in this house. I have cereal now.

The bad: Well, it's my due date and the baby is still in my belly. That's not why I was counting down to today!

The ugly: Me. I'm not in too bad shape, but I know poor M must think I'm gross. I'm just really a huge lump of sweat and farts that has to pee a lot. He's being nice and pushing my butt to help me get off the couch. But I'm gross and I know it.

The Appointment:
I did not gain any weight this week. This is the first thing I've had that I can find on my "what happens before labor list" that we get in childbirth class. The Drill Sergent told us that we would stop gaining weight or loose a little right before we have the baby. I am pretending that it doesn't matter that this was a morning appointment and I usually am in there right after lunch.

I measured myself with the tape before the doctor got in there because they never tell me where I am. It said 39 weeks. M said that means I have another week. I told him to never talk to me again. Then the doctor came in. She said I measured on time. I am 3-4 cm dilated and the baby is "way up there." So that's progress and I know I won't have to worry about going to the hospital and having them tell me I'm at a 1. That would suck.

I asked her about work and told her I stopped going on Friday. She said to just leave the disability forms at the front desk and they'll get them filled out for me. That's a great thing. Now I won't feel (semi)guilty about not working this week. And I can get another week out of my very crappy short term disability.

Then we started talking induction. I wanted to go as soon as possible. She said Tuesday. One of us is a doctor, so that person wins. I am currently waiting for a phone call from the nurse to get that scheduled.

Then for the fun! I got a Non Stress Test, which was awesome. I got to curl up in a huge comfy recliner and listen to the baby's heart beat for 20 minutes. M got to sit with me on a wooden chair. He had to pee, but he was afraid he'd miss something. So he just sat with me the whole time. I called my mom so she could hear the monitor and she liked it. The doctor took a look at the chart and pronounced us good. The heart beat was steady the whole time.

Next was an ultrasound to check the fluid. The baby looks SO different now. I couldn't tell what anything was, not even the head. We were on an old machine, so you can't really see much anyway, but she measured the fluid pockets and checked the position. Everything is perfect.

I guess I couldn't ask for anything more. We're both doing great, so there is no need to induce me now. That's a good thing (I keep telling myself). And with this much dilation... I could still go at any time (right?).

The emotional stuff: So, May 18th (Tuesday, induction day) is exactly one year since we found out our baby died. The worst day of my entire life. I could be leaving the hospital with a new baby one year after leaving with no baby. This is kind of hard for me to take. I told M I didn't really want the baby born on the 18th or 19th because those are bad days for me. But I also think that maybe it will be ok... I mean, it's like having a baby on Sept 11... it brings some good back into that day. Something positive.

The Waiting

I'm happy to say that I'm not bored out of my mind. I am enjoying these days of relaxing and cleaning at a slow pace. This morning I am going to give the kitchen a good cleaning and do some vacuuming. Then the house will be as clean as it can get (except where I look down right now and see where M tracked leaves in from the grill last night... men!).

I had one "contraction" feeling thing this morning at 5:45. But still no other signs that anything is happening.

M and I feel like we're getting ready for a camping trip, but we don't know when we're leaving. We've stocked the house with non-perishable items and I'll make a trip to the store again today or tomorrow to get a few more things. We have enough meat in the freezer to last 3 weeks. Does it matter that we live 1/4 mile from the grocery store? That my mom will be here with us? That we have M's family 5 minutes away and amazing neighbors who would get us anything we need? It's a complete unknown out there. Our lives are going to explode with change this next week and we have no idea what to expect. I deal with it by cleaning. M deals with it by... um... not really doing anything different.

So here's to waiting and drinking all the raspberry herbal tea I can handle. At least all the sugar I put in it is keeping the baby busy!

39 week appointment

So why is it that the girl who weighs me always thinks I weigh less then 150 pounds when I get on the scale. I am 2 pounds lighter than my husband right now. I always have to tell them to bump it up another notch. No way is that 100 pound notch going to work.

I peed all over my hand this time. It is the worst I've ever done. The problem was that I'm so hot and sweaty that I didn't really notice. I got very little in the cup.

We had a long wait in the room today and we didn't have much to talk about. M doesn't have much to do at work (good thing!) and we haven't been doing anything really interesting. So I just sat there and sweated all over everything. Once the doctor had me lay back for the check, I had to stand up to peel the paper from my butt! M helped me get the little shreds off after she left. He thought this was the funniest thing ever.

The big news is... no change! Still 2 cm, still 80% effaced. We are to walk, drink raspberry herbal tea (I hate tea), and have lots of sex. If I make it to my appointment on Wednesday, we'll talk induction.

39 Weeks

The Good: I have a lot of good this week. I’m more comfortable now than I was last week, which is weird. The baby changed positions – it had been facing my right side and seems to now be facing my back. So I’m balanced now, not carrying the baby all on my left side. Rolling over in bed is a LOT easier and I’m sleeping more than 2 hours at a time. I have 3 days (including today) left of work.

The Bad: I’m mad at everything. Time is crawling.

The Ugly: I cut myself shaving this morning. It’s not like I was using a real razor or anything, I was using a little trimmer, but I guess those things aren’t completely safe when you cannot see what you’re doing. Eh, oh well. It’s not like I did a good job anyway. And I know the doctor doesn’t care.

I walked 2 miles last night and then drank a big glass of pineapple juice. I was in a little bit of pain after the walk, but nothing that felt like it could be labor. It was more like “I’m going to head butt you in the privates for moving around so much!” pain.

I don’t get to walk tonight because M invited some neighbors over for dessert. They had us over for dinner several weeks ago and he feels that we have to reciprocate ASAP (or we never will). At least I talked him out of making dinner for them. We’re going to have ice cream cones on the deck. These are very nice people with a 7 month old. But I just want to sit on the couch and be cranky.

And thank you so much for all your supportive comments over the past week. I seem to jump all over the place in my moods and you guys understand. I love you for that.

One year ago

It's so weird to think back to myself a year ago. May 4, 2009 was the last time I saw my little boy alive on the ultrasound screen. It was such a great day. I remember calling our parents and squealing about how cute he was. We knew he'd here in November. We started telling everyone. I now know that he passed away a few days later, while we were still sharing the happy news.

I am not where I thought I would be now. I'm not sure how I'll feel as the actual anniversary arrives. I hope it turns out a lot like his due date, where I felt that he would want me to be happy with all the great news I was having. I hope that I'll feel at peace on May 18th and feel him looking down at us as a new little family of three. He won't be the one we'll be hugging and holding and loving, but he'll be in our hearts.

Of course, I still have a tiny voice telling me I'm not out of the woods yet. This baby still has to make it to the day it (finally) decides to be born. Then the delivery has to go well. And all the other unknowns have to line up. I'm afraid. But hopeful. And looking forward to something great.

Done cooking

My craziest fear is about to happen....

Behold the popped belly button! Gross!

Waiting

9 days until my due date.

I’m starting to believe I will be pregnant forever. This is where my complete lack of patience is starting to show. Every time I have any kind of little pain, I wonder if this is the beginning. It never is.

My plan for the weekend was to walk all over the place and do all kinds of labor inducing things. M would not participate in the ones he would be useful for… he said the baby isn’t ready yet and blah blah blah.

I have lots of little things from the weekend:

I met up with an old friend for dinner on Friday. I hadn’t seen him since 2006! We had Pho (Vietnamese soup made out of salt and beef and noodles). We were sitting around talking when I realized that my feet were exploding out of my shoes. Salty dinner plus hot day…. Oops!

We went to a sheep and wool festival on Saturday with the neighbors. It was a great time. I had Pit Lamb. Do you know how good Pit Beef is? Multiply that by 100. Wow. I did get to walk all afternoon and I wasn’t even that miserable! I had to wear normal shorts (I’m not about to go buy any more clothes!) and I had trouble getting them over my thighs. I did not see any pregnant sheep. Could you imagine being pregnant with something that has hooves???

Sunday was too hot to go outside, so no walking. Maybe tonight?

My bag is packed with a list of last-minute items sitting next to it. All of our windows are painted. My to-do list is still full of tiny things, but they are not anything that needs to be done before the baby comes.

Just waiting. Trying not to complain!