The Doppler Post

First off - M is NOT a carrier of any of the common forms of Cystic Fibrosis. We will know the results for the other 1500 forms of the mutation in about 2 weeks. We are down to a 12% chance that he will be a carrier.

Now I will start talking about a Fetal Doppler.

I don’t know what to do. I’m nervous all the time. I know lots of you have Dopplers and you like them. They keep you calm and happy. AND you get to hear that little heartbeat all the time!

My plan would be to order it near the end of next week so I would get it close to Saturday (Oct 31). I have my NT scan on Monday morning (the 2nd). I would try to find the heartbeat on Sunday evening. If I didn’t find it, I would already be going to the doctor in the morning (after spending the night crying with fear). If I did find it, I would be relaxed for the appointment.

On second thought, maybe I would just wait until after the appointment.

My rule would be to only look in the morning, just in case I don’t hear anything. That way I can call the doctor if I need to.

But.

But what happens to me when I can’t find a heartbeat? I don’t know if I can deal with that. I don’t like the idea of it. I don’t know if I could deal with the waiting. What if I call the doctor and they tell me they can’t see me just because the Doppler doesn’t hear anything? I KNOW what it’s like to search for a heartbeat and not hear anything except my own heart racing with fear. And I was with a doctor who was trying to keep me calm.

I will need to talk this over with M. He will probably try to talk me out of it.

The 10 days between my NT scan (assuming the NT scan goes well) and my next OB appointment will be 100% scarier than the days leading up to the first appointment. I think they will be the scariest days of my life so far. I feel like having a Doppler could help me through it, but I don’t know if I could deal with the nervousness EVERY SINGLE time I pick up the machine to use it.

So, do I stress out majorly for a full 10 days with it all coming to a head on the 12th? Or do I stress out a little less every day for 10 days? Have you had an experience of not finding a heartbeat on a home Doppler? What happened when/if you called the doctor? Do you read a blog where this happened (with good or bad results)? I am 10 weeks, 3 days today. I will be 12 weeks exactly on Monday, November 2nd.