33 Weeks and Nesting

I went crazy this weekend. Good crazy, and I'm proud of myself. I built a bookshelf and organized the family room. Our family room was overrun with books. This isn't a bad thing, but I had no space for all the books. W has a bookshelf in his room, but we try to limit that one to books that are appropriate for bedtime. The downstairs books are everything else (and we do have storybooks down there, too). W LOVES books. And I love that he loves books. The main problem was that he couldn't find any of them because we kept them in a toy box and in our end tables. It was a cluster-f of books. Now they are all on a shelf and I'm thrilled. He loves it, too. The best part was that I got rid of all the terrible books (not to knock sesame street, but they produce some awful things). We read so much this weekend!

In the process, I weeded out the toys that W doesn't play with anymore and now we have more room for the baby stuff that will take over.

The crazy thing was that I started building the shelf at 8 pm on Friday night. That's not my style. Usually I'm laying on the couch nodding off by then.

On Sunday, I cleaned our powder room from top to bottom. I scrubbed the floors. The room had been smelling a little like pee. I blame the 3 year old. I wiped up the floor when he missed, but I guess it just wasn't enough. Now the room smells normal.

That's not the way I've been acting lately. My typical pregnancy cleaning routing is to do the bare minimum, maybe a little less. Now I want to clean all the things! I want to organize the pantry! This is better than steroids!

Baby news: 

Most exciting: We have a date! The repeat c-section is scheduled for 10 am on August 7th. That is less than 7 weeks away. I cannot wait. Part of me hopes that we go a little earlier for the VBAC, but a bigger part of me loves the idea of having all of this scheduled. I sent an email to my parents, inlaws and SIL to let them know the details and tell them about the timetable so they will know what to expect. I don't want to leave anyone with the impression that they can come in with us in the morning and then get to see the baby at 10:05.

Least exciting: I had my insane leg cramp on Wednesday night. This happened with W, too (oddly enough, right at the same point in the pregnancy).  I woke up in the middle of a dream (I was pumping milk into a ziploc bag in my car... what?) and my left calf had completely seized up. Eventually, M woke up enough to realize what was happening and he got out of bed to stretch my muscle just like a trainer on the sidelines. He is my hero. It wasn't my first leg cramp of this pregnancy, but all of the others have just needed a quick stretch to go away.

Still less exciting: I got the Tdap shot at my appointment on Wednesday. My arm stopped being sore over the weekend. 

W news:
We're on potty training phase 4. This is the part no one talks about. W is potty trained for pee and poop. He is doing very well at night. However, he will not pull his own pants down or up. I am trying to prepare for my post-baby self and getting him to do this little step would be a great help. But he just looks at me and says he can't do it (he can*). So I'm bribing him. Pull down your pants and then pull them back up... you get an M&M. If I have to help (minus showing him the front and back and final adjustments), no M&M. It's not working very well.

*We were visiting friends and W was upstairs playing with his girlfriend. The girl came downstairs and told her mom that her dress was all wet. They had taken themselves to the bathroom. W was standing on the stool washing his hands. His pants were mostly back on, just very crooked. He did everything on his own.

32 Weeks and Swollen

My feet are wide and puffy. I'm down to one pair of work shoes (and they really aren't nice shoes). They have always been a little big. Now they are snug. Outside of work, I wear either the same shoes or flip flops. I didn't have this last time, but it also wasn't this hot. It wasn't summer! I really like my feet and it makes me sad to see them so puffy.

I am sitting at my desk right now with my legs spread so I can reach my keyboard. It's not pretty. My shirt also has a hole in the armpit. I don't think any one can see it.

I have some issues I want to talk about. I'm going part time at work after this baby and my MIL will be watching him/her three days a week. I am grateful that I get to do this, but I'm also afraid. It means we have to be very careful about our spending. We can do it! My main fear is one that people bring up a lot, but in a different context.

I had no problem taking W to daycare. I know lots of people say they could never leave their child with a stranger or that they want their baby to know who Mommy is. W has thrived in daycare. He knows I'm his mommy and he's always known that. At daycare he is one of many kids. He is loved, but he is not THE MOST IMPORTANT person to the ladies at daycare. We've had no issues with bonding and love in our house.

Now, with baby #2, W will continue to go to daycare 5 days a week. We decided to keep him full time because he is used to it and he is now in the preschool program. I look at daycare as school now. I want him there for the school part every day (and the nap because he has a real problem napping at home - he needs a nap). As for the baby, M and I will be splitting the day on Monday. I'll be working Tuesday - Thursday for short days and then I'll be home on Friday. MIL will be watching the baby Tuesday - Thursday. I've decided I'm ok with that.

I am absolutely ok with the quality of care from my MIL. She will be attentive and follow any instructions I have. She will probably do a better job that I would. My ridiculous fear is that my baby won't know or won't want Mommy after having my MIL around. That is why I didn't want her to do 5 days a week. Baby will be SO loved and showered with attention and care. If I continues to work full time, MIL would be with the baby about 50 hours a week. I would be with the baby (assuming 8 hours of me sleeping a night) 62 hours a week - less if you factor in chores and being with W and the amount of time the baby spends sleeping. It's possible that the baby would have more 1-on-1 time with MIL than with me. Obviously, the baby would think that MIL was mommy. I can't deal with it. My jealousy about this was stressing me out big time. It is crazy. I talked to M about this and he couldn't believe this was bothering me so much. My logical mind knows it is stupid. But it's there. It is the reason that we are doing this 3 day a week schedule. I will have more time with my baby than MIL will have. My baby will know that I am mommy.

We'll do this schedule for about a year. Then we want to transition the baby into daycare. We noticed W really benefiting from daycare around that time.

I'm very excited about the time I'll have with the baby. I'm also excited about having that Friday to get a *little* done around the house so we'll have more family time on the weekends. M is excited about his Monday afternoons with the baby. It's going to be great.

31 Weeks and Sideways

Based on my extensive medical training, I think this baby is transverse. It's pretty uncomfortable, but not any more uncomfortable than a baby that is head down. Just different uncomfortable. I don't have any feet in my ribs, which is a plus. Here's why I think that:
1. I don't have any feet in my ribs. 
2. I feel a butt (or head) sticking out of my left side. 
3. I feel a head (or a butt) sticking out of my right side. 

I have trouble sleeping on my side because I am either laying on the baby's head or it's butt. Also, I think the baby is facing downwards because it is weird sitting up with feeling all kinds of movement all over my underbelly. I rarely feel any movements at the top of my belly. I don't think this is a big deal at the moment. 31 weeks is still plenty of time for a baby to shift positions. Some of my doctors feel around to find the baby's position and some don't. The last time a doctor did this, she couldn't tell where the baby was. It's little butt hides sometimes. 

I had an appointment last Wednesday and all was fine. We filled out the paperwork for the cord blood donation. I hope that works out. Then we talked about the scheduled c-section. We picked a date so I could get the same doctor that did my previous c-section. The date is August 7th. I haven't told people this yet because it is not "officially" scheduled yet. Our families will go crazy and start taking days off and all that as soon as they know anything. M is very happy to have this date, he wants to just go in and have the surgery and be done. I, the one who has to actually HAVE the surgery, am feeling pretty good about it too. I had a phase where I was going to do really try for a VBAC. But I never felt like I was going to go out of my way or lie about due dates or change doctors to get one. It will be nice to experience a regular birth. But it will also be nice to have everything worked out and the baby here after a full night of sleep. 

My birth experience with W was rough. Recap: In the hospital at 8 am to be induced, uncomfortable labor around 2 pm, crappy epidural, pushing by 7:30, stopped pushing around 10:30, c-section at midnight, "sleeping" from 2:30 to 4:30 and then awake for the day. Full story. 


Absolutely, utterly exhausting. 

It led to an emotional and upsetting post-partum hospital stay. I really, really, really don't want to go through that again. 

One thing that I kind of gloss over in the birth story is that I had no idea when W was actually born. I had no "IT'S A BOY!" moment that I had been waiting for. I never saw him covered in goo. My epidural wasn't cutting it during labor and it wasn't good enough to completely numb me for the surgery. The anesthesiologist gave me some strong stuff to get through the cutting and it made me black out for that part. Yes, I'm happy I didn't feel it. I don't blame him. He did the right thing. 

But that moment... I really want that moment. I feel like I'll get that with the scheduled surgery. I know I'd get it (and more) with a VBAC, but I feel like it I could always end up back in the OR anyway. And that is why I'm ok with the CBAC. 

30 Weeks and Counting Down

30 weeks is a sort of milestone. I'm down to single digits in my baby countdown. And the countdown is on. I remember this is when people start telling you to "sleep while you can" and you want to punch them. Seriously. It's still true. I wake up 3 times a night (minimum) to pee. Then I wake up every hour to move myself around, which is not easy. I have to adjust the ceiling fan. I have to roll myself over. I have to move my body out of the pool of sweat. Then it starts thundering outside. I swear I slept more after W was born than I did in the weeks leading up to it. Also: Every time I sneeze, I get round ligament pain. 

The baby has hiccups right now!

I'm making a huge to-do list today. I've been telling myself that we'll get going on the baby stuff when we hit 30 weeks. And here we are. 30 weeks and I have tools piled up in the baby's room. I've done zero things in preparation for the baby. We've been doing other stuff that we wanted to get done, but are not exciting (like replacing exhaust fans). I can't wait to see all those little clothes again. I think that will make this sink in a little more! 

I'd like to add that yesterday marked 4 years since I started this blog. Thank you to all of the friends I have made along the way. You have really made a difference in my life and I'm grateful knowing you are out there!