Baby W's Post-partum story

One thing I didn't mention in my last post - The doctor talked to me after the C-section. I would have needed it no matter what. He was kind of stuck in my pelvis with his chin and shoulder wedged up together and he wasn't going to come out that way. So the surgery wasn't a result of pushing too soon or the induction. It was all about his position.

This is kind of jumbled. I tried to keep it organized, but I honestly can't remember everything that happened during our hospital stay. I remember being tired and walking around with my nipples exposed and wearing mesh panties.

So I left off right with my little boy being born and being sent to post-partum. We arrived in our room around 3:30 am Wednesday morning and I have no idea what happened for a while. I know W arrived back around 5 and I was able to try to nurse him for the first time. It worked! It wasn't great and he didn't eat a lot, but he did what he was supposed to and I was satisfied that he got something. The nurses helped me and stuck around until he was done. They put him back in the little bassinet while he was still awake (around 6 am) and I could see his little face through the plastic (good job designers on making those things clear!). I just stared at him for the next half hour until he fell asleep. My mom left around 6:30 to go home and rest. M was passed out on the little pull out bed and I was just there, knowing I needed to sleep... But how could I?

I'll talk about my medical care in the c-section post - I want to get it all in one place, but I couldn't really move at all the first day. I had to shout at M to wake up to give me the baby because I couldn't poke him or reach anything to throw at him (M, not the baby). M's mom spent the day with us just for moral support. She helped M with the diapers and kind of guided us on the basic steps. We were tired. Both sets of my parents came in to visit. We had doctors all over the place. It was a huge blur. M and I had no idea what day it was.

Some of the nurses were great and some were not. I was not thrilled with the baby nurses. I understand that the baby is their priority, but they treated me like a feed bag. None of them cared what I had just been through. This sounds whiny, but when I cried at the thought of a baby nurse showing up in my room, something must be wrong. In fact, I'm tearing up a little now and it's 3 weeks later. I had one yell at me because I wasn't nursing enough. When I told her about the last time I fed him (3 hours earlier) she said "Well that's your problem" in a very agitated way. Then I spent the rest of the night having my vitals taken every hour because I had elevated blood pressure. I had them yell at me because I had the lights too low. I had another one yell because I was feeding him when they needed to take him to the nursery. I KNOW and AGREE that my baby was the most important person, but I wish I had been treated like a person, too...

On our last night (what was supposed to be our second to last night), W got dehydrated. My milk wasn't in yet and he was a big baby, so he needed more food. We spent the whole night awake. All three of us were crying off and on. By the time the morning came, we were all stressed out and scared. I don't even really remember what happened. I knew I wasn't giving him anything. His mouth was dry and he would only sleep for a few minutes at a time. M would hold him, I would hold him... nothing would work. I said something to my nurse about wanting to supplement him and she came back with a bottle of formula. I politely refused. But I wonder what would have happened if I had been a younger, less educated woman? Would I have taken the bottle and then given up on breastfeeding before I even tried? What if I didn't know my options? How many other moms give up at this point? I was upset and crying even more about this. I'm the type to always follow rules and listen to people in authority - it was hard for me to say no to this nurse! I did eventually get a hold of a baby nurse who was great (the only one I liked) and she set me up with a SNS (Supplemental Nursing System). I used it at the hospital and at home until Sunday (Day 5) when I finally started getting some milk. They also gave him some formula in the nursery to rehydrate him. I don't know if they used a bottle or not. I don't want to know. All I know is that I cried a ton and felt like I didn't deserve to have a baby. I felt like a failure. Once we started the supplementing and he was calm again, we were all much better. And ready to get out of the hospital.

Saturday morning (Day 4), I started telling every person that came into our room that I was ready to leave. We were going home that day. I couldn't take one more day in that room. M and I had been there since Tuesday morning (he'd been home twice to shower and get stuff). I was tired of getting woken up by people coming in constantly to check me or the baby. I was tired of calling the nurse to give me medicine. I was tired of the bed and the low chairs. I wanted to be home and to get our life started! And it worked. We were discharged at 3 pm and home by 4.

I cried when I got home. W slept. It hasn't all been easy since then, but the good times are better than I imagined.