My first day back

This isn't really a commentary. More of a timeline.

3:40 am – Hear W sucking his fingers. Hope he falls back to sleep (and he does).
5:15 – Hear W sucking his fingers. Hope he wakes up soon (and he doesn’t).
5:40 – M wakes up and gets ready for work.
5:41 – Remember that today is back to work day. Try not to cry already.
6:10 – Get out of bed and have breakfast. Watch W roll around a little on monitor.
6:20 – Realize frozen milk bags did not thaw in fridge overnight. Panic.
6:21 – Put bags in cold water. They thaw in minutes. Unpanic.
6:30 – Get W’s lunch bag packed and kitchen cleaned up.
6:50 – W wakes up, change his diaper and wash his face. Cry a little on him.
6:59 – Feed W. Inspect his crevices to make sure he won’t be the dirty kid at daycare.
7:13 – W gives me the pouty lip, so I know he’s full. I cry a little because I won’t be nursing him until the evening.
7:15 – Pump and pack up that pumping bag. Pray I’m not forgetting anything.
7:30 – Shower and dressed.
7:45 – Get W dressed and ready. Try to get him to smile at me (unsuccessful) and cry.
7:50 – Pack up W and the car. W cries when I put him in the carseat, but giggles while I put on my shoes. I cry.
8:03 – Arrive at daycare. Keep calm.
8:05 – Take W out of carseat. Consider putting him back in and fleeing.
8:07 – Cry while trying to give ladies instructions. They already know all this stuff.
8:13 – Hug and kiss W. Cry.
8:14 – Give daycare more money than I will make this week.
8:20 – Get in car and cry. Call M. Cry.
8:30 – Arrive at work. Smile at coworkers. Don’t talk so I won’t cry.
8:31 – Set up pictures of W.
8:32 – Cry.
9:30 – Coworker asks what W is doing during the day. I cry.
10:00 – Call daycare. W is happy and finished his bottle.
10:10 – First pumping session. Success. No one walked in on me.
10:40 – Cry a little.
11:30 – Have to get a new tissue for a big cry.
12:49 pm – My chest hurts.
1:00 – Second pump and lunch. Pumping is making me sore.
2:20 – Count how many minutes left (190).
2:26 – Talk to M. Try not to cry. Fail.
2:31 – Stare at baby pictures.
2:52 – Call daycare. W liked the swing.
2:55 – Sit in desk chair and cry a little.
3:38 – Jealous of M who has already left work.
4:00 - Begin to wonder if W and M made it home ok.
4:03 - Last pumping session. I'm sore-er than before. Very happy I remembered to pack the Lansinoh!
4:28 - Call home and text M to see if they are home.
4:31 - M calls. They are home and happy. He gives me the rundown on W's pee and poop.
4:32 - Wish I was home.
5:21 - Daydream about going home.
5:27 - I think this day can be over. Pack up and leave. Hope I remember the milk in the fridge!