October 15th

Just like last year, October 15th is hitting me harder than I expected. But now I’m not just crying for me. I’m sad for all the moms (dads, too) who are still in the dark days of grieving. The parents who are still have fresh pain.

I’ve been reading almost every story on Faces of Loss/Faces of Hope. I can’t read all of them – it’s so much sadness packed into one place. Sometimes I have to skim to keep from crying at work. But I acknowledge each woman, each loss, each heartbreak. That’s why we post those stories. When I first was dealing with the pain of losing my baby, I spent so much time reading other people’s stories. It really did help to know that other people were out there and they had been through the same thing. They knew what I was feeling and some of them had gone on to have babies. It gave me hope. I put my story on the page and I have had a few girls reach out to me. I’ve reached out to some that have stories similar to mine. I love the idea of everyone posting in one place. I hate the idea that they have over 450 posts in less than 4 months.

I posted about today on facebook just in case someone I know is feeling like they are alone. I’m writing here on my blog and I’ll spend lots of time today with my Babycenter friends, remembering how we felt last year and how far we’ve come. And how so many of us are still struggling.

Lots of love and hugs today. So many posts will be reflecting on babies we barely got to meet. I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be a tearful day.