The follow up

I had my follow up-appointment on Friday morning. It was a good one. I got to leave my pants on. In fact, the entire appointment took place in the doctor’s office. I got to sit in a chair.

I arrived and they took my weight and blood pressure. My weight keeps creeping up, but whatever. I don’t care about that now. Then the nurse took me back to a regular exam room and asked me a few questions about the miscarriage. She asked me if she thought I passed everything. I told her I was pretty sure. I feel fine and the bleeding stopped. So she just had me sit on the table. Then I waited for a while. I could hear the appointment in the room next store. I heard the Doppler come on and I heard them search for the baby’s heartbeat. I had a few seconds of anger at the person who was having a great appointment. Then it turned to fear while I waited for them to find it and I prayed for that girl until I heard the right sound. Then I went back to being mad. The doctor came in to get me and took me back to her office. That made me feel better. It’s easier to ask questions when you are in a real chair.

I’d never met this doctor before. I wanted to meet with the doctor who did my c-section, but I would have had to wait until mid-November to see her. So I picked this one. She is new to the practice. She had already looked through my file. She told me that 4 miscarriages is too much. I agreed. I cried a little. She went through my records and we talked about all the tests I had done. We found out that I have already had my chromosomes checked. I didn’t know that was done, but I was happy to know that’s one less thing to worry about. I saw a picture of them. They looked normal, I guess. She gave me a referral to the Maternal-Fetal Medicine doctor and the genetic counselor. Then she went through and gave me a list of the questions I should ask both doctors. I don’t have the list with me, but I’ll outline all of them after the appointment. Then we talked about trying again. I am to call the office immediately and get a prescription for progesterone. Who knows if that’s the problem, but it’s a simple step to take. She also told me to wait until January. That made me sad, but she explained that the miscarriage risk is slightly higher in the months following a miscarriage. She wanted to rule out that for a reason. I understand and I guess we’ll wait.

I’m tired of waiting.

The big appointment is November 1^st at 9 am. M will be with me. We have to bring complete family histories of pregnancies and pregnancy problems. This means talking to our parents about this. It won’t be a problem from my mom. She already knows about this last one and will be more than willing to help. She’d come to the appointment if I wanted her there. I have to ask my father about it. I’ll do that all over email (later on today). I’m not sure how much he’ll know about his mom, but he might be able to ask his sisters about it. We also have to ask M’s mom for information about his family history. We know her mother had a lot of problems (and 6 living children). I’m sad that I have to drag all of those old feelings up. I’ll call her tonight to talk about it. I’m not sure how to frame this conversation. She knows about 3 of the 4. Do I just tell her about the last one? Do I just refer to “problems” or what? I’ll probably cry, which won’t make this any easier.