The First Post

I suppose I could start off with the story of me and what defines me and why I’m writing, but really I just need to get some things out first. Maybe I’ll continue writing and maybe this need to spill my guts won’t last more than a week.

Things that I will never get to do again:
1. See a pregnancy test and be filled with joy and certainty that I’ll have a baby in 9-ish months.
2. Tell people about a pregnancy and have them automatically think all those happy things. I’m sure their first thought will be “I hope this one works out” or “what will she do if she loses this one, too?”
3. See the joyful expressions from my mom and my mother in law and all those other women I love when they here I get pregnant.
4. Sit calmly in the waiting room of the OB office.

Things I will not get to do this year:
1. Decorate a huge belly like a pumpkin.
2. Spend warm summer nights lounging on the deck and dreaming about our baby.
3. Look at new moms with babies and smile and think about how that will be me in a few months.
4. Spend Thanksgiving full of joy and passing around an infant to family members.
5. Wear maternity pants to Thanksgiving dinner because no other pants fit and I want to eat everything in sight.
6. Take a picture of a sleeping baby in a stocking for my Christmas cards.

Things I get to do that I’m trying to get excited about, even though I wish I couldn’t do them:
1. Spend warm summer nights on the deck with a glass of wine.
2. See the my college team play nearby on the day after my due date.
3. Black Friday shopping with my best friends for the 15th-ish year in a row.
4. Go see New Moon as soon as it comes out.
5. Go to Scotland on a tour of castles with my husband.