Friends with Babies

One of my closest, most wonderful friends, R, had her second little girl yesterday. I’ve been friends with R since my first day of high school and she’s been everything you could ever want in a friend. Her first pregnancy ended before 6 weeks and she was devastated. I didn’t know what to do for her then and I probably wasn’t as supportive as I should have been. Looking back on that, I feel pretty bad.

She was the only person (besides M) who knew about our first pregnancy, and she was actually at my house when it happened. I didn’t tell her about it that morning, but I did later on and she kept checking on me and making sure I was doing ok. And the second time, she was still there and still rooting for me. All this time, she’s been pregnant.


I don’t have that normal jealousy/nauseous feeling when I think about her pregnancy. I’m not sure how I don’t, but the only feeling I have when thinking about her new baby and her pregnancy is happiness for her. She was wonderful about talking about the baby after I lost mine. I actually had to ask her for details, and then she gave me exactly the right amount. She’s amazing, and I’m lucky to have friends like her. I’m still not sure when I’ll go see her and the baby. I was worried that she would have a boy and I’d never visit, but with a girl I can see myself up there in a month or two. I’m not ready yet.

I have other, wonderful, supportive friends – and I wonder how a girl like me ended up with this great circle of girls. But, hey, I’m not complaining!

Back to me and my feelings… I told my MIL last night that our baby was a boy and I filled her in on all the blood tests I had. Then she started walking towards me. I actually yelled, “Don’t hug me, please!” but she still did. I tried so hard to keep myself from breaking down when I was telling her everything, but she kept at her goal of making me cry as much as possible. So I had to sit there sobbing for a while. The whole time, I could hear M and his brother talk about soccer and pretend we were normal.