An Accidental Surprise

Well, where to start? I’ve been trying to catch up on my Google Reader these past few days. You guys have been busy.

I do have a ton of pictures and a ton of things to say about my awesome trip, but that’s going to have to wait.

Of course I have guilty feelings about publishing this. I’m so sorry if reading this brings you any kind of pain. I’ve cried at the news that people are pregnant and I’ve cheered at the news. I hope you will cheer for me, but I understand the tears and I do wish you all the best.

I guess I’ll go right into it. We left for our trip to Scotland on Wednesday. I expected AF on Saturday, Sept 5. I had packed a ton of “supplies” because I didn’t want to have to find a store and use unfamiliar stuff. I’m very brand loyal and I don’t like the unexpected. On Saturday, nothing happened. That was fine, I decided with the time change and stress of travelling, I could be a little late.

On Sunday I was in denial. We stayed at a place that had pink toilet paper, so that tricked me.

On Monday I realized that something must be up with me. I told M that we needed to stop by a pharmacy. We were in Inverness (that is the city next to Loch Ness) that night and that’s enough of a city to have actual stores. I bought a 2 pack of Boots brand (think Rite-Aid) tests. I was still in denial. There’s no way. We didn’t touch each other at all during that open window, just like we had decided.

This is what I saw on Tuesday morning. Holy crap. These tests always confuse me, so the positive line is the vertical line in the square window. The control lines are the vertical line in the circle window and the faint horizontal line in the square window. I went to two different pharmacies to find the prenatal vitamins, folic acid and baby aspirin. I calmed down once I had everything.




Thursday was my first due date, we talked about it a little, but we were crazy busy and we were overwhelmed with this news. I highly recommend going somewhere on your due date. My mind was so full with the sightseeing that I couldn’t dwell on what we’d lost.

I thought I would be scared out of my mind. But, no… I would describe myself as completely numb. I refuse to think about the future. It’s not as hard as you would think. When my mind starts wondering, “how far along will I be…” I stop on specifically think about something else. It’s working great so far. I am taking this one pee break at a time.

I’m not even going to start with the fears I have about starting vitamins and folic acid late, going to the dentist, taking allergy medicines, and downing the whiskey!

The main reason I was in denial is the complete lack of symptoms. The last two times, I knew I was pregnant before the tests. My chest was aching at about 3.5 weeks. They are barely starting to hurt now, and it is just little twinges every few hours. I tell M each time I feel some pain and he looks reassured. Other than that, we don’t talk about it at all. I will now go back to not thinking about it. I’m going to call the doctor today at lunch and get my first appointment.

M left for Hawaii this morning. I’m 5 weeks today. I will pass my first milestone of 5 weeks and 3 days on Thursday. He comes home on Saturday. Due date is May 17th. Try not to think about it!!!