18 Weeks

Wait, really? 18 weeks? I never thought I would be here. I never thought I would actually have an anatomy scan scheduled. I feel like I’m on borrowed time. I feel like I’m really pregnant.

The good: I had lots of flutters last night. I couldn’t sleep because I was so happy. On Monday night, I had a kick (maybe). I started telling the kick how much I loved it and then realized that I might be pledging a lifetime of love to some gas. I’m showing a little. Like you can see my belly pushing out my sweater a little today. I saw my coworker glance at it and I wanted to dance.

The bad: I pee a lot. I wake up every hour or two during the night. I’m cranky at the end of the work day. I don’t care about any of these problems.

The ugly: I have a rash between my boobs because they are smooshed together all the time now. It might be time for some bigger bras. And lots of Gold Bond powder.

The scary stuff: I got my results back from the quad screen. Everything came back normal, so I’m going to stop worrying about spina bifida. I will now focus completely on CF and unexplained death. That’s cheerful! M is in the process of getting the rest of his gene checked for the CF deletion genes. It’s pretty hard to call your primary doctor out of the blue and request some off the wall blood test that needs to be sent to California. We’re having some trouble getting them to work with us. He’s calling again today and should get everything straightened out. I’m just happy that M agreed to do this. I know he doesn’t want to, but he understands my fears.

Normal life: My Mother in Law is taking me birthday shopping on Sunday for maternity clothes. Then we’re going to Babies R Us to poke around and giggle at all the baby stuff. This will be a little rough for me – I still feel like an impostor when I go in those places. Like the BRU police and going to spot me and chase me out of the store because I couldn’t possibly think I’ll be having a baby in May. I’ll get sent to the crazy house.

Today is my Grandma’s birthday. She would be 94. While I’m glad she’s not suffering anymore, I’m really missing her now. I’d love to have her around for this excitement. But I’ve decided that she’s got my two little ones up there with her already. She probably has her hands full!