We’ve started telling people. We told M’s friends at a football game on Saturday. I told my friend’s mom on Sunday. I told my coworkers this morning. We’re not making grand announcements. We’re just mentioning to people as we see them. Now I’m freaking out.
I KNOW this baby isn’t going to just up and die because I started telling people we’re pregnant. I know that is a crazy thought. I still have it. I’ve said this over and over, but last time we started telling and our baby was already dead.
I don’t want to tell M’s grandmother yet. She had some miscarriages and she took ours pretty hard. That little boy was going to be her first great-grandchild. Everyone had been waiting for him (I found out that they watched my every move towards the bar since we got married). I KNOW it’s not my fault, but I feel like I let her down. I don’t want that to happen again. I told my MIL about this and she hugged me and started to cry (so what else is new?). I’m not waiting because I’m upset. I’m waiting because she was so upset. I don’t want her to worry like I’ve been worrying. She knows what it’s like.
So I have a question. When does this pregnancy stuff start flying by? I keep hearing “Oh, enjoy it! It’ll be over so fast! Pregnancy is so great!” Every second is like an hour for me. October was 6 months long. November isn’t going any faster. The only time that goes by fast is the time I get for sleeping.
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6 comments:
LOL about the time. I absolutely agree that October was six months and time is NOT getting any faster. It is a huge step telling people and naturally that would make you nervous. I have not told my mom and don't intend to do so until we make it to 12 weeks. Although she hasn't suffered like M's grandmother, she takes on everyones pain and was just so upset after the last loss. I don't want to put her through that again.
I know that feeling. I'm technically 5 weeks pregnant today, and I feel like I MUST be at least 8. I think that comes from the whole two week wait and stuff. OY.
Congratulations on starting to tell people. If anything happens (which it won't!) you'll have a wonderful support system. I can understand not wanting to tell Grandma yet though. Makes sense. You'll know when the time is right.
Cheryl, I'm so glad that you’re at such a good place, where you can tell people as it feels natural. I think it’s just so incredibly sweet that you’re waiting to tell M’s grandmother out of such a wonderful reason – that made me cry, that you’re so thoughtful and sweet. I think she’ll be overjoyed for you!
We got to 21w3d with Maddie, and I NEVER felt like pregnancy was “flying” by! I know exactly what you mean! I have the feeling it’s going to be even worse after loss – you know what can possibly happen now, even if it's not likely. I think you’re just taking it one day at a time, which is all that you can do – and what is healthy. I’m so happy for you.
Ugh, I am feeling these exact same thoughts as we start to talk about when we will tell. Even though you KNOW it won't CAUSE anything you feel like maybe if you are too excited it will be snatched away.
And pregnancy flying by obviously only applies to fertiles! What's this about enjoying it? I don't comprehend...
Pregnancy was the longest ten months of my life. And then I don't even remember the next nine after that. What a learning experience for me. Always wondering if I was feeling the right way, trying not to feel too worried or panicked, ...and all the while trying to continue to be an awesome worker, friend, daughter, and wife who was her normal happy self.
Telling people will only make living easier and everyone is cheering you on to the finish!
I know what you mean about feeling guilty. Me too...
It never "flew by" except in retrospect. Just enjoy every day and try not to think about where you are in the journey.
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