Here I am again… writing the same post I’ve written before. I have my appointment at 2 pm today and I’m freaking out. I feel like I’m going to vomit, but I think that’s because my nervous system is out of control.
I had tons of “flutters” on Friday and Saturday, but nothing really yesterday or today. This must mean something is wrong.
I talked up the pregnancy a lot over the weekend. This must mean I jinxed it.
My Mother-in-law’s entire Thanksgiving prayer was about how thankful she is for this little one on the way. I’m sure I’m going to let her down.
I’m supposed to visit a daycare center after the doctor appointment. I’m thinking of just cancelling it now.
Writing all this out makes me feel like a drama queen. I’m doing it so I can either (a) come back and feel reassured (if everything is actually ok) when I feel like this again or (b) just feel like I can say “I told you so.”
I’m not sleeping at all. I was awake most of last night in freak-out mode. I’m sure that IF this baby is fine, it will have a neural tube defect. They’ll (hopefully) test for that today when I get blood drawn for the quad screen.
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7 comments:
Oh, Cheryl. I'm so sorry, I totally understand the up-and-down emotions.
When I was pregnant with Maddie, when I was still in the "flutters" stage before the really hard kicks, a day or two could go by without me feeling them. The baby changes position so often, so it might be moving somewhere you can't feel. I'm keeping all of my fingers and toes crossed for you. Hugs.
Thanks, just reading that made my blood pressure go down a little!
hoping your appointment is going great right now and that you can breathe a huge sigh of relief after. Thinking of you.
I'm sorry. I know that this must be scary. I'm praying for peace as you head into the appointment. Take care!
I hope your appointment is wonderful and you can leave it feeling reassured and wonderful. I completely understand as I spent most of last night awake in freak-out anticipation of our first ultrasound today. Best of luck!!
Hope to hear great news about your appt.. I can understand, though, as I am now 18 weeks & still not feeling anything. Or maybe I am & don't know it??
I have been using my doppler from this new paranoia from not feeling her yet. But then I worry maybe she is not growing properly and that's why I can't feel her. Can't wait for my next scan too!
saying a prayer for you right now...
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