38 Weeks

The good: A healthy moving baby. Nothing can be better than this!

The bad: I’m uncomfortable and sleepy all that stuff. But it’s not going to last forever.

The ugly: I’m getting afraid again. I spend so much time just being thankful for what I have. The May birth board is full of sad stories right now – it seems so many babies are suddenly not moving and the moms have to go to the doctor knowing what they will hear. Each one breaks my heart and can’t imagine just starting this journey now – and with a heavier heart. I’ve started avoiding the board because of the sad stories. I shouldn’t complain about any of my minor aches and pains. They don’t matter.

Tomorrow is my 38 week appointment. My MIL wants to go with me since M is in training. I don’t want her to go. I know she would love it, but I’ll be getting an internal check and sitting there with that paper towel that cannot cover me anymore. She said she could come and just sit in the waiting room… I don’t know. She stresses me out because she constantly voices her fears about things. I can’t be the one to calm her down when she is stressed out about MY labor. If the baby is having a good day tomorrow, I’ll be fine. If the baby is quiet all day, I’ll ask her to be there in the waiting room. She’s not really the person I would want by my side in case of bad news… but she’s better than being alone. She’s a great person, but I would feel the need to comfort HER – that’s too hard.