An email exchange from yesterday:
C: How is your day? I had a breakdown this morning and went to Dunkin Donuts to get a muffin. I needed it. I got doughnuts for the rest of the office, too. Now I am not really hungry for lunch.
M: What kind of breakdown? I hope you’re OK?!
C: I was so hungry. I thought I would die. I didn’t want anything but a muffin or a cheeseburger. It was 10 am, so I decided on a muffin. It wasn’t a mental breakdown.
M: Oh. A lot of time I want either a muffin or a cheeseburger also. This is completely normal.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thank you notes
This is one of my favorite websites: Alphamom
The writers (I’m not even sure if there are more than one!) are awesome and seem like normal people. The pregnancy calendar is frickin fantastic and the advice column is one of the few where I don’t get angry at the columnist for being an idiot (good advice: Carolyn Hax, bad advice: Friend or Foe*).
Right, so back on topic. Today’s Advice Smackdown is from a woman who had a stillborn son. She was wondering about writing the thank you notes for all the wonderful things people had done for her. I was there (although not exactly in her shoes)and I remember the awfulness of those cards. Actually making the cards was wonderful and therapeutic (I’m crafty and I make my own cards. You wouldn’t ever guess that because I’m an engineer). Writing the actual thank you notes was terrible. I cried through every single one. I broke down in the middle and told M that I wasn’t supposed to be writing these cards. I was supposed to be taking care of a baby soon. I got them out before I even went back to work because I just needed to get that chore out of the way.
Amy’s advice today was perfect. I saw that a few people from our side of the web have chimed in on the comments. I’m going to keep this in the back of my mind – you know the things you remember *just in case* this happens to someone else. I never thought to offer to write someone else’s thank you notes. But now I will. I’ll bring over dinner and leave with a list of notes to write. And to never, ever expect one in return.
*So I think Friend or Foe sucks. It's not bad today, but if you are bored, go back to the early days and see what you can find. I read it because I love train wrecks.
The writers (I’m not even sure if there are more than one!) are awesome and seem like normal people. The pregnancy calendar is frickin fantastic and the advice column is one of the few where I don’t get angry at the columnist for being an idiot (good advice: Carolyn Hax, bad advice: Friend or Foe*).
Right, so back on topic. Today’s Advice Smackdown is from a woman who had a stillborn son. She was wondering about writing the thank you notes for all the wonderful things people had done for her. I was there (although not exactly in her shoes)and I remember the awfulness of those cards. Actually making the cards was wonderful and therapeutic (I’m crafty and I make my own cards. You wouldn’t ever guess that because I’m an engineer). Writing the actual thank you notes was terrible. I cried through every single one. I broke down in the middle and told M that I wasn’t supposed to be writing these cards. I was supposed to be taking care of a baby soon. I got them out before I even went back to work because I just needed to get that chore out of the way.
Amy’s advice today was perfect. I saw that a few people from our side of the web have chimed in on the comments. I’m going to keep this in the back of my mind – you know the things you remember *just in case* this happens to someone else. I never thought to offer to write someone else’s thank you notes. But now I will. I’ll bring over dinner and leave with a list of notes to write. And to never, ever expect one in return.
*So I think Friend or Foe sucks. It's not bad today, but if you are bored, go back to the early days and see what you can find. I read it because I love train wrecks.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
25 Weeks
These weekly updates are starting to get monotonous… Sorry about that! I just like keeping a record of everything.
The good: The usual, movement is great, I’m starting to show more and more and my uncontrollable hunger is starting to get controlled. I’m still warm all the time, but that’s a good thing when it is 35 degrees outside. It’s a bad thing sometimes (see below), but I was kind of looking forward to this pregnancy symptom so I would stop being cold all the frickin time.
The bad: I am not sleeping well, even with my body pillow. I bought a huge one, which I LOVE, but now I’m hot. Of the two (intense back pain or sweating), I pick sweating. I might wake up just as often, but I’m falling asleep faster. M hates the pillow, but he cuddles with the side closest to him. Last night I was having trouble sleeping (because of stuff on my mind) and I crawled out of my nest and over to him. He was sleeping, but said, “yessssssss!” when I made him spoon me.
The ugly: I have lost all patience for anyone else’s petty emotional crap problems.
{drama removed}
Normal stuff: I told a client today about the baby. I’m supposed to start going on site visits for a building and I’m not about to go picking my way through muddy, uneven construction sites. I fall down on normal days on flat floors. I don’t want to trip over some rebar or risk anything. I told him that we wanted to go out to the site, but I wouldn’t be the one doing the visit. He was fine with that. I do really like site visits. You get to meet the people that call all the time and it’s time away from the desk! Plus, I’ll be the one doing all the work from the visit, so it’s usually best to get a glimpse of the actual construction. But I’d rather not go and my bosses have said they don’t want me doing anything I’m uncomfortable with. That’s a good thing! Not everyone has that luxury!
M finished working on the nursery/office closet and now I have shelves to put things on! Tonight we’ll be putting things on shelves in the guest bedroom and the nursery. Organizing makes me happy. Parts of my house are a huge mess right now, but parts of it are so clean! Woohoo!!!
The good: The usual, movement is great, I’m starting to show more and more and my uncontrollable hunger is starting to get controlled. I’m still warm all the time, but that’s a good thing when it is 35 degrees outside. It’s a bad thing sometimes (see below), but I was kind of looking forward to this pregnancy symptom so I would stop being cold all the frickin time.
The bad: I am not sleeping well, even with my body pillow. I bought a huge one, which I LOVE, but now I’m hot. Of the two (intense back pain or sweating), I pick sweating. I might wake up just as often, but I’m falling asleep faster. M hates the pillow, but he cuddles with the side closest to him. Last night I was having trouble sleeping (because of stuff on my mind) and I crawled out of my nest and over to him. He was sleeping, but said, “yessssssss!” when I made him spoon me.
The ugly: I have lost all patience for anyone else’s petty emotional crap problems.
{drama removed}
Normal stuff: I told a client today about the baby. I’m supposed to start going on site visits for a building and I’m not about to go picking my way through muddy, uneven construction sites. I fall down on normal days on flat floors. I don’t want to trip over some rebar or risk anything. I told him that we wanted to go out to the site, but I wouldn’t be the one doing the visit. He was fine with that. I do really like site visits. You get to meet the people that call all the time and it’s time away from the desk! Plus, I’ll be the one doing all the work from the visit, so it’s usually best to get a glimpse of the actual construction. But I’d rather not go and my bosses have said they don’t want me doing anything I’m uncomfortable with. That’s a good thing! Not everyone has that luxury!
M finished working on the nursery/office closet and now I have shelves to put things on! Tonight we’ll be putting things on shelves in the guest bedroom and the nursery. Organizing makes me happy. Parts of my house are a huge mess right now, but parts of it are so clean! Woohoo!!!
Monday, January 25, 2010
24 weeks belly pic
This is a few days late, but I took this picture last Wednesday:
The boob overflow is way down because of Gap Maternity tank tops. Thanks Gap!
The boob overflow is way down because of Gap Maternity tank tops. Thanks Gap!
24 Week Appointment
I had my 24 week appointment this morning. Everything went great. I saw the doctor for about 5 minutes. She found the heartbeat immediately and then the baby moved, so she found it again. We were steady in the 140s. I will probably have the 1-hour glucose test at my next appointment in 4 weeks. I say probably because the doctor talked to me about it, but forgot to write it on the form. The lady scheduling appointment is going to make sure. My office doesn’t require fasting or anything before the test, so it will be fine if I have it and fine if I don’t.
A girl came in while we were waiting. She was there for a miscarriage follow-up. She had some questions about the paperwork and I knew what she was asking about. I wanted to run up to the counter and hug her and tell her that there are so many of us out here. But I knew that I couldn’t do it. I would have been so upset if someone had done that to me. I kept a look out for her when I was in the back doing the regular appointment stuff, but I didn’t see her. I remember sitting in the same waiting room and not looking at anyone because I didn’t want to see a smiling pregnant woman. So I sent her lots of little prayer and kept my face down. I hate hearing that this keeps happening.
Thanks for all the great comments on my last post. I checked on the tree this morning and hasn’t had any more damage. The picture is a “before” picture. I don’t want to take an after picture… so sad. M painted the office/nursery closet over the weekend, so I wasn’t allowed to get on the computer while the paint dried. Thank you!! Hopefully I’ll be able to catch up on ICLW today!
A girl came in while we were waiting. She was there for a miscarriage follow-up. She had some questions about the paperwork and I knew what she was asking about. I wanted to run up to the counter and hug her and tell her that there are so many of us out here. But I knew that I couldn’t do it. I would have been so upset if someone had done that to me. I kept a look out for her when I was in the back doing the regular appointment stuff, but I didn’t see her. I remember sitting in the same waiting room and not looking at anyone because I didn’t want to see a smiling pregnant woman. So I sent her lots of little prayer and kept my face down. I hate hearing that this keeps happening.
Thanks for all the great comments on my last post. I checked on the tree this morning and hasn’t had any more damage. The picture is a “before” picture. I don’t want to take an after picture… so sad. M painted the office/nursery closet over the weekend, so I wasn’t allowed to get on the computer while the paint dried. Thank you!! Hopefully I’ll be able to catch up on ICLW today!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
My Tree
Friday was a bad day.
We were getting ready to have our neighbors over for dinner when M came up the stairs and told me that the deer had eaten our little tree. I thought he meant a sad holly we planted a few years ago that just can't seem to keep up. He didn't. He meant the little tree in the backyard that my mom gave us in May. The little tree that I almost think of as my son.
I cried. I'm still crying.
I know he's not really in the tree, but I feel like I failed him. I went out during the snow storms to make sure the little tree was still upright, I watered it all summer. I love that tree.
And I failed him. I left it unprotected and now it looks like a sad stick in the ground.
I cried the kind of sobs that make husbands cry. He tried to calm me down because he didn't want me to do any harm to our new baby, but I couldn't stop. Then he did what men do best. He fixed the problem. He stood up and said, "Let's go." We went to home depot and bought a little wire fence and he installed it immediately, even though he should have been preparing dinner for our friends.
I'm still so sad about this, but I can't stop feeling grateful for M. I heard him go outside this morning to check on the tree. He already is the best father in the world. I am so lucky to have him.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Welcome ICLW!
Hi! Nice to meet you!
Here’s a little background on me – I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant. I had two miscarriages in 2009. The first was in January at 5 weeks and the second was a missed miscarriage at 14 weeks in May. I was diagnosed with heterozygous MTHFR and I have to believe that one baby aspirin a day is keeping this kid growing.
My current struggles are keeping the hope alive that this baby will be ok (and I’m doing well with this right now), keeping my stress level low at work and dealing with some people around me that make me crazy.
I’m in a good place right now that sometimes makes me feel even sadder – I cry more about my baby boy than I did earlier in my pregnancy, but less than I did before it. I think about how I missed out on so much with him, but then realize that I wouldn’t have this baby without him. It’s a weird place to be.
This is my A-Z that I did a long time ago.
My normal rambling for today:
I discussed reaching viability with M last night. He asked me what it meant and then said that we shouldn’t think about that right now. He’s right. I told him the signs of pre-term labor and how I don’t think I have any of them and then he talked about a ping-pong tournament at work.
He’s talking about making a career change. He’s so unhappy at work and I wish I could do something to help. He had one interview, but then his contact changed jobs so that kind of fell through the cracks. We talked about him getting his MBA and what that would take. It will be a lot of work and time… but M is a born leader. He’s a classic oldest child! An MBA is the way to go for him. I know it will be hard to start this fall with our life at home changing so much. We’ll have to make some sacrifices… it will probably mean staying in our house longer than we had planned, it will mean having to eat dinners that I cook, it will mean he’ll be away a few nights a week and need study time. But it feels right. I’m proud of him.
Today I’m going to a meeting and I tried to put on clothes that would kind of hide this belly. It’s not possible. My belly sticks out past my boobs now (barely). This project will be due in the summertime and I’m not trying to advertise that fact that I (probably) won’t be the one finishing it. I just don’t want to deal with the questions. I’ve never worked with any of these people before, so I don’t know if any of them will ask. They probably won’t even notice. I keep forgetting that I work with only men.
Here’s a little background on me – I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant. I had two miscarriages in 2009. The first was in January at 5 weeks and the second was a missed miscarriage at 14 weeks in May. I was diagnosed with heterozygous MTHFR and I have to believe that one baby aspirin a day is keeping this kid growing.
My current struggles are keeping the hope alive that this baby will be ok (and I’m doing well with this right now), keeping my stress level low at work and dealing with some people around me that make me crazy.
I’m in a good place right now that sometimes makes me feel even sadder – I cry more about my baby boy than I did earlier in my pregnancy, but less than I did before it. I think about how I missed out on so much with him, but then realize that I wouldn’t have this baby without him. It’s a weird place to be.
This is my A-Z that I did a long time ago.
My normal rambling for today:
I discussed reaching viability with M last night. He asked me what it meant and then said that we shouldn’t think about that right now. He’s right. I told him the signs of pre-term labor and how I don’t think I have any of them and then he talked about a ping-pong tournament at work.
He’s talking about making a career change. He’s so unhappy at work and I wish I could do something to help. He had one interview, but then his contact changed jobs so that kind of fell through the cracks. We talked about him getting his MBA and what that would take. It will be a lot of work and time… but M is a born leader. He’s a classic oldest child! An MBA is the way to go for him. I know it will be hard to start this fall with our life at home changing so much. We’ll have to make some sacrifices… it will probably mean staying in our house longer than we had planned, it will mean having to eat dinners that I cook, it will mean he’ll be away a few nights a week and need study time. But it feels right. I’m proud of him.
Today I’m going to a meeting and I tried to put on clothes that would kind of hide this belly. It’s not possible. My belly sticks out past my boobs now (barely). This project will be due in the summertime and I’m not trying to advertise that fact that I (probably) won’t be the one finishing it. I just don’t want to deal with the questions. I’ve never worked with any of these people before, so I don’t know if any of them will ask. They probably won’t even notice. I keep forgetting that I work with only men.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
24 Weeks
So, 24 weeks! Neat!
The good: This kid keeps getting more and more active. I had a kick that made me sit straight up in bed and almost scream. I’ve started getting punched in the organs above the uterus (very lightly, but still uncomfortable). I’m talking to the baby more and we’re starting to work on the nursery.
I ordered a body pillow and I can’t wait to get it. I would really like to be able to sleep without crazy back pain. M tried to help, but then he rolls away from me after a few hours. Every night he gets into bed and tries to shape himself like a pillow. It doesn’t really work. We talked about the pillow and I’m sad that it will get in the way of cuddling, but… it’s only for a few months. And I told him he could cuddle with the pillow, too.
We got our first baby outfit! I went to have dinner at my aunt’s house and she gave us a little toy and two onesies. I play with them every day. I love them. I can’t believe we have baby clothes!
The great clean out continues – we cleaned out the closet in the office. It was filled. We got out 3 bags of recycling and 2 bags of trash. I also got rid of a ton of books that I’m taking to the second hand bookstore tonight. I’d say they are about one trash bag full. That puts the total at 18 trash bags of stuff removed from our house so far. M is going to buy some more shelving for our guest room and office/nursery closet today and he’ll get those up this weekend.
The bad: I’m stressed at work. It sucks. That’s why I haven’t been posting here very often. Thank goodness this kid is staying active or I’d be double stressed. I hate work stress and I’ve always made it a point to leave work stress at work, so I do have that going for me. M asked me last night how things were going and I think I surprised him but just venting for about 20 minutes… so maybe I’m not that good at keeping it separate. He helped me out, though. The bad stuff for this project should be over by the end of next week (or it will get worse). Let’s all hope it gets worked out.
Preggo brain – not a myth. I left my purse at work last night (probably a mixture of preggo brain + stress). I don’t remember anything. Ever.
The ugly: I am now officially the hot, sweaty pregnant woman. I have to take my shoes off before lunch because my feet get sweaty. I’m worried that when I stand up everyone will see how sweaty my butt is.
The good: This kid keeps getting more and more active. I had a kick that made me sit straight up in bed and almost scream. I’ve started getting punched in the organs above the uterus (very lightly, but still uncomfortable). I’m talking to the baby more and we’re starting to work on the nursery.
I ordered a body pillow and I can’t wait to get it. I would really like to be able to sleep without crazy back pain. M tried to help, but then he rolls away from me after a few hours. Every night he gets into bed and tries to shape himself like a pillow. It doesn’t really work. We talked about the pillow and I’m sad that it will get in the way of cuddling, but… it’s only for a few months. And I told him he could cuddle with the pillow, too.
We got our first baby outfit! I went to have dinner at my aunt’s house and she gave us a little toy and two onesies. I play with them every day. I love them. I can’t believe we have baby clothes!
The great clean out continues – we cleaned out the closet in the office. It was filled. We got out 3 bags of recycling and 2 bags of trash. I also got rid of a ton of books that I’m taking to the second hand bookstore tonight. I’d say they are about one trash bag full. That puts the total at 18 trash bags of stuff removed from our house so far. M is going to buy some more shelving for our guest room and office/nursery closet today and he’ll get those up this weekend.
The bad: I’m stressed at work. It sucks. That’s why I haven’t been posting here very often. Thank goodness this kid is staying active or I’d be double stressed. I hate work stress and I’ve always made it a point to leave work stress at work, so I do have that going for me. M asked me last night how things were going and I think I surprised him but just venting for about 20 minutes… so maybe I’m not that good at keeping it separate. He helped me out, though. The bad stuff for this project should be over by the end of next week (or it will get worse). Let’s all hope it gets worked out.
Preggo brain – not a myth. I left my purse at work last night (probably a mixture of preggo brain + stress). I don’t remember anything. Ever.
The ugly: I am now officially the hot, sweaty pregnant woman. I have to take my shoes off before lunch because my feet get sweaty. I’m worried that when I stand up everyone will see how sweaty my butt is.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
100th post
Today is my 4 year wedding anniversary and my 100th post!
Happy Anniversary, M. I’m not going to post a mushy love letter to him here, but I’m so lucky to have him as a husband. I’d be a disaster without him. I promise I don’t really want to name our kid Heathcliff.
For my 100th post, here is an idea I stole from Kym:
Happy Anniversary, M. I’m not going to post a mushy love letter to him here, but I’m so lucky to have him as a husband. I’d be a disaster without him. I promise I don’t really want to name our kid Heathcliff.
For my 100th post, here is an idea I stole from Kym:
I played around with this back in the summer and the picture was totally different. This isn't totally filled with positive words, but miscarriage is pretty small now and happy is getting bigger.
I saw a kick from the outside yesterday. Of course M wasn't watching, but I saw it!
Updated: Here is the link to Wordle. I used their site to make my fun word jumble.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
23 Weeks
Keep on truckin’. I’m feeling good.
The good: Lots of movement. Not a lot of back pain this week. M was able to feel the baby move a few times this weekend. We were laying in bed over the weekend and I started getting some big kicks. I made him hold his hand over the spot for a while when we got a bunch of good kicks right in a row. He was smiling so much. Later on that day he hugged me and told me, “I felt the baby this morning!”
We talked about names a little more. M had two favorite names (which I don’t like). I have two favorite names. He likes the girl name, but isn’t too sure about the boy name. The baby name book is on the coffee table and we both pick it up and look at it, but we don’t talk much about it. I know lots of couples pick out names before they even get married. We are not like those couples. I’ve convinced some friends that we’re naming the kid Xavier Yvonne (our last name starts with a Z). They believe me.
My mom is going to come down in early February and we’re going to register. We have officially picked the nursery furniture. We still won’t order anything for a while. But we know.
The bad: Nothing bad this week. I do freak out when I don’t feel movement for like… 5 minutes. Then I talk some sense into myself and calm down. Then usually I get a nudge or a kick.
The ugly: The zits came back last weekend. It was gross. Then they went away again. I’m still cranky and tired. I have a short fuse right now and some people are rubbing me the wrong way. I wish I could just growl at them. Work is stressful for stupid reasons and someone outside is using a landscaping tool that makes annoying noises.
The good: Lots of movement. Not a lot of back pain this week. M was able to feel the baby move a few times this weekend. We were laying in bed over the weekend and I started getting some big kicks. I made him hold his hand over the spot for a while when we got a bunch of good kicks right in a row. He was smiling so much. Later on that day he hugged me and told me, “I felt the baby this morning!”
We talked about names a little more. M had two favorite names (which I don’t like). I have two favorite names. He likes the girl name, but isn’t too sure about the boy name. The baby name book is on the coffee table and we both pick it up and look at it, but we don’t talk much about it. I know lots of couples pick out names before they even get married. We are not like those couples. I’ve convinced some friends that we’re naming the kid Xavier Yvonne (our last name starts with a Z). They believe me.
My mom is going to come down in early February and we’re going to register. We have officially picked the nursery furniture. We still won’t order anything for a while. But we know.
The bad: Nothing bad this week. I do freak out when I don’t feel movement for like… 5 minutes. Then I talk some sense into myself and calm down. Then usually I get a nudge or a kick.
The ugly: The zits came back last weekend. It was gross. Then they went away again. I’m still cranky and tired. I have a short fuse right now and some people are rubbing me the wrong way. I wish I could just growl at them. Work is stressful for stupid reasons and someone outside is using a landscaping tool that makes annoying noises.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
January 10, 2009
One year ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to severe cramping and lost my first baby. I was 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I knew it was coming and I'd been waiting a few days with only a little hope. I had no idea what to expect. I couldn't stop crying.
Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night because a new baby was moving around all over the place. I couldn't stop smiling.
I couldn't be happier about where I am today and the contrast between myself one year ago and myself today is immeasurable.
My hopes are high right now. I hope that I'll be posting a similar thought on May 18th. One year after the worst days of my life, I hope to be experiencing the best days.
Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night because a new baby was moving around all over the place. I couldn't stop smiling.
I couldn't be happier about where I am today and the contrast between myself one year ago and myself today is immeasurable.
My hopes are high right now. I hope that I'll be posting a similar thought on May 18th. One year after the worst days of my life, I hope to be experiencing the best days.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
22 Weeks
Twenty-Two weeks is the REAL halfway point if you listen to Ms J. (and maybe you should, she’s pretty cool).
The good: Still getting those kicks, and even though they are sometimes uncomfortable, I won’t adjust how I’m sitting just so I can feel them. I haven’t had any more Braxton-Hicks.
The bad: Itchy skin and back pain. I’d still rather have these things than not have them, but they blow.
The ugly: Me in maternity clothes. I LOVE them, but I don’t really like this in-between stage. I look a little silly in these clothes that will fit me down the road. I think this is pretty common. We don’t fit into anything right now. I had a client come in yesterday and I was wearing a tent shirt, but it just looks like I’m wearing it for fun. He kind of glanced at me, but I didn’t say anything to him. I don’t really talk to him much anyway. Last time, I worked with a guy and talked to him every day. He knew and then I had to tell him about the miscarriage. It was weird. Now clients will know about this when I send out a message about going on maternity leave.
Another weird thing is delegating out my projects. Anything that I’m starting now be in progress or finish when I’m away. So I’m making sure someone else is aware of everything I do. That’s kind of tough for me. I’m independent at work and I like to do everything myself. Asking for help at work now will probably help me ask for help when I really need it.
*Notice how I said WHEN. I am getting better. When I think that I still have 18 more weeks to go, I get a little scared. But knowing that my baby is fine right now is helping.
The good: Still getting those kicks, and even though they are sometimes uncomfortable, I won’t adjust how I’m sitting just so I can feel them. I haven’t had any more Braxton-Hicks.
The bad: Itchy skin and back pain. I’d still rather have these things than not have them, but they blow.
The ugly: Me in maternity clothes. I LOVE them, but I don’t really like this in-between stage. I look a little silly in these clothes that will fit me down the road. I think this is pretty common. We don’t fit into anything right now. I had a client come in yesterday and I was wearing a tent shirt, but it just looks like I’m wearing it for fun. He kind of glanced at me, but I didn’t say anything to him. I don’t really talk to him much anyway. Last time, I worked with a guy and talked to him every day. He knew and then I had to tell him about the miscarriage. It was weird. Now clients will know about this when I send out a message about going on maternity leave.
Another weird thing is delegating out my projects. Anything that I’m starting now be in progress or finish when I’m away. So I’m making sure someone else is aware of everything I do. That’s kind of tough for me. I’m independent at work and I like to do everything myself. Asking for help at work now will probably help me ask for help when I really need it.
*Notice how I said WHEN. I am getting better. When I think that I still have 18 more weeks to go, I get a little scared. But knowing that my baby is fine right now is helping.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Braxton Hicks
Ok, well now I know what Braxton-Hicks contractions feel like. And the articles are right-on.
Yesterday afternoon I was working and my stomach/uterus area felt tight. I walked around a little and it was mildly uncomfortable. I didn’t think much about it. It went away after a while, but I wasn’t focused on it.
Yesterday night, it happened again and it was crazy uncomfortable. It didn’t hurt at all, I just couldn’t get comfortable. And my uterus area was hard as a rock. It took a while to go away and once it did, I was almost sore and I just kept hoping it wouldn’t come back. Of course, we went to bed in the middle of it, so I had plenty of time to get worked up about it. I convinced myself it was the beginning of the end. It took me about an hour and a half to finally fall asleep. Then I woke up because I drank a sh!t-ton of water before bed (I remembered something about dehydration causing the contractions). It hasn’t happened since then and I looked up the articles on Braxton Hicks this morning. It’s the first time the internet has actually calmed me down. I haven’t had anything happen since last night (except for the monster kicks and flips all morning).
I told M about it this morning. “That just means you are getting bigger.” Thanks, Dr M.
Yesterday afternoon I was working and my stomach/uterus area felt tight. I walked around a little and it was mildly uncomfortable. I didn’t think much about it. It went away after a while, but I wasn’t focused on it.
Yesterday night, it happened again and it was crazy uncomfortable. It didn’t hurt at all, I just couldn’t get comfortable. And my uterus area was hard as a rock. It took a while to go away and once it did, I was almost sore and I just kept hoping it wouldn’t come back. Of course, we went to bed in the middle of it, so I had plenty of time to get worked up about it. I convinced myself it was the beginning of the end. It took me about an hour and a half to finally fall asleep. Then I woke up because I drank a sh!t-ton of water before bed (I remembered something about dehydration causing the contractions). It hasn’t happened since then and I looked up the articles on Braxton Hicks this morning. It’s the first time the internet has actually calmed me down. I haven’t had anything happen since last night (except for the monster kicks and flips all morning).
I told M about it this morning. “That just means you are getting bigger.” Thanks, Dr M.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Shopping!
So, happy 2010! I didn’t do a year in review post… I guess we could all just go back and read my posts from the last year. But I like reading everyone else’s! That kept me busy all morning!
I think I’ve changed. I am actually starting to think this is for real. I might really really have a baby in May. I need to start believing it, because my house is starting to believe it! We’ve cleaned out so much stuff to make room for another person in our townhouse. Not that we have a tiny house, we’ve just expanded to fill the whole thing! We got 7 trash bags from our bedroom (5 goodwill, 2 trash) over Christmas and 5 more (1 recycling, 2 trash, 2 goodwill) from the guest bedroom over New Year’s. I’m still not done in that room. I need to do my yearly purge of books. I only get rid of books I don’t like and I give them to my mom. She works at a hospital and they sell used books in the gift shop. That’s great idea. I apologize, people stuck in the hospital, for giving you the books I don’t like. But you might enjoy them!
We did something drastic on Saturday. We went to Babies R Us. This was the first time M has ever been in a real BRU. He has been shopping for baby gifts at the crappy Toys R Us baby section, but he has never seen the glory that is BRU. He was overwhelmed (surprise!). The car seat/stroller part really blew him away. We walked through the 3 aisles of these things and he was sweating. I told him our plan (we’re going to use his parent’s Consumer Reports account to do some research and narrow it down to a few). He felt better and we moved on. We picked out the nursery furniture we’ll buy. For realz. We’re still kind of looking and I’ve learned that we don’t have many other options. The local places just don’t sell cribs, which makes us sad. I found one store that has one crib/nursery set and we’ll check it out this week. I plan on actually purchasing the furniture sometime after my next appointment (Jan 25th – 24 weeks, 5 days). So sometime in February. M seems to think the only furniture our kid will ever need is a bed and a small dresser. I’m going to push for the bookcase because any kid of mine is going to need a place to keep books. I’ll let you know who wins.
So that’s exciting. We’re getting the house ready. I should take some before pictures of the computer/craft room so you’ll know what a mess this is. I am still happy that we painted the room yellow 4 years ago. One less thing on the list!
I think I’ve changed. I am actually starting to think this is for real. I might really really have a baby in May. I need to start believing it, because my house is starting to believe it! We’ve cleaned out so much stuff to make room for another person in our townhouse. Not that we have a tiny house, we’ve just expanded to fill the whole thing! We got 7 trash bags from our bedroom (5 goodwill, 2 trash) over Christmas and 5 more (1 recycling, 2 trash, 2 goodwill) from the guest bedroom over New Year’s. I’m still not done in that room. I need to do my yearly purge of books. I only get rid of books I don’t like and I give them to my mom. She works at a hospital and they sell used books in the gift shop. That’s great idea. I apologize, people stuck in the hospital, for giving you the books I don’t like. But you might enjoy them!
We did something drastic on Saturday. We went to Babies R Us. This was the first time M has ever been in a real BRU. He has been shopping for baby gifts at the crappy Toys R Us baby section, but he has never seen the glory that is BRU. He was overwhelmed (surprise!). The car seat/stroller part really blew him away. We walked through the 3 aisles of these things and he was sweating. I told him our plan (we’re going to use his parent’s Consumer Reports account to do some research and narrow it down to a few). He felt better and we moved on. We picked out the nursery furniture we’ll buy. For realz. We’re still kind of looking and I’ve learned that we don’t have many other options. The local places just don’t sell cribs, which makes us sad. I found one store that has one crib/nursery set and we’ll check it out this week. I plan on actually purchasing the furniture sometime after my next appointment (Jan 25th – 24 weeks, 5 days). So sometime in February. M seems to think the only furniture our kid will ever need is a bed and a small dresser. I’m going to push for the bookcase because any kid of mine is going to need a place to keep books. I’ll let you know who wins.
So that’s exciting. We’re getting the house ready. I should take some before pictures of the computer/craft room so you’ll know what a mess this is. I am still happy that we painted the room yellow 4 years ago. One less thing on the list!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
21 Weeks - Belly pic
For Leda... if you look closely you can see that I wrote "picture" on my hand so I wouldn't forget tonight.
Also, check out that boob overflow! H-O-T!!
Damn, girl! I think that bump looks better in pictures than it does in person!
21 Weeks!
Is this a milestone where the baby can start drinking? That would be nice (and timely) for tomorrow!
Ah, alas… I will not drink tomorrow. My 2nd NYE without the booze.
Anyway, back to 21 weeks!
The Good: movement, movement, movement, maternity clothes.
The Bad: Dropping Sh!t. I was bad at dropping stuff before. Now I’m awful. We made breakfast for the inlaws on Saturday and I dropped a piece of cheese of the ground. My brother in law was right there, so I gave it to him to throw away. I looked up ten seconds later and caught his eye. He was eating it.
I broke the scale this morning! M told me I must be getting really fat now! I lost my balance when I stepped on it and cracked the window. M does not think this is funny.
The Ugly: That wasteland between my boobs is gross. I am a “blessed” girl in that area and, since September, I’ve become more blessed. I need to get new bras. I KNOW it. Right now, my chest is crammed into an old bra and I itch like mad. This happened before. I have zits in between my boobs, so I decided to put some medicine on it (benzyl peroxide only). The medicine is fine on my face, but apparently gives me a gross rash when used elsewhere. Gross. GROSS. All red and itchy. And to make it worse, I keep dropping saltines down there and they make the itching worse. I want to go to the fancy store to get fitted by the fancy people and find good maternity bras that will last. But I’m afraid to go there with my zits and rash. I’ll wait for the rash to clear up and then re-evaluate.
The Question: I’m headed to the bookstore to use some gift cards this weekend. We’re going to get a baby name book. I also want to get The Happiest Baby on the Block. Any other recommendations for a not-to-crunchy future mom? Maybe a book about birth that will make me feel good about my decision to go drug free until I feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable (just so I can say I tried?).
The Update: A coworker just asked me if I'm pregnant! I thought everyone knew, but he wasn't here the day I told everybody. I'm so excited!
Ah, alas… I will not drink tomorrow. My 2nd NYE without the booze.
Anyway, back to 21 weeks!
The Good: movement, movement, movement, maternity clothes.
The Bad: Dropping Sh!t. I was bad at dropping stuff before. Now I’m awful. We made breakfast for the inlaws on Saturday and I dropped a piece of cheese of the ground. My brother in law was right there, so I gave it to him to throw away. I looked up ten seconds later and caught his eye. He was eating it.
I broke the scale this morning! M told me I must be getting really fat now! I lost my balance when I stepped on it and cracked the window. M does not think this is funny.
The Ugly: That wasteland between my boobs is gross. I am a “blessed” girl in that area and, since September, I’ve become more blessed. I need to get new bras. I KNOW it. Right now, my chest is crammed into an old bra and I itch like mad. This happened before. I have zits in between my boobs, so I decided to put some medicine on it (benzyl peroxide only). The medicine is fine on my face, but apparently gives me a gross rash when used elsewhere. Gross. GROSS. All red and itchy. And to make it worse, I keep dropping saltines down there and they make the itching worse. I want to go to the fancy store to get fitted by the fancy people and find good maternity bras that will last. But I’m afraid to go there with my zits and rash. I’ll wait for the rash to clear up and then re-evaluate.
The Question: I’m headed to the bookstore to use some gift cards this weekend. We’re going to get a baby name book. I also want to get The Happiest Baby on the Block. Any other recommendations for a not-to-crunchy future mom? Maybe a book about birth that will make me feel good about my decision to go drug free until I feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable (just so I can say I tried?).
The Update: A coworker just asked me if I'm pregnant! I thought everyone knew, but he wasn't here the day I told everybody. I'm so excited!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
So Much to Say
I should have posted over the weekend. I can’t believe how much stuff I need to talk about! I’ll go in reverse order.
Appointment:
I had my doctor appointment Monday at 4 pm. Only one doctor was there, so we had to wait forever. That was fine. I read a magazine and M looked at a Chesapeake Bay picture book. I’m afraid we’re going to be driving around looking for spots he found in the book. The was the first appointment for this pregnancy where I wasn’t afraid. The baby was kicking me while we were waiting, and I was so happy to be able to relax. The nurse didn’t even pause or make a face when she took my blood pressure! I gained some weight, too (although the weight might have been the gigantic pit beef sandwich I had for lunch!). The baby’s heart rate was in the 140s the entire time. We got to hear it for a while because I asked the doctor some questions and she held the Doppler on my stomach while she answered them.
My questions and answers:
Q: Can you recommend a place for infant CPR?
A: Check out the American Heart Association website. I didn’t think this was very helpful. The only thing I could find was a kit so you can learn at home. I see the good points – We could do this whenever we wanted and then pass it on to family and friends. The bad points are that you don’t have an instructor watching you to tell you if your technique is wrong. That makes me nervous. I found some classes that the county offers for free. It is a long class, 8:30 – 1:30 on a Saturday. But you learn everything CPR related. That can’t hurt. I’ll talk to M to see if he has a preference.
Q: How long do you allow a pregnancy to last before induction?
A: If all is going well, they will induce at 41 weeks. If I get dilated and stall out around 3 cm for a week or so, they will induce after 39 weeks. This is only for normal sized babies and no health problems. I just wanted to know the policy.
Q: What do I need to do for cord blood donation?
A: Information is on this website. I think this website (you have to register) is run by a cord blood bank, so they make the donation sound like a terrible idea. We are more interested in donation, so I need to research a little more. I need to talk to my mom about this, too.
Q: Now that I’m feeling movement, when should I call if I notice a decrease in activity?
A: If I go more than a day without feeling anything, I can call and they’ll take a look at the baby. I am supposed to drink juice and then lay down to check for movement before calling (I’ve heard this everywhere). Around 24 weeks, I should start paying more attention and call if I don’t feel anything for a few hours. I’ve already noticed a pattern – I’ll have one day of crazy activity followed by a day or two of just random kicking.
Movement:
Like I said to the doctor, the kicks/punches are getting more and more regular and harder. M was able to feel one over the weekend. He’s so impatient! He’ll hold his hand there for about 10 seconds and then say he can’t feel anything. This one time, the baby had good timing and got him with a good, strong punch right in the palm of his hand.
Christmas:
Christmastime was great. We went to my parent’s house on Christmas eve and had brunch with friends and then dinner with my dad’s sister’s family. My brother and his family came over for breakfast on Christmas, my other brother and his wife came over for dinner. Then we went home so we could have M’s parents over for breakfast on Saturday. We spent Saturday afternoon at M’s aunt’s house with that entire side of the family. Then I passed out from exhaustion. Sunday and Monday were pure at-home days. We organized our closets and got rid of 7 trash bags of clothes. I moved everything I can’t wear out of reach and my closet looks empty. I have some generous friends and family! So many people gave me maternity clothes for my birthday and Christmas. I have plenty to wear for the next few months! Two people gave me maternity clothes to borrow. I had a fashion show for M. My friend’s clothes were fine, but M’s aunt’s clothes were hysterical. They were pretty old and I think that elastic may not have been invented for these clothes. She had 2 jumpsuits (I don’t know what else to call them). They were pants that kind of had a tank top attached to them? And had all the room you could ever need for a baby. I almost kept those just for the story. M would not let me take a picture.
That whole coworker situation:
{Removed so I don't have to worry about this biting me in the ass one day}
Sorry for the all over the place post! I’m caught up here now. I have 66 unread blogs in my reader!!
Bump picture to come tomorrow or the day after. I completely missed week 20!
Appointment:
I had my doctor appointment Monday at 4 pm. Only one doctor was there, so we had to wait forever. That was fine. I read a magazine and M looked at a Chesapeake Bay picture book. I’m afraid we’re going to be driving around looking for spots he found in the book. The was the first appointment for this pregnancy where I wasn’t afraid. The baby was kicking me while we were waiting, and I was so happy to be able to relax. The nurse didn’t even pause or make a face when she took my blood pressure! I gained some weight, too (although the weight might have been the gigantic pit beef sandwich I had for lunch!). The baby’s heart rate was in the 140s the entire time. We got to hear it for a while because I asked the doctor some questions and she held the Doppler on my stomach while she answered them.
My questions and answers:
Q: Can you recommend a place for infant CPR?
A: Check out the American Heart Association website. I didn’t think this was very helpful. The only thing I could find was a kit so you can learn at home. I see the good points – We could do this whenever we wanted and then pass it on to family and friends. The bad points are that you don’t have an instructor watching you to tell you if your technique is wrong. That makes me nervous. I found some classes that the county offers for free. It is a long class, 8:30 – 1:30 on a Saturday. But you learn everything CPR related. That can’t hurt. I’ll talk to M to see if he has a preference.
Q: How long do you allow a pregnancy to last before induction?
A: If all is going well, they will induce at 41 weeks. If I get dilated and stall out around 3 cm for a week or so, they will induce after 39 weeks. This is only for normal sized babies and no health problems. I just wanted to know the policy.
Q: What do I need to do for cord blood donation?
A: Information is on this website. I think this website (you have to register) is run by a cord blood bank, so they make the donation sound like a terrible idea. We are more interested in donation, so I need to research a little more. I need to talk to my mom about this, too.
Q: Now that I’m feeling movement, when should I call if I notice a decrease in activity?
A: If I go more than a day without feeling anything, I can call and they’ll take a look at the baby. I am supposed to drink juice and then lay down to check for movement before calling (I’ve heard this everywhere). Around 24 weeks, I should start paying more attention and call if I don’t feel anything for a few hours. I’ve already noticed a pattern – I’ll have one day of crazy activity followed by a day or two of just random kicking.
Movement:
Like I said to the doctor, the kicks/punches are getting more and more regular and harder. M was able to feel one over the weekend. He’s so impatient! He’ll hold his hand there for about 10 seconds and then say he can’t feel anything. This one time, the baby had good timing and got him with a good, strong punch right in the palm of his hand.
Christmas:
Christmastime was great. We went to my parent’s house on Christmas eve and had brunch with friends and then dinner with my dad’s sister’s family. My brother and his family came over for breakfast on Christmas, my other brother and his wife came over for dinner. Then we went home so we could have M’s parents over for breakfast on Saturday. We spent Saturday afternoon at M’s aunt’s house with that entire side of the family. Then I passed out from exhaustion. Sunday and Monday were pure at-home days. We organized our closets and got rid of 7 trash bags of clothes. I moved everything I can’t wear out of reach and my closet looks empty. I have some generous friends and family! So many people gave me maternity clothes for my birthday and Christmas. I have plenty to wear for the next few months! Two people gave me maternity clothes to borrow. I had a fashion show for M. My friend’s clothes were fine, but M’s aunt’s clothes were hysterical. They were pretty old and I think that elastic may not have been invented for these clothes. She had 2 jumpsuits (I don’t know what else to call them). They were pants that kind of had a tank top attached to them? And had all the room you could ever need for a baby. I almost kept those just for the story. M would not let me take a picture.
That whole coworker situation:
{Removed so I don't have to worry about this biting me in the ass one day}
Sorry for the all over the place post! I’m caught up here now. I have 66 unread blogs in my reader!!
Bump picture to come tomorrow or the day after. I completely missed week 20!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
20 Weeks!
Ohhhh-oh We’re halfway there!!!
OOOHHHH OHH! Livin’ on a prayer!!!
Take my hand and we’ll make it, I swear!
I hope that made your day. What’s better than a little Bon Jovi to light up the morning? My absolute favorite Bon Jovi song is “I Wish Everyday Could be Like Christmas” because it is true and beautiful. Bon Jovi, you speak to my soul….
Right, where was I? 20 whole weeks pregnant? With a baby that kicks me and lets me know s/he’s still there?
The good: The kicks, the flips, the acid reflux! I’m starting to feel like a real pregnant woman! I spent all weekend with a baby who wouldn’t slow down. My heart just bursts with all this activity. I could cry right now. I could cry at any second. I cry a lot because I’m so full of love and happiness this Christmas.
I loved this snowstorm over the weekend. I couldn’t shovel, so I got to follow around a 5 year old neighbor who wanted to walk around in other people’s footprints. I promise I tried to get her to not eat the icicle she picked off a car… but I kind of wanted to do it too.
M is being so cute with the snow and ice. Whenever we walk outside, he holds my hand and takes me to the car door so I won’t slip. I wish I could say this was just because of the pregnancy. It’s really because I fall down a lot anyway.
My zits seem to have cleared up. This could mean that they will come back full force just in time for Christmas. Hooray!
M and I were talking last night about how the baby can hear us. This, of course, led to us wondering if the baby can hear him fart. We will be wonderful, mature parents!
The bad: The baby barely moved at all on Monday, which had my head spinning. But the movement came back full force on Tuesday!!!
The ugly: The emotions. {Some stuff removed}
The good thing about being awake all night? Someone else was awake with me and getting a lot of exercise. I love it.
The other good thing about being so awake? I came in to work at 6:45 so I’m out of here at 3:45 pm for Christmas Vacation!!!! I probably won’t be updating over the holiday since I’ll be all over the place.
Merry, Merry Christmas!!!
OOOHHHH OHH! Livin’ on a prayer!!!
Take my hand and we’ll make it, I swear!
I hope that made your day. What’s better than a little Bon Jovi to light up the morning? My absolute favorite Bon Jovi song is “I Wish Everyday Could be Like Christmas” because it is true and beautiful. Bon Jovi, you speak to my soul….
Right, where was I? 20 whole weeks pregnant? With a baby that kicks me and lets me know s/he’s still there?
The good: The kicks, the flips, the acid reflux! I’m starting to feel like a real pregnant woman! I spent all weekend with a baby who wouldn’t slow down. My heart just bursts with all this activity. I could cry right now. I could cry at any second. I cry a lot because I’m so full of love and happiness this Christmas.
I loved this snowstorm over the weekend. I couldn’t shovel, so I got to follow around a 5 year old neighbor who wanted to walk around in other people’s footprints. I promise I tried to get her to not eat the icicle she picked off a car… but I kind of wanted to do it too.
M is being so cute with the snow and ice. Whenever we walk outside, he holds my hand and takes me to the car door so I won’t slip. I wish I could say this was just because of the pregnancy. It’s really because I fall down a lot anyway.
My zits seem to have cleared up. This could mean that they will come back full force just in time for Christmas. Hooray!
M and I were talking last night about how the baby can hear us. This, of course, led to us wondering if the baby can hear him fart. We will be wonderful, mature parents!
The bad: The baby barely moved at all on Monday, which had my head spinning. But the movement came back full force on Tuesday!!!
The ugly: The emotions. {Some stuff removed}
The good thing about being awake all night? Someone else was awake with me and getting a lot of exercise. I love it.
The other good thing about being so awake? I came in to work at 6:45 so I’m out of here at 3:45 pm for Christmas Vacation!!!! I probably won’t be updating over the holiday since I’ll be all over the place.
Merry, Merry Christmas!!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Tuesday
After all my complaining about no one congratulating us on this pregnancy, I got some Christmas cards over the weekend with little notes of excitement in them. That’s something, so I’ll take it!
One of the cards was from M’s Great Aunt J. Aunt J is a nun from Boston who is somewhere around 80 years old. If you know any nuns in their 80s, then you know that they tend to be amazing people. She sent me a prayer card for St. Gerard, the patron saint of expectant mothers. She wrote in her note how she was praying for us and all sorts of stuff that had me sobbing like a fool. She even enclosed a tissue for my tears. A few hours later, I was showing M’s mom the prayer card when a little medal fell out of the tissue. Turns out she wasn’t trying to make me cry!! I keep this with me now whenever I’m awake. If I’m wearing a low-cut shirt (which is all the time), I keep it in my pocket.
One of the cards was from M’s Great Aunt J. Aunt J is a nun from Boston who is somewhere around 80 years old. If you know any nuns in their 80s, then you know that they tend to be amazing people. She sent me a prayer card for St. Gerard, the patron saint of expectant mothers. She wrote in her note how she was praying for us and all sorts of stuff that had me sobbing like a fool. She even enclosed a tissue for my tears. A few hours later, I was showing M’s mom the prayer card when a little medal fell out of the tissue. Turns out she wasn’t trying to make me cry!! I keep this with me now whenever I’m awake. If I’m wearing a low-cut shirt (which is all the time), I keep it in my pocket.
**********
{Removed some complaining}
Another coworker brought in cornbread and came over to let me know as soon as she got here. She is concerned that I’m not big enough and wants me to eat all I can. I think I’m in love with her.
**********
Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I guess 30 isn’t so bad. Here are some pictures of my birthday snow!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Three-Zero
Thirty. Just look at that word for a minute. It even looks old. But for real? There’s no way I’m mature enough to be thirty.
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