25 weeks and a break from diapers

Everything pregnancy related is going wonderfully. I did have a moment last week when I thought the baby wasn’t moving as much, so I laid down and it responded wonderfully with lots of wiggles and kicks.

I potty trained W over the weekend, starting with a day off from work on Friday. I was pretty sure he would get it quickly, but I was expecting a lot of resistance. He has always responded to “Do you have to go potty” with a loud “NO!” and sometimes he’d shout it “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” just so I would get the point. I never pushed it. Just hoped he’d potty train himself, I guess.

Several of my internet friends successfully used the three-day bootcamp, so I decided to give it a try. I found a weekend where we didn’t have anything planned and blocked it out. I read the book a few weeks in advance to see if we needed to do any prep work – mainly we cut out the nighttime milk. I read it again last week to prepare.

And it worked like a dream. I give most of the credit to W’s age. He will be 3 in 3 weeks. He understands everything we say to him. The rest of the credit is to the methods in the book. It was totally clear on what to say, when to say things and how to explain to your kid what is going on. We actually only had 3 accidents and I could tell that it had clicked with the 3^rd accident (he stopped and told me and then finished on the toilet), which was early Friday afternoon. I kept up with it for the 2^nd day just to make sure. We decided to drop it and take a family trip to the zoo on Sunday. We didn’t have anything else planned!

I was nervous about the outing – we took 4 changes of clothes and put an incontinence pad in the carseat. It worked out perfectly, though. I had to pee constantly and just took W into the bathrooms with me. He was cool with the public toilets as long as I held onto him.

The hardest part was the physical part of getting him on and off the toilet, the bending over, the up-and-down of it all. My back was killing me each night. That probably doesn’t happen to the non-pregnant people!

The best part was the 3 days straight of just focusing on W. I found several projects on pintrest for us to do together. We read tons of books. We watched a movie. We played outside. And, well, he did yardwork. M did the mulching around the yard on Friday afternoon. W was outside with his little wheelbarrow and no pants, loading up the mulch and delivering it to the garden. He only paused for bathroom breaks!

I’m going to be one of those people that preaches this method. Everyone I know that has used it was successful. 

24 Weeks and cocoa butter

My belly smells great. I was at the mall on Saturday to get W some shoes. I was SO happy to see the lotion/soap store that I really like had re-opened in a new location. I ran in there and got some cocoa butter lotion for my belly. It had started itching and I'm trying to avoid stretch marks. I was lucky enough not to get any the first time around - maybe it was because of the lotion! Who knows. Putting it on brought back memories. I hadn't smelled that scent in nearly 3 years. 

I think you'd all be proud of me - I parked in the expectant mother parking lot at Babies R Us without hesitation. 

I had a 90 minute prenatal massage on Friday evening. It was heaven. I should probably have one every week. 

I'm about at the point where my hair has stopped falling out. Now I think I'll need to get a haircut to manage all of the hair I'm going to have for the next few months. 

My friends threw me a sprinkle this weekend. It was a surprise to me - I thought it was a sprinkle for another friend (it was for both of us!). That was awesome and a girl flew in from far away to surprise all of us. I have the best friends ever. I spent some time last night just looking at these tiny diapers and remembering how small babies are. I'm used to humongous size 6 diapers for W (by the way, I'm doing the 3-day potty training boot camp this weekend. Send me patience and good luck), so these little bitty size ones are amazing to look at. 

22 weeks and 23 weeks

Pregnancy brain made me leave my 22 week post in with the drafts, so here are two weeks at once: 

22 Weeks: 

I took off a day to recover from my cold. It was a great idea. I haven't been too busy at work and the extra sleep seemed to get me back to normal. I really struggled with taking the day off. I've been hoarding my vacation time for maternity leave. My goal is to have 3 weeks of vacation and I had some cushion built in so I could justify taking a few days before my due date, too. Then I ended up at home on Monday because W was sick. So my cushion is gone and that makes me sad. It's not a big deal, I just like knowing that I had those extra days. I probably will still take off before my due date!

I am doing great at 22 weeks. I had an appointment April 8th and the doctor had to chase the baby down to get the heartbeat - it was in the low 150s. Next appointment is the orange drink! 

I'm getting bigger. It is happening in small bursts. I have a day or two of feeling like my skin is too small and then the next day my MIL says I look bigger. My boobs are all veiny now. It is gross to see. I keep them covered! 

23 Weeks: 

I saw the baby move from the outside last night! It was awesome. M saw it, too. 

I can see now why a lot of people are one and done. I am so happy and excited about another baby, but the idea is also exhausting. Dealing with W in the mornings is hard and I know it's because I'm already tired and impatient before I see him. I'm trying my best not to take it out on him. He can be a handful, but he can also be the sweetest thing ever. I know he just doesn't understand why I can't pick him up all the time. The other reason is that W is (normally) so easy and fits so well into our daily life. It's not going to be like this with 2 kids!

Tonight I am getting out my pregnancy body pillow (my nest). I need back support at night. I think that will make me a happier person during the day!

It's not all tiredness and complaining, though. I normally feel great. And seriously, this baby is a mover. I love it. Any minute I have any doubts, I just need to sit still and I get a little poke. I feel like this pregnancy is moving way faster than W's. I guess it's because I am so focused on W that I don't have time to sit around and ponder this pregnancy. 

I have a prenatal massage scheduled for Friday and W will be spending the night with some family. That will be a great time to just sit around and ponder. I can't wait. 

21 Weeks and sick again

We've been dealing with W's cough for most of the winter. We call it Kennel Cough. I took him to the doctor on Friday and we got antibiotics for an ear infection and something that is probably a bacterial infection in his lungs (nothing serious, just the usual stuff). Since W does things like cough into my mouth and lick my eyes, I came down with everything on Saturday evening. This is nothing like what I had in January, but it's a reminder that medicine is so wonderful and that I miss it.

I went on a site visit for work last week. I pulled into an Arby's for lunch and the spot had something written on it. I pulled back out and read "Expectant Mother." I parked in another spot. What's wrong with me? I told M about it. I told him I was afraid that someone would ask me to prove it. "All you have to do is show them your belly." Who would question that anyway? I have no idea why I didn't park there. 

Our Easter weekend was very busy. I ate a ton of candy. I am gaining weight, but I don't know how much. When I park my car in the garage, my door easily cleared some wood next to the car. This past week, I opened the door and sat down. I could not close the car door because it was sitting on the wood. I knew that was coming. 

The upside of being awake with a cold is that the baby is awake, too. This little one is a mover and I love it. 

I bought my very first pregnancy-related item this weekend - maternity tank tops. It made me happy. I still haven't bought anything for this baby. Mostly because I haven't had the opportunity. We're working pretty hard on getting W's room ready. Once he is moved out of the nursery I'll get some more stuff for the baby. I'm not sure how much W will want from his room. He'll probably want all of his books and of course his stuffed animals. I'll give him the blankets that were made specifically for him, but keep the ones I got for my shower in the baby's room. 

I gave W a baby doll. He hugged it and said it needed a nap. Then he took it upstairs, put it on the floor and put a laundry basket over it. Then he jumped on the laundry basket. 

We have a lot of work to do. 

20 weeks and I am easily annoyed

20 weeks feels awesome. I get mad when all the pregnancy trackers are congratulating me on being halfway through. I thought about this with W and I still believe that I will celebrate that milestone at 22 weeks.

I'm feeling pretty good, although my body is still very aware that something is different. My back hurts if I sit or stand for too long. I pee all the time. I don't remember the aches being this bad last time, but I am 3 years older and approaching my mid-thirties... I feel my belly stretching and getting bigger too.

I've had two birth dreams already. Both of them resulted in a girl. One of them had us deciding on a middle name. That middle name sounded great in my dream. I was pleased when I woke up. Then I said it to myself and it sounded terrible. We haven't talking about names at all, but we still have our girl name from W. We like the first name, but we were never satisfied with the middle name. We need to work on that.

I guess it's no surprise that this pregnancy is harder than the first one. I don't get to spend my evenings doing whatever and my weekends are always filled with constant activity (unless I plan a day to stay home). A stay-home day doesn't mean I get to relax, though. I'm cleaning and chasing W all over the place. I'm lucky he's such a good kid, but he can be a handful. All I want to do it sit. That works really well when he wants me to read to him (but then I get sleepy). 

My patience with him used to be awesome. I could sit with him while he sat on the stairs and talked about everything EXCEPT going down the stairs. I can't do that now. I think it's a combination of me having a  shorter fuse and him being almost three. He is throwing full tantrums when he doesn't get his way and it makes me crazy. Twice in the past week, I have had to put him in his car seat while he is screaming and twisting and shouting and kicking. It's hard (physically) and I feel totally worn out over it. But I don't have an alternative. I have to go to work, I can't explain that to a 2 year old when he is crying. We've done basically the same routine since he was 10 weeks old. It's no surprise. I feel like my only option is to stick to my guns and let him know that a fit isn't going to change my plans. He also gets mad at home sometimes before dinner, but those are easier to deal with. He can scream all he wants, but I'm not changing our dinner menu to include fruit snacks. He will usually come around on that one and start eating after a while. I just have to ride that out (without wine!). I KNOW what his triggers are - tired and/or hungry. But I can't force him to eat a snack every day when we get home. I can only offer it over and over. I can't force him to take a nap on the weekends, I can only provide a restful environment. At daycare, he will sometimes fall asleep after 1.5 hours of them making him lay on the cot - sometimes. I don't have the patience for that. We actually do better on busy weekends when we spend time in the car. He'll fall asleep about 50% of the time on long rides... although we've been to parties 1.5 hours from home and have driven back without him ever even blinking. So I have a non-napper that gets super mad sometimes when he's tired. I still think I have it pretty easy.

I've been trying to prepare for the later weeks by not picking him up anymore, which can result in him lying limp on the floor because he doesn't want to walk to the bathroom. That's getting better, though. I haven't had to drag him in weeks.

My point is that I think this is going to get worse before it gets better. And I think we're going to have an interesting transition with the new baby. We have a doll that we want to give him so we can talk about the changes that are coming. I wanted to give it to him on Sunday, but we had a rough day. I'll see how he does this evening.

Ultrasound pictures

Here are a few pictures from all of the scans we've had with this baby. Some of them are very unique. I 'd say the 9 week one is not really identifiable as a baby. But I love them all!

6 weeks, 5 days

9 weeks, 5 days

NT Scan: 11 weeks, 3 days

Anatomy Scan: 19 weeks, 3 days

19 Weeks and an Anatomy scan

I reached 19 weeks over the weekend. We went to an indoor water park. I figured it would be a while before we could go on a little family vacation again, so I found a deal and took us away for 3 days. W had his own special kind of fun, which meant he spent most of his time playing with a steering wheel attached to a pole and watched everyone else. He said he had a great time. I was so happy to get some time to just be with him. Whenever we're home, we're always doing so much. On vacation, it's just the three of us and we could just talk to W and hang out. I loved it. 

I was able to wear my normal bathing suit. But I looked terrible. Like I have a huge gut. My belly did not look cute in my suits. I look very cute in maternity shirts! I didn't worry about it too much. I took pictures with W and placed him in front of me. You can barely see my body! Perfect. 

My back is starting to hurt if I don't support my belly while sleeping. I'm having trouble getting up when sitting on the floor. It's been spread around daycare that I am waddling (I'm not!). This baby is a little mover and if M had any patience, I think he'd be able to feel the flips from the outside. 

Our anatomy scan was Tuesday afternoon. I went in MUCH calmer than I was with W. I knew the baby was growing and I knew the baby was moving. I could only hope that we'd see a healthy baby. And we did! The baby's head is measuring right on time. The tech never took any time to look to see if the baby is a boy or a girl. I'm assuming she saw something, but just didn't point it out (we didn't want to know). I consider myself pretty good at identifying the parts because I see a lot of ultrasound pictures, but I couldn't tell anything. I saw some "stuff" that could easily be an umbilical cord and I don't even know if we were looking at the body or the head at that moment. She said it is about 11 oz, which is also perfect. I counted heart chambers while she was checking them. We saw a stomach and kidneys (or at least the tech saw them) and a brain. We couldn't get a good shot of the face and part of the brain, so the tech left to talk to the doctor while we waited for the baby to move around a bit. 

When she left, M asked me if everything was OK. I told him that we saw a great heart and the tech never seemed concerned and she never stopped talking, which usually meant it went well. When she came back, we got to see the face and she got a few more brain measurements. The doctor came in and told us the baby looked great. Not even one tiny spot of concern. I am thrilled and relieved.

This was the time with W where I really started to let my guard down. Everything is as good as it can be right now. I pulled out my scrapbook and we compared pictures of this baby to W's pictures. It looks very different - the head shape and the profile are less similar than I was expecting. W looked with us and asked to look at my belly again. He still doesn't see a baby when he looks at my belly button. 

I'm going to post all of the ultrasound photos in a separate post.

18 Week appointment

W was sick yesterday, so M couldn't come to the appointment with me. He stayed at home all day with the little guy because I have a deadline at work this week that is coming up fast. MIL ended up coming with me. I wasn't worried because this baby is a mover, but I still can't take the idea of going to one of these appointments alone. 

I got there and had to pee so bad. I don't know why I do that to myself. I almost forgot to pee in the cup. I remembered at the last second and pretty much peed all over my hand (not the first time). The nurse said that people forget all the time. 

Our appointment was fast and perfect. The baby's heart rate was 156. The doctor told me a repeat c-section would be scheduled right around my due date, so I won't be getting to 41 weeks with this one. That's a relief! MIL was very involved. She stood next to me and pushed on my belly when the doctor did it. I think a lot of people would be annoyed about that, but I know she's very excited and it didn't bother me. She started crying when we heard the heartbeat. It's been a rough week for her with SIL's miscarriage and then M's grandfather passed away over the weekend. I was very happy I could provide a moment of happiness in the middle of all this. 

The funeral services for Ms grandfather will be Wednesday and Thursday. I'm worried about SIL will feel during everything. It will be the first time we see some family members since the baby announcement and I'm sure lots of them will be gushing about it. Hopefully I can redirect their attention and keep the baby talk to a minimum. I'm going to talk to her about it beforehand. I wish I could tell everyone to just not talk about it! 

My next regular appointment is April 8th. Our anatomy scan is March 19th in the afternoon. 

18 weeks

18 weeks is a fun time. I spent the "snow" day on Wednesday cleaning out my closet and doing the official switch to maternity clothes. I'm looking for more GAP tank tops because the girls seem ready to slap people in the face. I need more coverage than I'm getting from the typical maternity tank tops. I'm trying not to buy more clothes, but I've kept wearing maternity tank tops with my regular clothes.

The cool thing about feeling little jabs and pokes is that I'm keeping positive. The bad thing about little jabs and pokes is that whenever I don't feel them, I freak out. So I'm alternating between awesome happiness and total mopiness.

I feel like my body is changing faster this time. I guess that makes sense, but I'm already struggling to get off the floor and I don't think I should be acting like this. I should still be spry and running all over the place. I'm sure this has a lot to do with the long dark winter and my total lack of physical activity.

Speaking of activity, I did get out my prenatal exercise DVDs. I moved them from the box of maternity clothes to a shelf near the TV. That's progress.

My next appointment is on Monday afternoon.

Things with my SIL are looking as good as they can at this point. This past week has been hell for her and her husband. As of now, her numbers have finally started dropping and we're hoping she can avoid all interventions and this whole thing can be done. It's hard to grieve when you don't even know what's happening with your body. I guess I've been lucky that I've never gone more than a day without knowing exactly what happened. So we're all getting through that.

It’s not about me this time

This is the first time the table has turned. It’s always been about how I feel when the people around me are pregnant and how I feel because I’m not. We spent yesterday evening with my SIL and BIL while they dealt with the aftermath from Friday’s blood draw. Her numbers didn’t go up by much at all and the bleeding has gotten worse. An ultrasound didn’t find a sack. Now she’s going to have a few more blood draws and those follow up appointments that seem to be a punishment for everything.

It hurts.

I’m not going to make this about my pain, but I am sad about all this means for our family. I’d started daydreaming about two little cousins in matching outfits and pictures with me and SIL and huge bellies. I even was a little jealous in a happy way. It was going to be great.

I’m doing the best I can to be the person that I always needed. I have some great models. I have a friend who has always said and done the right thing and another friend whose pregnancy never made me feel upset. I’m also going to remember everything that I felt towards pregnant people in my life. Really, it’s not going to be hard for me. Since I’ve lived through this so many times myself, I’ve always tried to be mindful of who is around me and how they might be feeling (because you don’t always know). You’ll never hear me complain (except for here and I try to limit it even then) or say one word negative about this baby. I am grateful every day for what I have.

I hope and hope that this will be the only hardship they will face on their way to a baby. I remember very clearly how scary it is to have this happen and all the questions and fears I had when this happened to me. You are told how common it is, but it doesn’t make any difference. Within the next few weeks, several people will announce their pregnancies and you will pretend to be happy.  You’ll remember at the worst times and have to do everything to not cry.

And then, to make it all worse, your sister in law is pregnant and you have to see her at every family function.

I promise to be there for you. I promise to do everything I can to help you through this. You will get through it.

17 weeks and heartache

First of all, I’m 17 weeks and still doing fantastic. The flutters have changed into flipping and tapping. Perfect little moves to make my heart happy. Today I am sitting at work in full maternity gear. I look a little silly in the maternity shirts, but I look like a fat fatty in regular clothes. I have 2-3 regular shirts that are flowy and look very nice, but I can’t wear them all week at work. I need to really sort out clothes this weekend. My closet in the new house is a mess anyway – I hate the layout and the space isn’t efficient at all. I’ll have to clean it out a bit to make room for the new clothes. I am thrilled to have this problem.

Last night, my Brother in law and Sister in Law came over. It was a spur of the moment visit. To make a long story short, SIL is very newly pregnant and bleeding. They are terrified. I spent a long time talking to her and explaining all that happened to me. It’s so scary. I wanted to hug her and cry, but I kind of went into factual mode – I can talk very plainly about the facts of my miscarriage. And when I was going through them, I never wanted anyone to talk to me about my feelings (I did that all here). So I kind of have a wall between me and emotional miscarriage talk. The good thing is that she is still getting dark, positive pregnancy tests. Any time I’ve have bleeding, the tests were either negative or faint when the bleeding started. Today she went for a second blood draw and won’t know the results until Monday. That is so long to wait. That’s all I can really think about right now. 

15 Weeks and Maternity Jeans

I pulled out my maternity jeans yesterday. My regular jeans still fit, but they won't stay up. That doesn't make much sense, but my belly is up high and I guess I wear my pants higher than I used to! Maternity jeans are wonderful. 

I am officially feeling the baby move around. I could really feel movement last night at dinner. It is a great feeling!

My face is disgusting. Zits everywhere... perhaps there is a girl in there? That's what everyone tells me. But my face was disgusting with W, too. I don't put much faith in the old wives tales. 

14 Weeks and a heartbeat!

We had a great appointment yesterday! We didn't have to wait long and the doctor found the heartbeat right away. It was in the 160s and steady. I am still giddy about it!

After that, she threw me a curve ball. She asked, "Have you thought about delivery?" I couldn't believe she was bringing it up so early. I almost couldn't answer. Since M and I have only talked about VBAC a little and do not agree on it, I had her explain everything. The office lines up right with what I want. If I go into labor on my own, I can try to push the baby out. They will not induce me. I will have a C-section date scheduled. I am so happy they are supportive. I would LOVE to have a VBAC. I don't want to spend days in the hospital again. I don't want to deal with the recovery while having W and a baby around.

Of course, if it comes down to it, I'll be ok with another c-section. I'm not worried about it. They say planned ones are easier and recovery is better. And I'll have so much fiber in me that the poop thing is NOT going to be an issue (right?).

I think M feels better about it now. I'll send him some articles I have so he can be informed. His main issue is going through all the labor and pushing and ending up with the surgery anyway. It could still happen. But it won't be as bad as last time. If I do go into labor, we'll be at home for a while.

Telling our friends over the weekend was fun. We had W in a big brother t-shirt and lots of them didn't notice. They read the shirt and didn't get it! It was funny. We're slowly telling everyone now. I'm telling my coworkers at an office lunch today. M is telling his coworkers. I had W wear his t-shirt to daycare today. We still have to tell our siblings. We just can't get to see them! M's brother has been sick and my brothers are out of state (we'll see them in two weeks). I feel bad that they are finding out last, but they don't have to know that other people know!

Second Trimester!

Here I am! Thirteen weeks and three days. Officially done with the first trimester. I can't wait to not be sleepy. 

My appointment is on Thursday. I wish I could just fast forward and get there. I go back and forth between excitement and absolute grim fear. I feel like I made it worse by telling people over the weekend. 

I've decided the squirmy feelings are my complete craziness and I can't use them as a way to feel happy anymore. Will I feel better after this appointment? I will be 13 weeks and 5 days. I won't really be past the 14 week 3 day mark that I consider to be the milestone. But then again, I'm fairly sure that my November baby died right around 13 weeks. 

I'll probably be able to talk myself out of being confident after this appointment. I'm not going to feel good until I feel this baby moving for real. 

13 weeks and a Super weekend

Things are getting very exciting here in Maryland. Every person I see is wearing purple, including W. We typically haven't been huge Raven's fans, but we follow them and we have lots of family members who are crazy about them. I've been getting more into them this past year - one of the players was involved in helping the historic area of my town after a train accident. In October, the Ravens really showed a ton of support for the Orioles as they made it to the post season, so I started liking them even more. And now we're headed to the Super Bowl! We've decided to tell our friends about the baby at the party. The shirt I'll be wearing is a little tight around the belly... plus everyone will wonder why I'm not drinking all the Bud Light Lime in the house. 

We're hosting M's family for dinner on Saturday night. I'm trying to make it into a little Raven's pep rally. We decided we'll tell them all at dinner with W wearing his Big Brother shirt (I need to put it out and wash it tonight). I can't believe we're telling so soon. I didn't want to, but then I really DO want to. I want to celebrate this. I'm tired of hiding our ultrasound picture whenever M's brother comes over. I want everyone to be happy with us. I'm still scared to tell because we told with our November baby right at this same time. He was most likely already dead when we started telling. 

I have to keep repeating to myself, "Telling people does not make the baby die." Why is it so hard to believe that? 

The squirmy feelings keep happening. Always in the same place. Always very small. I have to be very still. I've also been having lots of gas feeling, but those move around and are up in my belly. This little feeling is right at my uterus. So that's great and adding to my confidence. In fact, it is happening right now!

Most of my other symptoms have started to fade. I've stayed awake past 9:30 for several nights in a row. I'm eating more. I'm still drinking as much juice as I can get my hands on. 

My next appointment is Thursday the 7th. That is my super-scariest appointment so I'll probably be talking crazy next week. I'll be out of the first trimester on Tuesday. I am still in complete disbelief and happier than ever. 

12 Weeks and a short week

I don't have much to update since this week was really just a few days. I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow. That's a huge deal. I can't believe it. 

Sometimes, when I'm laying in bed, I can feel things happening way down there. Maybe it feels like someone living down there. And it's way early for that. I don't care if it's too early. It makes me happy. I checked to see when this first happened with W and it was sometime around 15 weeks. They say things happen earlier in your next pregnancy, so maybe this is it. During the NT scan, I could see the baby moving and didn't feel a single thing. So maybe I'm just crazy. 

I don't mind being crazy. 

11 weeks and the NT scan

We had out NT scan this morning. It was different than the other ones I had. This one started with a meeting. We had already met with the genetic counselor in November so I thought this was some sort of follow up. It wasn't. It is standard practice at the hospital now. They actually explain exactly what they are looking for in the ultrasound. I learned a few new things. 

Then we headed in for the scan. I had a good feeling about this today, but that didn't stop my nerves. I hated the scanning of my ovaries and all those measurements where I could vaguely see a baby pass by on the screen. During one of the measurements I thought I saw the baby move, so I started to calm down a bit. After she started to focus on the baby, I just couldn't stop smiling. We saw a beautiful baby measuring 11 weeks, 5 days. It took a while for the baby to get in a good position so we got an extra long look and the baby kept moving. We saw hands and feet and that perfect heartbeat. The heart rate was 171 and I sometimes couldn't take my eyes off of that. 

We were able to clearly see a nasal bone and the fold measurement was within the normal range (I think it was 0.7 mm, but that's just based on what I saw on the screen). 

Because of this ultrasound, I'm going to revise my due date to August 10th, which is what the doctor has for me anyway. It reduces my confusion and gives me 3 extra days that I got to skip over! 

I feel so lucky and blessed today. It is starting to feel real. This could actually happen. M and I had some time in the ultrasound room while we waited for the official results. It was the first time we talked about some future for this baby. He is still adamant about having another C-section (I told him we needed to talk to the doctor about that). He said he wouldn't mind finding out if the baby is a boy or girl (we're not finding out). We talked about some changes we want to make to the nursery (we agree on that!). 

As for me, my terrible cold is winding down. I'm still coughing, but I haven't peed my pants in days. I was able to stay up late enough to watch the Ravens win on Sunday and then I stayed up past 9 pm yesterday to see the beautiful Mrs. Obama dance at one of the balls. 

I'm so happy today!

10 weeks and I'm still sick

I don't have much to update. I'm 10 weeks! Everything is still the same. I'm still sick and I'm still very tired. I don't have anything interesting to say about either one. 

I think I need to start taking belly pics soon. My clothes all still fit, but I think that's only because I'm losing weight from being sick. 

Last night, W took the ultrasound picture off the table and looked at it for a few minutes. I was waiting to see what he would say, but he just carefully put the picture back. That's not normal for him. He usually asks about everything he sees and then insists on putting the pictures where he can see it at all times. We have one of those digital frames with a stool in front of it so he can stand there and identify everyone in the picture as it changes. We still haven't told him about the baby. I think we'll tell him about 10 minutes before we tell the rest of the world. I have a big brother t-shirt that I ordered. I couldn't resist. If all goes well, we'll start telling after our appointment on Feb 7th. 

Next appointment is the NT scan on the 22nd. I will be 11 weeks that day. I feel like it is too early, but I guess they wouldn't offer it at 11 weeks unless they could see what they needed! 

9 week ultrasound

The appointment today had a lot of waiting. We were early and the office wasn't even open yet. We had to sit in my car and play on our phones until we saw the door unlock. The nurse stuff was normal. I've lost 4 pounds since the last appointment (this cold means I'm not very interested in dessert). Then we waited in the office for about 20 minutes before the doctor came in. Usually we sit in silence because I can't talk about anything, but we spent the wait time discussing dinner for our anniversary. We're going to Baltimore on Friday night and taking W to the in-laws for a sleepover. I'm excited. 

By the time the doctor showed up, I was actually pretty calm. I was very afraid before because the weird cloudy pee was not there on Tuesday (it was back on Wednesday). She tried an external ultrasound, but there was only blur. I did not worry about this because I didn't think you could really see anything at this point. Then she went for the inside ultrasound and kept the screen turned away from me. I'm not really into that, but M could see. I watch his face and he started to smile and then he nodded for me. Hooray! We got a quick little picture and the baby is measuring perfectly (which means a little ahead because they consider me due 3 days before I do). I didn't get to see much on the screen, but my picture is a little peanut with a placenta, body and either horns, arms or legs. I can't tell. It is beautiful. 

Next appointment is the First Trimester Screening on the 22nd. 

I'm very happy. 

9 weeks and I'm sick

I have the worst cold/cough/sinus infection ever in the universe. It is terrible. Poor, poor, sick miserable me. I’ve been to the doctor twice and I’m finally on an antibiotic. Today is the first day this YEAR that I didn’t wake up thinking that all would be easier if I just cut my head off. So it sucks.

I haven’t thought much about the pregnancy this week. I did consider calling the OB and asking for an ultrasound to make sure the kid is still in there. If I go in on Thursday and don’t see a baby, I’m going to be extra mad because of the misery I’ve been through and the lack of good medication during this illness. I don’t feel pregnant at all right now because I can only concentrate on trying to breathe.

Sunday was the worst night of all of this. I gave in and took some medicated nose spray. It gave me 3 hours of sleep, and it was great. I feel guilty about it and try to justify it, but I can’t really. It was selfish of me. But oh, it was so nice to sleep! I have been taking cough syrup every night. I don’t want to take too much, so I only let myself take it at night. That means I’m a delight all day!

Anyway, I’m sorry for complaining so much. Our next appointment is Thursday morning. Someday I will be not-so-sick.