Lots of my blog buddies are talking about their parenting styles. This made me sit down and try to define mine. I don’t think I subscribe to any one theory completely. If I need to define myself, I would say I’m a “What to Expect the first year” parent. I keep up on a few development books and apply what I like. I listen to podcasts and read blogs and discussion boards. I do research everything, thanks to a job in front of a computer. And I’m not bashing anything or anyone. If your kid is happy then you’re doing it right. No, wait… if your name is Farrah or Amber and you’re on TV, you are doing it wrong. (While we’re on the subject - Maci, girl, you are going to be a success story. And Caitlynn, I want to hug you. Your mom is mean. I have no idea how you came out so good. Keep at it. I’m sorry to tell you this, but Tyler is a pussy.) I mainly wrote this all out so I can look back when W was older and laugh at myself or pat myself on the back. Or even (hopefully) to remind myself of everything when we are doing this a second time.
W does not have a schedule. He has a routine, but mostly does whatever we think he wants to do. For the first month or two he fed on demand for as long as he wanted. I eventually started pulling him off after 20-25 minutes because I was so sore. He now eats every 3-3.5 hours for about 20 minutes at a time. We do go longer in the evening, sometimes he’ll be napping and we’ll realize that’s we went 4 hours or more without feeding him. Then he’ll start crying when I’m pulling my shirt up. Like we reminded him that he might be hungry. Other times he’ll try to nurse from M after just an hour or so. He’s been sleeping through the night since he was 2 months old. I do wake him up/dreamfeed around 10 pm. I’m not sure if he needs it, but if it ain’t broke…
Naps are just whenever he seems like it’s nap time. We shoot for 3 a day. He’ll get more if we drive somewhere. He doesn’t like to sleep with anything going on. He will drift off if we put him in the pack and play, but not in his crib. He doesn’t like to go to sleep if M is holding him. He can fight sleep with M for 30 minutes and then pass out the second he’s in my arms. It’s because I’m boring.
Daycare also doesn’t have a schedule. Once he moves to the walking room they do have structured naptimes and meals. I’ll keep to that on the weekends to make life easier for all of us.
I wear him if he’s really fussy. But I can’t do it a lot. Sometimes I think it’s better to let him fuss for 10 minutes while I do my chore and then cuddle. Most of my chores are laundry and washing bottles. I can’t do either of those with somebody pinching my neck and slobbering on me (not always the baby). I use a Baby Bjorn and a Babyhawk. The Babyhawk is cuter and was great when he was tiny. I use that around the house. The Baby Bjorn is better when we’re out because we can get him out in seconds and M likes it. We’re lucky to have both.
W goes with us almost everywhere. We take him out to dinner. We take him to the grocery store. He goes to parties. We started doing that as soon as I could leave the house. We’re trying to not be “those parents” and only take him places where kids are appropriate. Last weekend we went out to dinner and talked about going to a place we really like with awesome crab dip. Then we talked more about the slow service and the crowd, so we opted for our neighborhood pizza place instead. We take him to the “fancy” places on weeknights (but not that often… the cost of daycare means the pizza place is better for the budget).
W is in a daycare center. He still knows I’m his mommy and he isn’t sick all the time (actually, just a few colds… but flu season hasn’t hit yet). I'm kind of defensive about this because I live in a SAHM community. I got a lot of pity looks when I said he would be in daycare.
I use disposable diapers. I wish I used cloth and I have tons of excuses. The main one is daycare. I just switched to cloth nursing pads. I should have done it ages ago.
I don’t care if W sees TV. I don’t sit him down in front of it, but if he’s in the room with a huge TV, he’s going to see it. And he likes watching football. I try to keep him engaged with toys or read to him when we’re watching it. If I’m doing chores, I have him in the kitchen with me. This will evolve as he becomes mobile.
W isn’t circumcised, but for all the wrong reasons. He has a twisty thing going on and will have surgery in November to fix it. Even if weren’t planning on circumcising, we’d have it done to correct the twistyness. I’ve gotten advice from everyone about how to care for the little guy and most of it was wrong. I even started doubting myself. Once I consulted a Hopkins urologist about it, the comments stopped. I’m pretty neutral about the whole thing. I think that by the time W gets to school, both ways will be acceptable. M wanted it done, so that’s what we’re doing.
We don’t co-sleep, but I understand it and sometimes wish we did. I’m a light sleeper and I’ve been known to act out my dreams. I once pinched M so hard that he cried a little. I was trying to escape from something in a dream. M will startle in his sleep and roll onto anything. I don’t want to subject W to any of that. Plus I like to cuddle with M! We do have family time on weekend mornings. W eats around 6:30 and stays in bed after that. I’m just drifting in and out of sleep at that time and it is a great feeling to wake up and see that drooly face smiling at me.
We don’t cry it out. I say this with an asterisk because we’ve never needed to do it. W rarely cries, so if he is crying at night it’s because something is wrong. We’ve had screams in the middle of the night that went away with a few minutes of cuddles. I have trouble getting myself back to sleep and I’m 30. I can’t expect my 5 month old to do it. I don’t always rush to him – this is where the video monitor comes in handy. Usually he’ll wake up and look around and find his thumb and go back to sleep in a few minutes. Other times, he’ll wake up and find his thumb and stay awake. I can watch him and decide if he needs me. I like that. I’m a new breed of parent that hovers over the kid on the video screen. One night he was making loud sucking sounds and wouldn’t go back to sleep, so I was watching him and thinking about going in to rock him so that I could get some sleep. I noticed his sleeve was covering his thumb. I snuck into his room and released the thumb. All was well!
I guess this opens up another thing: I have a thumb sucker. And I'm proud of it. We sleep.
And of course we don’t have any type of discipline right now. He punches me in the face all the time and pulls my hair and pinches whatever he grabs, but you can’t yell at him for that. He just wants to get close and put my face in his mouth. And really, if I give in and let him pull me in for the slobber fest and lose some hair… it’s so worth it.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
A Major Award
I won a prize! It’s awesome.
Cape Girl had a contest to guess Jackson’s weight. I won because I am super-awesome. It showed up and M was so excited. He kept looking at the box and talking about my major award and how it could be anything! We are a little obsessed with A Christmas Story...
Here is a picture:
Cape Girl had a contest to guess Jackson’s weight. I won because I am super-awesome. It showed up and M was so excited. He kept looking at the box and talking about my major award and how it could be anything! We are a little obsessed with A Christmas Story...
Here is a picture:
I won some salt water taffy (yum!) some cranberry jelly, a cool cape cod towel (M spent a lot of time examining this), funny cookie cutters (M thought the fish was a tree) and -my favorite- a little oyster ornament.
I can’t wait to put the ornament on our Christmas tree. I always get ornaments when we go places so we can remember important parts of our lives. Now I have this little reminder that I have so many friends out there in the world. You are all a big part of my life. It might be weird to say, but I feel so close to a bunch of you! It's hard for me to get through a day without thinking of some of you. I talk about you to M and he knows about your lives. Little things happen to me and they remind me of one of you.
We gave W some cereal on Saturday. He didn’t care. I’ve read that babies aren’t ready for the solids if they push the food out with their tongue and don’t eat any of it. That’s about right. We’ll try again in a week. It was so cute to watch him try.
Here is the requested picture of a messy baby. Check out that huge thigh!!!
[adorable picture removed]
Friday, October 1, 2010
BFN - and happy about it!
I’m back to POAS all the time.
Not because I want another baby right now! My hands are full. But because I’m in this no-woman’s land of no AF and the birth control with all these warning about taking it at the EXACT same time every day and the failure rate on the package is higher than the regular pill. It’s freaking me out. Combine that with feeling kind of queasy a few mornings this week and you’ve got a full on panic attack!
So I ordered a ton of internet cheapies so I could test every 2 weeks until we start trying again. Last night I took the first one. It was a perfect, clear, unquestionable negative and I had a nice sigh of relief. Anyway, the packaging made me laugh a little. Here I am buying tests in hopes that I’ll get a ton of negatives and I get pamphlets on OPKs and even a temporary tattoo with *~Baby Dust~* all over it. I asked M if he wanted to wear it. Nope.
I’m now blaming my crummy feelings on something going around. I have a kid in daycare. It’s about time that I get a bug.
Hooray! So, having a 4 month old is still pretty awesome. He’s such a great kid. I get all kinds of compliments from the daycare ladies about how good he is. He likes hanging out and playing with books. He does not like The Little Engine That Could and cries when I read it. This makes me sad because it’s my favorite kid book. He does really like The Belly Button Book and that one is fun to read. Every day with him is amazing. M loves him so much – I love to watch them together. We’ve figured out that M is the fun one and I’m the comforting one. W will fall right to sleep in my arms, but struggle to stay awake with M and watch him make faces. I love that he can grab toys now and will take stuffed animals when I hand them to him. We’re going to give him some cereal this weekend just to see how he’ll react.
I’m so happy to read about how so many of you are so close to babies – and one brand new baby today. I can’t believe how far we’ve come!
Not because I want another baby right now! My hands are full. But because I’m in this no-woman’s land of no AF and the birth control with all these warning about taking it at the EXACT same time every day and the failure rate on the package is higher than the regular pill. It’s freaking me out. Combine that with feeling kind of queasy a few mornings this week and you’ve got a full on panic attack!
So I ordered a ton of internet cheapies so I could test every 2 weeks until we start trying again. Last night I took the first one. It was a perfect, clear, unquestionable negative and I had a nice sigh of relief. Anyway, the packaging made me laugh a little. Here I am buying tests in hopes that I’ll get a ton of negatives and I get pamphlets on OPKs and even a temporary tattoo with *~Baby Dust~* all over it. I asked M if he wanted to wear it. Nope.
I’m now blaming my crummy feelings on something going around. I have a kid in daycare. It’s about time that I get a bug.
Hooray! So, having a 4 month old is still pretty awesome. He’s such a great kid. I get all kinds of compliments from the daycare ladies about how good he is. He likes hanging out and playing with books. He does not like The Little Engine That Could and cries when I read it. This makes me sad because it’s my favorite kid book. He does really like The Belly Button Book and that one is fun to read. Every day with him is amazing. M loves him so much – I love to watch them together. We’ve figured out that M is the fun one and I’m the comforting one. W will fall right to sleep in my arms, but struggle to stay awake with M and watch him make faces. I love that he can grab toys now and will take stuffed animals when I hand them to him. We’re going to give him some cereal this weekend just to see how he’ll react.
I’m so happy to read about how so many of you are so close to babies – and one brand new baby today. I can’t believe how far we’ve come!
Monday, August 30, 2010
100 Days!
Everyone loves a reason to celebrate! Last Friday a coworker asked me when W would turn 100 days old and I realized it would be on Saturday. Woo-hoo! We didn’t miss it!
We went to the beach this weekend, so we were with a lot of my family. My parents invited everyone over to happy hour to celebrate. Some people were meeting W for the first time. My sister in law and niece showed up unexpectedly, which was wonderful. I love spending time with them, especially time when we can just sit around and talk. They were the only ones excited about the 100 days thing anyway. I put W on his boppy and laid out a pen, a paintbrush, a coin, my professional seal and a calculator (these are not the exact things you are supposed to lay out… we improvised). Whichever one he chooses is supposed to be his future. He looked at everything and slapped his hand on the calculator. So we’ve got a numbers guy. Not surprising… he’s got two engineers for parents.
The beach was wonderful. We spent most of Saturday and Sunday out there. We dug a chair in the sand so W could look around and watch the kids playing in the water. He slept when we put him in his tent. He ate when I pulled out my boob. The beach is the only place that I’ve ever nursed in public. I don’t feel as self-conscious there. An advertising plane flew above us on Saturday that said “Babies are born to breastfeed!” and M got very excited and pointed at it. He said it was up there for me.
We stopped for crabs on the way home and I learned some valuable lessons. One - Don’t put the baby next to Dad if you’re eating something messy. He barely wiped the Old Bay from his fingers when he started to dig the pacifier out to ease W’s fussing. I’m sure W would love a little zing with his plastic… The second is that crabs taste a bajillion times better when someone else picks them. We ordered 6 crabs for an appetizer and crab cakes for our dinner. I’m a slow picker, so I ate 2 while M ate all three of his. Then we realized that we had a bonus crab (!!). M had a fourth while I fed W (from a bottle – I’m not ready to NIP at the crab deck!). We saved the bonus crab for dessert. I held W while M picked. He’d give me every other piece and it was heaven. Perfection. I love crabs!!
And everything with W is still going great. I’m getting more comfortable with the daycare thing and pumping is still ok. W is having a growth spurt now and I’m not adding much to my freezer stash and barely keeping up with him. He’s holding his head up and starting to play with his toys. Everything is so amazing with him.
We went to the beach this weekend, so we were with a lot of my family. My parents invited everyone over to happy hour to celebrate. Some people were meeting W for the first time. My sister in law and niece showed up unexpectedly, which was wonderful. I love spending time with them, especially time when we can just sit around and talk. They were the only ones excited about the 100 days thing anyway. I put W on his boppy and laid out a pen, a paintbrush, a coin, my professional seal and a calculator (these are not the exact things you are supposed to lay out… we improvised). Whichever one he chooses is supposed to be his future. He looked at everything and slapped his hand on the calculator. So we’ve got a numbers guy. Not surprising… he’s got two engineers for parents.
The beach was wonderful. We spent most of Saturday and Sunday out there. We dug a chair in the sand so W could look around and watch the kids playing in the water. He slept when we put him in his tent. He ate when I pulled out my boob. The beach is the only place that I’ve ever nursed in public. I don’t feel as self-conscious there. An advertising plane flew above us on Saturday that said “Babies are born to breastfeed!” and M got very excited and pointed at it. He said it was up there for me.
We stopped for crabs on the way home and I learned some valuable lessons. One - Don’t put the baby next to Dad if you’re eating something messy. He barely wiped the Old Bay from his fingers when he started to dig the pacifier out to ease W’s fussing. I’m sure W would love a little zing with his plastic… The second is that crabs taste a bajillion times better when someone else picks them. We ordered 6 crabs for an appetizer and crab cakes for our dinner. I’m a slow picker, so I ate 2 while M ate all three of his. Then we realized that we had a bonus crab (!!). M had a fourth while I fed W (from a bottle – I’m not ready to NIP at the crab deck!). We saved the bonus crab for dessert. I held W while M picked. He’d give me every other piece and it was heaven. Perfection. I love crabs!!
And everything with W is still going great. I’m getting more comfortable with the daycare thing and pumping is still ok. W is having a growth spurt now and I’m not adding much to my freezer stash and barely keeping up with him. He’s holding his head up and starting to play with his toys. Everything is so amazing with him.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Zippers
I’m wearing pants that button and zip today. I’m not saying I’m in my skinny jeans or anything, but I’m getting there. 5 more pounds and I’ll be at my pre-pregnancy weight. 10 more pounds and I’ll be at my happy weight. Since we joke about the last 5 pounds being the hardest, M has told me I should shoot for 5 pounds less than my happy weight – I’m hoping his idea works!
I walked almost every morning on maternity leave. I started slow, but worked up to over an hour every day. If it was too hot or raining, I went to the mall and chugged around and prided myself on not eating anything from the food court (torture!!). I gained weight from my 2 week incision check to my 6 week check. The nurse asked me if I was breastfeeding. When I said yes she was surprised, “Oh? You gained weight.” Hahaha. Fantastic. I’ve read that nursing moms store fat in case of a famine. I guess that means we’ll get through the next round of potato blight.
Now I can’t walk as much because I have chores to do at night (washing bottles) and I want to spend as much time as possible cuddling. M is a fitness guy. He runs, he lifts weights, he doesn’t add salt to anything and won’t eat hamburger helper (you know the type). He tried to get me to do his exercises, but it didn’t work out. I thought it was boring and I wasn’t good at the “flex your muscles and make a tough face” part. So now I’m doing a post natal rescue DVD. It’s not awful. W watches me. It takes 15 minutes. I don’t know if it’s doing anything… I’m on the second step. I’ll let you know if I ever get to the third one.
I’m hoping a bunch of this weight is in my boobs. I KNOW some of it is in my stomach. I’ve got a little pot belly that is preventing me from getting into lots of my pants. My boobs are preventing me from getting into shirts. I had trouble with button-up shirts anyway. Now I have to stay away from those even more. I put one on this morning and I looked like I was trying to be some comic-book office girl all busting out. Hot? Nope.
I walked almost every morning on maternity leave. I started slow, but worked up to over an hour every day. If it was too hot or raining, I went to the mall and chugged around and prided myself on not eating anything from the food court (torture!!). I gained weight from my 2 week incision check to my 6 week check. The nurse asked me if I was breastfeeding. When I said yes she was surprised, “Oh? You gained weight.” Hahaha. Fantastic. I’ve read that nursing moms store fat in case of a famine. I guess that means we’ll get through the next round of potato blight.
Now I can’t walk as much because I have chores to do at night (washing bottles) and I want to spend as much time as possible cuddling. M is a fitness guy. He runs, he lifts weights, he doesn’t add salt to anything and won’t eat hamburger helper (you know the type). He tried to get me to do his exercises, but it didn’t work out. I thought it was boring and I wasn’t good at the “flex your muscles and make a tough face” part. So now I’m doing a post natal rescue DVD. It’s not awful. W watches me. It takes 15 minutes. I don’t know if it’s doing anything… I’m on the second step. I’ll let you know if I ever get to the third one.
I’m hoping a bunch of this weight is in my boobs. I KNOW some of it is in my stomach. I’ve got a little pot belly that is preventing me from getting into lots of my pants. My boobs are preventing me from getting into shirts. I had trouble with button-up shirts anyway. Now I have to stay away from those even more. I put one on this morning and I looked like I was trying to be some comic-book office girl all busting out. Hot? Nope.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Not forgetting
I went to see Eclipse yesterday. Finally. I’m so lame! I wore my New Moon t-shirt. I was happy to be caught up. Whew. I was excited about the previews. Why? Because I was expecting to see the Harry Potter preview. They didn’t show it. Crap heads.
What I did see was a preview for Charlie St. Cloud. It’s not a movie I want to see. I cried during the preview. Not because of the story, but how I could see myself in that role. The basic story (no spoilers – this is just the preview): Zac Efron promises his little brother that they will practice baseball together every night until Zac leaves for college. Then the little brother dies in a car accident. Zac can still see him and they play baseball every evening. Then Zac meets a girl and he starts falling in love and thinks about his brother less and less. Then the girl starts interfering with the baseball playing. The little brother gets angry.
Can you see the parallels to our lives? When I lost my baby, I promised to never forget him. I promised to love him always and think about him all the time. But then W came along. W, who is right in front of me all of the time. Who smiles at me and sleeps in my arms. When I was pregnant, I found myself thinking about the lost baby a little less. Once W was out and with me, I could go a full day without thinking about the lost baby. When I do think about him, I add in some guilt with the sadness. It’s not that I love him less, but… but… what can I say here? I love that baby, but he’s not here. I love W with every cell in my body.
I think the movie is supposed to be about moving on from your losses. I love my dead grandparents, but I don’t think of them every day. I don’t love M’s living grandparents instead of the dead ones. I don’t love W instead of my lost baby. I love them both. Am I moving on from my loss? I hope I’m not forgetting. I don’t want to ever forget, but I do think I’ve learned to live with the loss. I guess that is moving on. I am living in the now instead of the what-might-have-been.
I’m hoping that the baby boy I lost isn’t looking down on me with jealousy or anger. I hope he’s happy to see that we have such a happy family now and he’s encouraging us to fully enjoy our life as it is. I have to believe that.
What I did see was a preview for Charlie St. Cloud. It’s not a movie I want to see. I cried during the preview. Not because of the story, but how I could see myself in that role. The basic story (no spoilers – this is just the preview): Zac Efron promises his little brother that they will practice baseball together every night until Zac leaves for college. Then the little brother dies in a car accident. Zac can still see him and they play baseball every evening. Then Zac meets a girl and he starts falling in love and thinks about his brother less and less. Then the girl starts interfering with the baseball playing. The little brother gets angry.
Can you see the parallels to our lives? When I lost my baby, I promised to never forget him. I promised to love him always and think about him all the time. But then W came along. W, who is right in front of me all of the time. Who smiles at me and sleeps in my arms. When I was pregnant, I found myself thinking about the lost baby a little less. Once W was out and with me, I could go a full day without thinking about the lost baby. When I do think about him, I add in some guilt with the sadness. It’s not that I love him less, but… but… what can I say here? I love that baby, but he’s not here. I love W with every cell in my body.
I think the movie is supposed to be about moving on from your losses. I love my dead grandparents, but I don’t think of them every day. I don’t love M’s living grandparents instead of the dead ones. I don’t love W instead of my lost baby. I love them both. Am I moving on from my loss? I hope I’m not forgetting. I don’t want to ever forget, but I do think I’ve learned to live with the loss. I guess that is moving on. I am living in the now instead of the what-might-have-been.
I’m hoping that the baby boy I lost isn’t looking down on me with jealousy or anger. I hope he’s happy to see that we have such a happy family now and he’s encouraging us to fully enjoy our life as it is. I have to believe that.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
My first day back
This isn't really a commentary. More of a timeline.
3:40 am – Hear W sucking his fingers. Hope he falls back to sleep (and he does).
5:15 – Hear W sucking his fingers. Hope he wakes up soon (and he doesn’t).
5:40 – M wakes up and gets ready for work.
5:41 – Remember that today is back to work day. Try not to cry already.
6:10 – Get out of bed and have breakfast. Watch W roll around a little on monitor.
6:20 – Realize frozen milk bags did not thaw in fridge overnight. Panic.
6:21 – Put bags in cold water. They thaw in minutes. Unpanic.
6:30 – Get W’s lunch bag packed and kitchen cleaned up.
6:50 – W wakes up, change his diaper and wash his face. Cry a little on him.
6:59 – Feed W. Inspect his crevices to make sure he won’t be the dirty kid at daycare.
7:13 – W gives me the pouty lip, so I know he’s full. I cry a little because I won’t be nursing him until the evening.
7:15 – Pump and pack up that pumping bag. Pray I’m not forgetting anything.
7:30 – Shower and dressed.
7:45 – Get W dressed and ready. Try to get him to smile at me (unsuccessful) and cry.
7:50 – Pack up W and the car. W cries when I put him in the carseat, but giggles while I put on my shoes. I cry.
8:03 – Arrive at daycare. Keep calm.
8:05 – Take W out of carseat. Consider putting him back in and fleeing.
8:07 – Cry while trying to give ladies instructions. They already know all this stuff.
8:13 – Hug and kiss W. Cry.
8:14 – Give daycare more money than I will make this week.
8:20 – Get in car and cry. Call M. Cry.
8:30 – Arrive at work. Smile at coworkers. Don’t talk so I won’t cry.
8:31 – Set up pictures of W.
8:32 – Cry.
9:30 – Coworker asks what W is doing during the day. I cry.
10:00 – Call daycare. W is happy and finished his bottle.
10:10 – First pumping session. Success. No one walked in on me.
10:40 – Cry a little.
11:30 – Have to get a new tissue for a big cry.
12:49 pm – My chest hurts.
1:00 – Second pump and lunch. Pumping is making me sore.
2:20 – Count how many minutes left (190).
2:26 – Talk to M. Try not to cry. Fail.
2:31 – Stare at baby pictures.
2:52 – Call daycare. W liked the swing.
2:55 – Sit in desk chair and cry a little.
3:38 – Jealous of M who has already left work.
4:00 - Begin to wonder if W and M made it home ok.
4:03 - Last pumping session. I'm sore-er than before. Very happy I remembered to pack the Lansinoh!
4:28 - Call home and text M to see if they are home.
4:31 - M calls. They are home and happy. He gives me the rundown on W's pee and poop.
4:32 - Wish I was home.
5:21 - Daydream about going home.
5:27 - I think this day can be over. Pack up and leave. Hope I remember the milk in the fridge!
3:40 am – Hear W sucking his fingers. Hope he falls back to sleep (and he does).
5:15 – Hear W sucking his fingers. Hope he wakes up soon (and he doesn’t).
5:40 – M wakes up and gets ready for work.
5:41 – Remember that today is back to work day. Try not to cry already.
6:10 – Get out of bed and have breakfast. Watch W roll around a little on monitor.
6:20 – Realize frozen milk bags did not thaw in fridge overnight. Panic.
6:21 – Put bags in cold water. They thaw in minutes. Unpanic.
6:30 – Get W’s lunch bag packed and kitchen cleaned up.
6:50 – W wakes up, change his diaper and wash his face. Cry a little on him.
6:59 – Feed W. Inspect his crevices to make sure he won’t be the dirty kid at daycare.
7:13 – W gives me the pouty lip, so I know he’s full. I cry a little because I won’t be nursing him until the evening.
7:15 – Pump and pack up that pumping bag. Pray I’m not forgetting anything.
7:30 – Shower and dressed.
7:45 – Get W dressed and ready. Try to get him to smile at me (unsuccessful) and cry.
7:50 – Pack up W and the car. W cries when I put him in the carseat, but giggles while I put on my shoes. I cry.
8:03 – Arrive at daycare. Keep calm.
8:05 – Take W out of carseat. Consider putting him back in and fleeing.
8:07 – Cry while trying to give ladies instructions. They already know all this stuff.
8:13 – Hug and kiss W. Cry.
8:14 – Give daycare more money than I will make this week.
8:20 – Get in car and cry. Call M. Cry.
8:30 – Arrive at work. Smile at coworkers. Don’t talk so I won’t cry.
8:31 – Set up pictures of W.
8:32 – Cry.
9:30 – Coworker asks what W is doing during the day. I cry.
10:00 – Call daycare. W is happy and finished his bottle.
10:10 – First pumping session. Success. No one walked in on me.
10:40 – Cry a little.
11:30 – Have to get a new tissue for a big cry.
12:49 pm – My chest hurts.
1:00 – Second pump and lunch. Pumping is making me sore.
2:20 – Count how many minutes left (190).
2:26 – Talk to M. Try not to cry. Fail.
2:31 – Stare at baby pictures.
2:52 – Call daycare. W liked the swing.
2:55 – Sit in desk chair and cry a little.
3:38 – Jealous of M who has already left work.
4:00 - Begin to wonder if W and M made it home ok.
4:03 - Last pumping session. I'm sore-er than before. Very happy I remembered to pack the Lansinoh!
4:28 - Call home and text M to see if they are home.
4:31 - M calls. They are home and happy. He gives me the rundown on W's pee and poop.
4:32 - Wish I was home.
5:21 - Daydream about going home.
5:27 - I think this day can be over. Pack up and leave. Hope I remember the milk in the fridge!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Two Months
Two months in and I'm still loving this. W makes it easy. He's a great baby. He sleeps through the night (usually 10 pm until 7-ish). He eats great. He doesn't cry that much (unless there's a problem). We are the luckiest parents in the world. This post is kind of all over the place. Just random thoughts I've had over the few days I've been typing this.
He started sucking his fingers reliably this week, so the pacifiers are getting used less and less. Everyone has their own ideas about this, and we decided to go with fingers. W likes them best and we're not happy about having a kid with a paci in his face all the time, so fingers are best for us. We know we'll have trouble down the road getting him to stop sucking his fingers, but both ways present a challenge and the pediatrician told us to go with whatever works. The pacifier is around for when he gets so worked up that he just can't get the fingers to work. Yesterday M's family kept picking it up and shoving it in W's face. I felt like a broken record "It looks like he doesn't want that now." "Hmmm... I think he's ok without the pacifier." "I try not to give that to him if he doesn't want it." and on and on.
Breastfeeding is still going great. It doesn't hurt anymore (took about 4 weeks to get to that point) and my supply is still awesome. I have a great stash in the freezer for him. But it was hard to stick with it. Those first few weeks were tough (and I had it good!). I really admire anyone who had trouble and could still do it. And I also admire those of you who had the good sense to stop trying if it wasn't working. I get so mad at the LCs who say that BFing is SOOOO convenient! Is it convenient to have to wear breast pads everywhere? Is it convenient to not want to shower because you don't want water to touch your nipples? Is it convenient to have to go hide in a bedroom every few hours to feed the baby? Is it convenient to have to go home early from a date because you feel like you're going to pop? Is it convenient to have to pump and store all this milk? Is it convenient to not know how much your baby is eating? Is it convenient to pump 3 times a day at work? I could go on forever... But it is wonderful to be able to provide for him this way. And it's wonderful to watch him look up at me while he's eating. And I like having all that cuddle time built in. No matter who's around, I get to claim him and snuggle for as long as I want because he needs me.
[note - just read Ms J's post about breastfeeding. I agree that you don't need breastfeeding to create a bond. M LOVES giving W a bottle because of the loving looks he gets while feeding the baby. I love rocking W to sleep because of the way he tries to stay awake just to look at me. That's the bonding. Showing your baby that he is safe with you and you will give him everything he needs.]
This is my last full week off. I visited the daycare to make sure everything is ready and I have everything W needs. I'mboth upset and a little excited. I'm ready to get back to my life and having a social outlet. I feel pretty detached from everyone (online and real life). I'll have all the me time I need at work, so when I get home I can focus on W. But man, I'm going to miss him! I'm going to want to go see him during the day, but won't it be harder to drag myself away from him TWICE in one day?
Before I had W, I used to worry if I'd be a good mom. I'm pretty self centered and I need a lot of quiet alone time. M is the only person I've ever been able to be around constantly. I worried that having a baby would make me cranky. But it hasn't. I want W around me all the time. Every morning feels like Christmas. I wake up to his little noises and I want to grab him out of the bassinet and hug him tight. When people visit, I get jealous of them for getting to hold W.
I'm not sure what's going to come out of this blog now. I'm not really into being a mommy blogger. I feel like anything I could say has already been said (much better) by so many other people. It might turn into a place for me to release my frustration about being away from W all day at work.
Fair warning: There will probably be a weepy sad lonely post from work coming in the next two weeks.
Here is a baby in a pool:
[adorable picture removed]
He started sucking his fingers reliably this week, so the pacifiers are getting used less and less. Everyone has their own ideas about this, and we decided to go with fingers. W likes them best and we're not happy about having a kid with a paci in his face all the time, so fingers are best for us. We know we'll have trouble down the road getting him to stop sucking his fingers, but both ways present a challenge and the pediatrician told us to go with whatever works. The pacifier is around for when he gets so worked up that he just can't get the fingers to work. Yesterday M's family kept picking it up and shoving it in W's face. I felt like a broken record "It looks like he doesn't want that now." "Hmmm... I think he's ok without the pacifier." "I try not to give that to him if he doesn't want it." and on and on.
Breastfeeding is still going great. It doesn't hurt anymore (took about 4 weeks to get to that point) and my supply is still awesome. I have a great stash in the freezer for him. But it was hard to stick with it. Those first few weeks were tough (and I had it good!). I really admire anyone who had trouble and could still do it. And I also admire those of you who had the good sense to stop trying if it wasn't working. I get so mad at the LCs who say that BFing is SOOOO convenient! Is it convenient to have to wear breast pads everywhere? Is it convenient to not want to shower because you don't want water to touch your nipples? Is it convenient to have to go hide in a bedroom every few hours to feed the baby? Is it convenient to have to go home early from a date because you feel like you're going to pop? Is it convenient to have to pump and store all this milk? Is it convenient to not know how much your baby is eating? Is it convenient to pump 3 times a day at work? I could go on forever... But it is wonderful to be able to provide for him this way. And it's wonderful to watch him look up at me while he's eating. And I like having all that cuddle time built in. No matter who's around, I get to claim him and snuggle for as long as I want because he needs me.
[note - just read Ms J's post about breastfeeding. I agree that you don't need breastfeeding to create a bond. M LOVES giving W a bottle because of the loving looks he gets while feeding the baby. I love rocking W to sleep because of the way he tries to stay awake just to look at me. That's the bonding. Showing your baby that he is safe with you and you will give him everything he needs.]
This is my last full week off. I visited the daycare to make sure everything is ready and I have everything W needs. I'mboth upset and a little excited. I'm ready to get back to my life and having a social outlet. I feel pretty detached from everyone (online and real life). I'll have all the me time I need at work, so when I get home I can focus on W. But man, I'm going to miss him! I'm going to want to go see him during the day, but won't it be harder to drag myself away from him TWICE in one day?
Before I had W, I used to worry if I'd be a good mom. I'm pretty self centered and I need a lot of quiet alone time. M is the only person I've ever been able to be around constantly. I worried that having a baby would make me cranky. But it hasn't. I want W around me all the time. Every morning feels like Christmas. I wake up to his little noises and I want to grab him out of the bassinet and hug him tight. When people visit, I get jealous of them for getting to hold W.
I'm not sure what's going to come out of this blog now. I'm not really into being a mommy blogger. I feel like anything I could say has already been said (much better) by so many other people. It might turn into a place for me to release my frustration about being away from W all day at work.
Fair warning: There will probably be a weepy sad lonely post from work coming in the next two weeks.
Here is a baby in a pool:
[adorable picture removed]
Friday, June 11, 2010
Everything C-Section
This is my c-section preparation post. You know how people sometimes tell you that they are telling you the "Stuff no one tells you?" They are lying. This is for real - the stuff absolutely no one tells you. Some of this is TMI. Be ready!
Last updated: October 13, 2013
******
What to pack:
Regular pillows - this is on every list, but I need to add it again. Bring your own pillows!!!! We had one for each of us. That would be the bare minimum.
Boppy pillow (or whatever) - I couldn't really move myself around, so moving me, pillows and a little baby to different positions was a lot of work. If I had my boppy, I would have had a much easier time with the nursing, just getting in the right position was enough work!
Drawstring pants - Maternity pants all have the elastic band really low (right at the incision) or have the elastic high and a seam right at the same height as the incision. Drawstring pants are perfect. You can wear them all high and look funny but the don't touch the sensitive area. At 2 weeks, I could wear maternity sweatpants or pants with the low elastic. I can wear the jeans (with the high elastic) if I wear a tank top that is long enough to protect me from the seam. Not that it hurts, it is just funny feeling.
Dry Erase marker - My room had a board where one nurse wrote her name and the date. That was one of the best things. We usually had no idea what day it was. And then I could ask for my nurse by name when I called the nurses station. None of the other nurses did it because they didn't have a marker. You could even bring your own like you had on your door to your dorm room.
Tank tops - The hospital gown is crap. You'll have to wear it until the IVs come out (because you can't put shirts on over the tubes), but then you will NEED your own clothes.
Nursing bras - Again, you'll be there for several days. You'll want your bras.
Pen and notebook - You'll want to write down what is happening, visitors, notes about appointments and all that stuff. Also, the nurse will give you a confusing sheet to keep track of nursing and diapers. That sheet is ridiculous. Keep track your own way so you won't be all confused when they ask questions. The nurses don't seem to realize you are on crazy drugs.
High fiber snacks - You'll thank me later.
Husband - Get yourself an amazing one. Mine held my leg back during labor, hugged me while I was in pain. Held our son when I couldn't. Changed all the diapers for the first few days because I couldn't stand. Helped me take a shower. Took me to the bathroom. Changed my pads. Walked slowly with me at home. Gave me an enema. He is amazing.
What not to pack: Your own socks. I took socks. They are in the trash now.
*****
Preparations before you go in:
Take a breastfeeding class. Know as much as possible before your baby is born.
If you have stairs in your house, get duplicates of everything: Butt paste, nipple cream, wipes, whatever and have a huge stash on each floor. They tried to tell me I could only use the stairs once a day... and I live on a 3-level townhouse. I had to ignore that advice.
Eat a high-fiber diet for a week before... lots of whole wheat and activia yogurts! Get that system primed!
Purchase stool softeners and some other supplies. Maybe a suppository or a mineral oil fleet enema. They might come in handy and there's nothing worse than sending your husband out for these things when you need them.
Find some fruit paste and have it ready. Bring some to the hospital! Have some at home! I had my MIL bring me one activia yogurt each day I was there. (Thanks to Katie for her post on dealing with the c-section constipation)
Get your pump supplies sanitized and read the manual. I had to pump at the hospital and at home. Somebody told me to get it all ready beforehand and I am so grateful.
Make sure your husband knows (and agrees with you) about your birth plan and breastfeeding plans. He is the one you are going to lean on the most, and he will be the one making decisions when you can't. He'll also be the one in the trenches with you afterwards, so it's easier for both of you when he knows what you want.
Here's a resource all about c-section stuff: ICAN - International Cesarean Awareness Network.
*****
After surgery:
Get out that notebook! Write down all the drugs you are getting and their dosages and timing. I had some nurses that would bring me drugs at the right times. Others wouldn't give me anything unless I asked. I was on Oxycodone (spelling?) and some sort of ibuprofren mixture that made a good strong drug. The oxycodone helped the pain and the ibuprofren helped the soreness. They are two very different pains and I wanted to stay ahead of them. I usually knew which one to ask for, but I would have done better if I had the schedule written down.
Make sure you are getting stool softeners.
Get out of bed as soon as they will let you.
Walk down the hall to get your own water.
Don't eat like a pig - don't eat food that will stop you up. If the hospital food isn't what you need, have someone bring you something better.
If you are close to your mom or mother in law (and don't mind them seeing your boobs), have them come visit you that first day and help you. My husband had never changed a diaper in his life and he was overwhelmed at first. I couldn't get out of bed, so I wasn't any help. I called his mom and she came to spend some time with us. I only did this because she is amazing - I wouldn't have called a mother in law that wasn't completely supportive.
On my last day, the nurse gave me some pads to put over my scar to keep my clothes from rubbing on it. Awesome. I had about 1 weeks worth and it made wearing pants easier.
Talk to the lactation consultants every day. They will have different ones, so try to get to all of them. You will learn something new from each one. The second one you see will contradict something the first one said. Listen to all of it and make the decisions for yourself. They are not in charge of you or your baby - you are.
Stand up for yourself. You are going to be in the hospital for a long time. You are going to have multiple nurses looking after you and multiple nurses looking after your baby. In a perfect world, everyone would have the same idea and opinions on breastfeeding and basic baby care as you and you'd all work together as a team. That is not my experience, and it hasn't been the experience of most c-section moms. I hate to say it (because my mom is a nurse and her friends are lovely people), but my situation was us vs. them. With a typical vaginal birth, you are out of the hospital after one night, but I was there from Tuesday at 8 am to Saturday at 3 pm. I posted about my care here. I am happy that I stood my ground about the breastfeeding, but I'm not happy about the way I was treated. I don't think that you should go into the hospital looking for a fight, but I do think that you should educate yourself as much as possible on breastfeeding and basic baby care so YOU know your own opinions. Look into a supplemental nursing system. It's hard to stand up for yourself when you don't know what you want to do. And it's even harder when you are in a post-surgery fog and haven't slept in 3 days. You are not yourself in those early postpartum days.
*****
Here is the story of my actual surgery:
Warning! This is about an unplanned c-section after labor. For a planned c-section, click here.
The lead up to surgery was a little crappy. I had to stop pushing, but I was still having contractions. The anesthesiologist came in and made me drink a little cup of something gross. M got dressed in the scrubs and I pretty much laid on my side and whimpered to my mom until the OR was ready.
I was a little afraid. I always heard that you could feel pulling and tugging. I was afraid that I'd feel pain. And I was feeling more than I was supposed to - the doctor was pricking me with a sharp thing on my stomach for a while and I kept telling her that I could feel it. The anesthesiologist was surprised and gave me some stronger drugs. He was a very nice man and talked to me a lot. This is where I stop remembering some things. I remember M walking in and sitting next to me. Then I remember hearing a baby crying and looking over my shoulder and seeing a tiny hand sticking up from the baby station in the corner. Then I somehow knew I had a boy. M told me that he was allowed to come in and saw them opening me up. He claims the anesthesiologist told him it was a boy and then M told me. He also says that he saw W pee all over the place when they were cleaning him up.
Once W was cleaned up, M was able to hold him. I just laid there and watched them look at each other. M got pretty emotional (and of course I did, too!). Every few minutes, M would peek over the curtain and tell me I was still getting stitched up. I could feel little tugs, but nothing painful. And I actually didn't care at all what they were doing to me.
It took about 5 minutes for W to come out and another 45 min to an hour to get me all back together. I have a horizontal incision just above my pubic bone. It is about the length of my hand. I was sown up from the inside and I had steri-strips on the outside. For the first day, I had a big bandaid thing across my belly.
Once I was finished, they gave me W to hold while I was wheeled back to my room. I cried the whole time. We arrived back in our room and our parents came in. M took W into the alcove and the nurse pushed on my belly to get some gunk out. I felt gross (it did hurt a little). I got more pitocin to contract my uterus and some antibiotics.
I could lift my butt off the table almost immediately, so they took me to my post-partum room right away. This was when they took W to the nursery. They need to see the baby within 2 hours of birth, so away he went. I missed him.
I had a catheter and IV in for the first day. I didn't move from the bed and that was ok with me. I was in a little pain, but the IV meds kept me feeling good. In the afternoon, a tech came in and told me I was getting out of bed. She didn't give me the option. She was great to me. I told her I was afraid of the mess and she said it wasn't a big deal and she would clean it up. I walked to the bathroom (slowly) and made a mess. I cleaned myself up - which was very strange with the catheter and IV and everything. But I felt much better. Getting in and out of bed took forever because I could barely lift my legs. It's amazing how much you use your abdominal muscles!
Later on (I can't remember when), I got my catheter out. That meant I had to go to the bathroom on my own. That first time was a little rough. It didn't hurt to pee, it was just hard to get there. At the end of my pregnancy, the pee sensation had kind of changed to just pressure. It was the same way after the surgery. I didn't really know when I had to pee. I kept an eye on the clock and made sure I went every few hours. I had to pee in a container and I filled it up every time.
My IV got taken out sometime, too. But they left the port in. That was annoying. After a day or two I told them I needed it out. It was catching on everything and making me crazy. I learned that if you are annoying about something, the nurse will take care of it for you. But you have to be annoying.
Nurses would check my incision and my vital signs every few hours. I had a huge gas bubble in my abdomen and they would tap on it. Sometimes they would push on my belly (that hurts). One doctor came in and told me she was checking my incision and she ripped off the bandage. She did it quick and I am thankful. Holy crap, that would have hurt a lot more if she had taken her time. I was able to move a little more after that.
Coughing was the worst. I could not cough unless I had help. M would roll up a blanket and hold it against my stomach so I could cough. I felt like me body was going to split in half. It didn't. After the first cough, it got easier, but it still sucked. It was able to cough normally in about a week. The nurses gave me a thing to breathe into to make me cough. I did not use it as much as I was supposed to. (thank you jill for reminding me about this!)
Once I was on pills, it got harder to get my medicine. I had to ask for it and they would ask me about my pain level. This is why I wish I had written down my doses and times I could take everything. I would wake up at night in pain and I don't like that.
The rest of my hospital stay wasn't really about me. I basically took care of myself (except for getting medicine). My mom helped me take my first shower. M helped with the second. I dressed myself and started walking around in the hallways. Walking is the key and the only way to get better. WALK!!
One week after the surgery, I still hadn't pooped. I was in pain. I called the doctor and they told me to take stool softners. I said those weren't cutting it. She said to get suppositories and if that didn't work, to get an enema. I skipped right to the big guns (I was crying because of the pain at this point). M had to give it to me. Then I labored in the tub for about 1.5 hours until it happened. This is where childbirth class came in handy. It was gross. But I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I was alive again. I didn't need a second c-section to get the poop out.
The doctor pulled off the steri-strips at my 2 week checkup. She told me I could drive again.
Four weeks later, I'd say I'm at about 90%. I was so lucky to have the doctor I had. Lots of nurses told me she was meticulous with her surgeries and I can tell. I could walk just fine within a few days. I can carry my baby in his carseat. I can go for long walks. My incision does not hurt at all anymore, but the area above it feels funny.
Here is more on my postpartum care.
*****
A final note: Only one thing matters in this whole world: That little baby. This sounds like total BS: No matter how much pain I was in, the second my son was in my arms, all of that pain was gone.
Also, I'd do it all over again. Even the poop part.
Last updated: October 13, 2013
******
What to pack:
Regular pillows - this is on every list, but I need to add it again. Bring your own pillows!!!! We had one for each of us. That would be the bare minimum.
Boppy pillow (or whatever) - I couldn't really move myself around, so moving me, pillows and a little baby to different positions was a lot of work. If I had my boppy, I would have had a much easier time with the nursing, just getting in the right position was enough work!
Drawstring pants - Maternity pants all have the elastic band really low (right at the incision) or have the elastic high and a seam right at the same height as the incision. Drawstring pants are perfect. You can wear them all high and look funny but the don't touch the sensitive area. At 2 weeks, I could wear maternity sweatpants or pants with the low elastic. I can wear the jeans (with the high elastic) if I wear a tank top that is long enough to protect me from the seam. Not that it hurts, it is just funny feeling.
Dry Erase marker - My room had a board where one nurse wrote her name and the date. That was one of the best things. We usually had no idea what day it was. And then I could ask for my nurse by name when I called the nurses station. None of the other nurses did it because they didn't have a marker. You could even bring your own like you had on your door to your dorm room.
Tank tops - The hospital gown is crap. You'll have to wear it until the IVs come out (because you can't put shirts on over the tubes), but then you will NEED your own clothes.
Nursing bras - Again, you'll be there for several days. You'll want your bras.
Pen and notebook - You'll want to write down what is happening, visitors, notes about appointments and all that stuff. Also, the nurse will give you a confusing sheet to keep track of nursing and diapers. That sheet is ridiculous. Keep track your own way so you won't be all confused when they ask questions. The nurses don't seem to realize you are on crazy drugs.
High fiber snacks - You'll thank me later.
Husband - Get yourself an amazing one. Mine held my leg back during labor, hugged me while I was in pain. Held our son when I couldn't. Changed all the diapers for the first few days because I couldn't stand. Helped me take a shower. Took me to the bathroom. Changed my pads. Walked slowly with me at home. Gave me an enema. He is amazing.
What not to pack: Your own socks. I took socks. They are in the trash now.
*****
Preparations before you go in:
Take a breastfeeding class. Know as much as possible before your baby is born.
If you have stairs in your house, get duplicates of everything: Butt paste, nipple cream, wipes, whatever and have a huge stash on each floor. They tried to tell me I could only use the stairs once a day... and I live on a 3-level townhouse. I had to ignore that advice.
Eat a high-fiber diet for a week before... lots of whole wheat and activia yogurts! Get that system primed!
Purchase stool softeners and some other supplies. Maybe a suppository or a mineral oil fleet enema. They might come in handy and there's nothing worse than sending your husband out for these things when you need them.
Find some fruit paste and have it ready. Bring some to the hospital! Have some at home! I had my MIL bring me one activia yogurt each day I was there. (Thanks to Katie for her post on dealing with the c-section constipation)
Get your pump supplies sanitized and read the manual. I had to pump at the hospital and at home. Somebody told me to get it all ready beforehand and I am so grateful.
Make sure your husband knows (and agrees with you) about your birth plan and breastfeeding plans. He is the one you are going to lean on the most, and he will be the one making decisions when you can't. He'll also be the one in the trenches with you afterwards, so it's easier for both of you when he knows what you want.
Here's a resource all about c-section stuff: ICAN - International Cesarean Awareness Network.
*****
After surgery:
Get out that notebook! Write down all the drugs you are getting and their dosages and timing. I had some nurses that would bring me drugs at the right times. Others wouldn't give me anything unless I asked. I was on Oxycodone (spelling?) and some sort of ibuprofren mixture that made a good strong drug. The oxycodone helped the pain and the ibuprofren helped the soreness. They are two very different pains and I wanted to stay ahead of them. I usually knew which one to ask for, but I would have done better if I had the schedule written down.
Make sure you are getting stool softeners.
Get out of bed as soon as they will let you.
Walk down the hall to get your own water.
Don't eat like a pig - don't eat food that will stop you up. If the hospital food isn't what you need, have someone bring you something better.
If you are close to your mom or mother in law (and don't mind them seeing your boobs), have them come visit you that first day and help you. My husband had never changed a diaper in his life and he was overwhelmed at first. I couldn't get out of bed, so I wasn't any help. I called his mom and she came to spend some time with us. I only did this because she is amazing - I wouldn't have called a mother in law that wasn't completely supportive.
On my last day, the nurse gave me some pads to put over my scar to keep my clothes from rubbing on it. Awesome. I had about 1 weeks worth and it made wearing pants easier.
Also, right before you go home, find out when you are due for medicine and how much. Don't forget about medicine in all the excitement of going home. It will haunt you in the middle of the night. Get your prescription for the heavy stuff - I wasn't going to, but I needed it 2 or 3 times. I skipped the motrin and just took advil so I could take less than 800 mg as needed.
Talk to the lactation consultants every day. They will have different ones, so try to get to all of them. You will learn something new from each one. The second one you see will contradict something the first one said. Listen to all of it and make the decisions for yourself. They are not in charge of you or your baby - you are.
Stand up for yourself. You are going to be in the hospital for a long time. You are going to have multiple nurses looking after you and multiple nurses looking after your baby. In a perfect world, everyone would have the same idea and opinions on breastfeeding and basic baby care as you and you'd all work together as a team. That is not my experience, and it hasn't been the experience of most c-section moms. I hate to say it (because my mom is a nurse and her friends are lovely people), but my situation was us vs. them. With a typical vaginal birth, you are out of the hospital after one night, but I was there from Tuesday at 8 am to Saturday at 3 pm. I posted about my care here. I am happy that I stood my ground about the breastfeeding, but I'm not happy about the way I was treated. I don't think that you should go into the hospital looking for a fight, but I do think that you should educate yourself as much as possible on breastfeeding and basic baby care so YOU know your own opinions. Look into a supplemental nursing system. It's hard to stand up for yourself when you don't know what you want to do. And it's even harder when you are in a post-surgery fog and haven't slept in 3 days. You are not yourself in those early postpartum days.
*****
Here is the story of my actual surgery:
Warning! This is about an unplanned c-section after labor. For a planned c-section, click here.
The lead up to surgery was a little crappy. I had to stop pushing, but I was still having contractions. The anesthesiologist came in and made me drink a little cup of something gross. M got dressed in the scrubs and I pretty much laid on my side and whimpered to my mom until the OR was ready.
I was a little afraid. I always heard that you could feel pulling and tugging. I was afraid that I'd feel pain. And I was feeling more than I was supposed to - the doctor was pricking me with a sharp thing on my stomach for a while and I kept telling her that I could feel it. The anesthesiologist was surprised and gave me some stronger drugs. He was a very nice man and talked to me a lot. This is where I stop remembering some things. I remember M walking in and sitting next to me. Then I remember hearing a baby crying and looking over my shoulder and seeing a tiny hand sticking up from the baby station in the corner. Then I somehow knew I had a boy. M told me that he was allowed to come in and saw them opening me up. He claims the anesthesiologist told him it was a boy and then M told me. He also says that he saw W pee all over the place when they were cleaning him up.
Once W was cleaned up, M was able to hold him. I just laid there and watched them look at each other. M got pretty emotional (and of course I did, too!). Every few minutes, M would peek over the curtain and tell me I was still getting stitched up. I could feel little tugs, but nothing painful. And I actually didn't care at all what they were doing to me.
It took about 5 minutes for W to come out and another 45 min to an hour to get me all back together. I have a horizontal incision just above my pubic bone. It is about the length of my hand. I was sown up from the inside and I had steri-strips on the outside. For the first day, I had a big bandaid thing across my belly.
Once I was finished, they gave me W to hold while I was wheeled back to my room. I cried the whole time. We arrived back in our room and our parents came in. M took W into the alcove and the nurse pushed on my belly to get some gunk out. I felt gross (it did hurt a little). I got more pitocin to contract my uterus and some antibiotics.
I could lift my butt off the table almost immediately, so they took me to my post-partum room right away. This was when they took W to the nursery. They need to see the baby within 2 hours of birth, so away he went. I missed him.
I had a catheter and IV in for the first day. I didn't move from the bed and that was ok with me. I was in a little pain, but the IV meds kept me feeling good. In the afternoon, a tech came in and told me I was getting out of bed. She didn't give me the option. She was great to me. I told her I was afraid of the mess and she said it wasn't a big deal and she would clean it up. I walked to the bathroom (slowly) and made a mess. I cleaned myself up - which was very strange with the catheter and IV and everything. But I felt much better. Getting in and out of bed took forever because I could barely lift my legs. It's amazing how much you use your abdominal muscles!
Later on (I can't remember when), I got my catheter out. That meant I had to go to the bathroom on my own. That first time was a little rough. It didn't hurt to pee, it was just hard to get there. At the end of my pregnancy, the pee sensation had kind of changed to just pressure. It was the same way after the surgery. I didn't really know when I had to pee. I kept an eye on the clock and made sure I went every few hours. I had to pee in a container and I filled it up every time.
My IV got taken out sometime, too. But they left the port in. That was annoying. After a day or two I told them I needed it out. It was catching on everything and making me crazy. I learned that if you are annoying about something, the nurse will take care of it for you. But you have to be annoying.
Nurses would check my incision and my vital signs every few hours. I had a huge gas bubble in my abdomen and they would tap on it. Sometimes they would push on my belly (that hurts). One doctor came in and told me she was checking my incision and she ripped off the bandage. She did it quick and I am thankful. Holy crap, that would have hurt a lot more if she had taken her time. I was able to move a little more after that.
Coughing was the worst. I could not cough unless I had help. M would roll up a blanket and hold it against my stomach so I could cough. I felt like me body was going to split in half. It didn't. After the first cough, it got easier, but it still sucked. It was able to cough normally in about a week. The nurses gave me a thing to breathe into to make me cough. I did not use it as much as I was supposed to. (thank you jill for reminding me about this!)
Once I was on pills, it got harder to get my medicine. I had to ask for it and they would ask me about my pain level. This is why I wish I had written down my doses and times I could take everything. I would wake up at night in pain and I don't like that.
The rest of my hospital stay wasn't really about me. I basically took care of myself (except for getting medicine). My mom helped me take my first shower. M helped with the second. I dressed myself and started walking around in the hallways. Walking is the key and the only way to get better. WALK!!
One week after the surgery, I still hadn't pooped. I was in pain. I called the doctor and they told me to take stool softners. I said those weren't cutting it. She said to get suppositories and if that didn't work, to get an enema. I skipped right to the big guns (I was crying because of the pain at this point). M had to give it to me. Then I labored in the tub for about 1.5 hours until it happened. This is where childbirth class came in handy. It was gross. But I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I was alive again. I didn't need a second c-section to get the poop out.
The doctor pulled off the steri-strips at my 2 week checkup. She told me I could drive again.
Four weeks later, I'd say I'm at about 90%. I was so lucky to have the doctor I had. Lots of nurses told me she was meticulous with her surgeries and I can tell. I could walk just fine within a few days. I can carry my baby in his carseat. I can go for long walks. My incision does not hurt at all anymore, but the area above it feels funny.
Here is more on my postpartum care.
*****
A final note: Only one thing matters in this whole world: That little baby. This sounds like total BS: No matter how much pain I was in, the second my son was in my arms, all of that pain was gone.
Also, I'd do it all over again. Even the poop part.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
What a difference a year makes
I'm working on the rest of my birth story and hospital stay and I'll post those soon. But I just realized that my blog is a year old. Wow. I never, ever thought I would be here now. Last year I was sitting in my cold office writing to calm myself down so I wouldn't cry through the day. This year I'm in my cozy basement rocking a baby to sleep to give me a few more minutes here.
I'd love to have that first baby here with me now, but I would never, ever change what I have now. I am so in love with this little guy. He's everything I ever dreamed of and he's made me fall in love with life all over again. He's worth all the pain from last year.
I started reading blogs and got some hope from girls who were on the other side. I wondered what it would be like to not worry about losing a pregnancy anymore. Now here I am. I'm a success story. You can be afraid for 10 months and get through it with the support here. It is possible.
I'm still afraid. I wake up constantly during the night and listen for his breathing. I reach into the bassinet just to touch him and feel his chest rise and fall. I'll never stop worrying about him.
Thank you again for getting me to this side of the rainbow. I hope all of you will be here soon.
I'd love to have that first baby here with me now, but I would never, ever change what I have now. I am so in love with this little guy. He's everything I ever dreamed of and he's made me fall in love with life all over again. He's worth all the pain from last year.
I started reading blogs and got some hope from girls who were on the other side. I wondered what it would be like to not worry about losing a pregnancy anymore. Now here I am. I'm a success story. You can be afraid for 10 months and get through it with the support here. It is possible.
I'm still afraid. I wake up constantly during the night and listen for his breathing. I reach into the bassinet just to touch him and feel his chest rise and fall. I'll never stop worrying about him.
Thank you again for getting me to this side of the rainbow. I hope all of you will be here soon.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Baby W's Post-partum story
One thing I didn't mention in my last post - The doctor talked to me after the C-section. I would have needed it no matter what. He was kind of stuck in my pelvis with his chin and shoulder wedged up together and he wasn't going to come out that way. So the surgery wasn't a result of pushing too soon or the induction. It was all about his position.
I'll talk about my medical care in the c-section post - I want to get it all in one place, but I couldn't really move at all the first day. I had to shout at M to wake up to give me the baby because I couldn't poke him or reach anything to throw at him (M, not the baby). M's mom spent the day with us just for moral support. She helped M with the diapers and kind of guided us on the basic steps. We were tired. Both sets of my parents came in to visit. We had doctors all over the place. It was a huge blur. M and I had no idea what day it was.
Some of the nurses were great and some were not. I was not thrilled with the baby nurses. I understand that the baby is their priority, but they treated me like a feed bag. None of them cared what I had just been through. This sounds whiny, but when I cried at the thought of a baby nurse showing up in my room, something must be wrong. In fact, I'm tearing up a little now and it's 3 weeks later. I had one yell at me because I wasn't nursing enough. When I told her about the last time I fed him (3 hours earlier) she said "Well that's your problem" in a very agitated way. Then I spent the rest of the night having my vitals taken every hour because I had elevated blood pressure. I had them yell at me because I had the lights too low. I had another one yell because I was feeding him when they needed to take him to the nursery. I KNOW and AGREE that my baby was the most important person, but I wish I had been treated like a person, too...
On our last night (what was supposed to be our second to last night), W got dehydrated. My milk wasn't in yet and he was a big baby, so he needed more food. We spent the whole night awake. All three of us were crying off and on. By the time the morning came, we were all stressed out and scared. I don't even really remember what happened. I knew I wasn't giving him anything. His mouth was dry and he would only sleep for a few minutes at a time. M would hold him, I would hold him... nothing would work. I said something to my nurse about wanting to supplement him and she came back with a bottle of formula. I politely refused. But I wonder what would have happened if I had been a younger, less educated woman? Would I have taken the bottle and then given up on breastfeeding before I even tried? What if I didn't know my options? How many other moms give up at this point? I was upset and crying even more about this. I'm the type to always follow rules and listen to people in authority - it was hard for me to say no to this nurse! I did eventually get a hold of a baby nurse who was great (the only one I liked) and she set me up with a SNS (Supplemental Nursing System). I used it at the hospital and at home until Sunday (Day 5) when I finally started getting some milk. They also gave him some formula in the nursery to rehydrate him. I don't know if they used a bottle or not. I don't want to know. All I know is that I cried a ton and felt like I didn't deserve to have a baby. I felt like a failure. Once we started the supplementing and he was calm again, we were all much better. And ready to get out of the hospital.
Saturday morning (Day 4), I started telling every person that came into our room that I was ready to leave. We were going home that day. I couldn't take one more day in that room. M and I had been there since Tuesday morning (he'd been home twice to shower and get stuff). I was tired of getting woken up by people coming in constantly to check me or the baby. I was tired of calling the nurse to give me medicine. I was tired of the bed and the low chairs. I wanted to be home and to get our life started! And it worked. We were discharged at 3 pm and home by 4.
I cried when I got home. W slept. It hasn't all been easy since then, but the good times are better than I imagined.
This is kind of jumbled. I tried to keep it organized, but I honestly can't remember everything that happened during our hospital stay. I remember being tired and walking around with my nipples exposed and wearing mesh panties.
So I left off right with my little boy being born and being sent to post-partum. We arrived in our room around 3:30 am Wednesday morning and I have no idea what happened for a while. I know W arrived back around 5 and I was able to try to nurse him for the first time. It worked! It wasn't great and he didn't eat a lot, but he did what he was supposed to and I was satisfied that he got something. The nurses helped me and stuck around until he was done. They put him back in the little bassinet while he was still awake (around 6 am) and I could see his little face through the plastic (good job designers on making those things clear!). I just stared at him for the next half hour until he fell asleep. My mom left around 6:30 to go home and rest. M was passed out on the little pull out bed and I was just there, knowing I needed to sleep... But how could I?
I'll talk about my medical care in the c-section post - I want to get it all in one place, but I couldn't really move at all the first day. I had to shout at M to wake up to give me the baby because I couldn't poke him or reach anything to throw at him (M, not the baby). M's mom spent the day with us just for moral support. She helped M with the diapers and kind of guided us on the basic steps. We were tired. Both sets of my parents came in to visit. We had doctors all over the place. It was a huge blur. M and I had no idea what day it was.
Some of the nurses were great and some were not. I was not thrilled with the baby nurses. I understand that the baby is their priority, but they treated me like a feed bag. None of them cared what I had just been through. This sounds whiny, but when I cried at the thought of a baby nurse showing up in my room, something must be wrong. In fact, I'm tearing up a little now and it's 3 weeks later. I had one yell at me because I wasn't nursing enough. When I told her about the last time I fed him (3 hours earlier) she said "Well that's your problem" in a very agitated way. Then I spent the rest of the night having my vitals taken every hour because I had elevated blood pressure. I had them yell at me because I had the lights too low. I had another one yell because I was feeding him when they needed to take him to the nursery. I KNOW and AGREE that my baby was the most important person, but I wish I had been treated like a person, too...
On our last night (what was supposed to be our second to last night), W got dehydrated. My milk wasn't in yet and he was a big baby, so he needed more food. We spent the whole night awake. All three of us were crying off and on. By the time the morning came, we were all stressed out and scared. I don't even really remember what happened. I knew I wasn't giving him anything. His mouth was dry and he would only sleep for a few minutes at a time. M would hold him, I would hold him... nothing would work. I said something to my nurse about wanting to supplement him and she came back with a bottle of formula. I politely refused. But I wonder what would have happened if I had been a younger, less educated woman? Would I have taken the bottle and then given up on breastfeeding before I even tried? What if I didn't know my options? How many other moms give up at this point? I was upset and crying even more about this. I'm the type to always follow rules and listen to people in authority - it was hard for me to say no to this nurse! I did eventually get a hold of a baby nurse who was great (the only one I liked) and she set me up with a SNS (Supplemental Nursing System). I used it at the hospital and at home until Sunday (Day 5) when I finally started getting some milk. They also gave him some formula in the nursery to rehydrate him. I don't know if they used a bottle or not. I don't want to know. All I know is that I cried a ton and felt like I didn't deserve to have a baby. I felt like a failure. Once we started the supplementing and he was calm again, we were all much better. And ready to get out of the hospital.
Saturday morning (Day 4), I started telling every person that came into our room that I was ready to leave. We were going home that day. I couldn't take one more day in that room. M and I had been there since Tuesday morning (he'd been home twice to shower and get stuff). I was tired of getting woken up by people coming in constantly to check me or the baby. I was tired of calling the nurse to give me medicine. I was tired of the bed and the low chairs. I wanted to be home and to get our life started! And it worked. We were discharged at 3 pm and home by 4.
I cried when I got home. W slept. It hasn't all been easy since then, but the good times are better than I imagined.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Baby W's Birth Story
This took forever, but I didn't want to forget a thing. It's rough to stay away from this little face for too long, so most of this was written with my foot rocking a car seat and that little face giving me dirty looks whenever I stopped! Now he is snoring!
Things are going pretty great now. He's eating a ton and gaining weight like a crazy guy. Nursing is exhausting and I can see why people give up. Nipple sheilds are my savior - I have inverted nipples! Who knew! That does not mean they are innies, it means they retract when I squeeze my boob. He's sleeping great and has a fun little personality. This is wonderful.
So here's the birth part of the birth story. It's long and doesn't even begin to describe they whole experience.
We woke up around 6 am to get ready for the induction. I had cheerios and water for breakfast. It wasn’t very satisfying. I wanted to eat a lot, but the instructions I had said to eat lightly that morning. I should have ignored that! I went to the bathroom shortly before leaving the house and saw that I lost my mucus plug. Hooray! Labor would happen in a week or two!
We arrived at the hospital around 8 am and I was in a room and hooked up to the monitors by 8:10. The weather outside the window was grey and steamy – we were looking out over a bunch of roof vents. M was freezing and I was sweating. The baby’s heart rate stayed in the 130s and 140s and I was so relaxed knowing it was ok and I would be seeing my baby soon! My IV went in at 9:12 and Pitocin started at 10:10. They upped the Pitocin drip at noon and stripped my membranes. I believe I was up to 3 cm at the time and the contractions were barely noticeable. We watched HGTV for a while and read. I tried to nap, but I was so excited. M and my mom got some lunch and ate it in front of me. The nurses kept saying that I could eat whatever I wanted as soon as the baby was here. I wanted everything I saw advertised on the TV.
My contractions started getting more intense around 1:45. They were getting painful and coming in regular waves. I decided to hold off on the epidural a little longer. Then I started crying through contractions and my nose would get stuffed up (I was still recovering from my awful cold!) and I wouldn’t be able to breathe and I’d start coughing. Those three things would send me into a panic. We decided I needed some pain medication at 3:00. I had a student do my epidural, but a real anesthesiologist was there with her. M and my mom were sent out of the room (that made me sad) and I was left with the nurse. She did a good job of calming me down and getting me into the position I needed. I am grateful for her doing that. The worst part of the whole process was the numbing needle. Everything else was painless (except for the contractions I had while they were working on me). I also got the catheter put in and that broke my water fully. It was gushes and gushes and felt gross.
The epidural was great for about 2 hours. Then it wasn’t great anymore. I was having strong contractions that I could feel down my right leg. We learned that epidurals are gravity fed afterwards… I had been propped up on a pillow at some point for some reason, so the medicine didn’t go all the way to the right side. Bummer.
At some point, the alarm for the epidural pump kept going off saying there was a kink in the line. I sat up and they inspected the whole thing, but no one could find the problem. Hearing that alarm go off was driving me nuts!
Around 7:30, I decided I wanted to push. They checked and I was close to 10 cm, so I just had to wait for the doctor. Someone opened the epidural pump and saw that the kink in the line was inside the pump, so that got fixed. The medicine wasn’t at 100%, but at least it was something. I could feel that I was having contractions, but they weren’t crazy painful. I was also scared out of my mind. M and my mom were right by my side holding my legs in the position I wanted and giving me love.
The doctor showed up and we were pushing. It took a few tries to get the hang of it and then I was an expert. You know how I knew I was an awesome pusher? Because I pooped the ENTIRE time - with every push. The poor nurse. I could feel it. It was funny and gross. Mike said it was not as funny as I thought. At some point I told the nurse to shut up. The blood pressure cuff would tighten during the contraction and I would lose the ability to push. I was sweating like crazy and my last push with every contraction turned into a scream. I pushed with the handle bars, I pushed holding my own legs, I pushed with the tug of war. I pushed for over 3 hours. No dice. I could tell when the head was close because M and my mom would get so excited and tell me to keep pushing. But he wouldn’t come out. The doctor finally called it off. I was getting tired and the baby couldn’t be having too much fun, either. The heart rate stayed wonderful for the entire time, so that was good to know. They checked out the OR and we had to wait for an emergency c-section to finish before I could go in.
At this point, M got pretty upset. I wasn’t afraid or anything, but I imagine it’s pretty traumatic to see someone you love go through all this at once. That 1-hour (plus) wait was rough. I still had contractions and the baby’s head felt like it was going to explode out of my butt. I made the nurse reassure me that I didn’t have hemorrhoids. She said I didn’t. That made me feel better. So the contractions were killing me and M took pictures. We have a great one of me in pain and him all dressed in scrubs and smiling.
I went into the OR first. M had to wait for me to be completely numbed up before he could come in. I remember them sticking me with sharp things to check my numbness. I kept feeling it. They were surprised and just gave me more drugs. Then I was very happy and very numb. Suddenly, M was next to me. I was happy to see him. Then I looked over towards the baby area and I could see a small hand reaching up into the air. I had no idea the baby had even been born. I could not believe what I was seeing. M told me it was a boy and just cried. I just remember being so happy. After a few checks, M was able to hold him while I got sewn up. I could feel little tugs, but nothing bad. Who cared what they were doing to me. I had a son! My husband was holding our baby! M got pretty emotional (who wouldn’t!). I think it took more than 45 minutes to get me all back together. We just looked at out little boy. He was wide awake and so beautiful.
The nurses put him in my arms to get me back to recovery. I cried the whole time. We got back to my room and M went to get the grandparents from the lobby. He didn’t tell them anything except that we were fine and happy. They walked in and I introduced them to their grandson. The grandmas screamed and cried. I cried. M took the baby into the room alcove to meet everyone while the nurses finished some stuff with me. They pushed on my belly some more and changed some pads and got me ready to leave labor and delivery.
W had to go to the nursery at 2 hours old. I hated seeing him go. I wasn’t allowed to try to nurse him (it makes sense now – so many drugs!). I also could not have anything to eat or drink. I had to beg for ice chips. They tasted like heaven. Once I was able to lift my butt with my own power, I was moved to post partum where I would stay for the next few days.
Things are going pretty great now. He's eating a ton and gaining weight like a crazy guy. Nursing is exhausting and I can see why people give up. Nipple sheilds are my savior - I have inverted nipples! Who knew! That does not mean they are innies, it means they retract when I squeeze my boob. He's sleeping great and has a fun little personality. This is wonderful.
So here's the birth part of the birth story. It's long and doesn't even begin to describe they whole experience.
We woke up around 6 am to get ready for the induction. I had cheerios and water for breakfast. It wasn’t very satisfying. I wanted to eat a lot, but the instructions I had said to eat lightly that morning. I should have ignored that! I went to the bathroom shortly before leaving the house and saw that I lost my mucus plug. Hooray! Labor would happen in a week or two!
We arrived at the hospital around 8 am and I was in a room and hooked up to the monitors by 8:10. The weather outside the window was grey and steamy – we were looking out over a bunch of roof vents. M was freezing and I was sweating. The baby’s heart rate stayed in the 130s and 140s and I was so relaxed knowing it was ok and I would be seeing my baby soon! My IV went in at 9:12 and Pitocin started at 10:10. They upped the Pitocin drip at noon and stripped my membranes. I believe I was up to 3 cm at the time and the contractions were barely noticeable. We watched HGTV for a while and read. I tried to nap, but I was so excited. M and my mom got some lunch and ate it in front of me. The nurses kept saying that I could eat whatever I wanted as soon as the baby was here. I wanted everything I saw advertised on the TV.
My contractions started getting more intense around 1:45. They were getting painful and coming in regular waves. I decided to hold off on the epidural a little longer. Then I started crying through contractions and my nose would get stuffed up (I was still recovering from my awful cold!) and I wouldn’t be able to breathe and I’d start coughing. Those three things would send me into a panic. We decided I needed some pain medication at 3:00. I had a student do my epidural, but a real anesthesiologist was there with her. M and my mom were sent out of the room (that made me sad) and I was left with the nurse. She did a good job of calming me down and getting me into the position I needed. I am grateful for her doing that. The worst part of the whole process was the numbing needle. Everything else was painless (except for the contractions I had while they were working on me). I also got the catheter put in and that broke my water fully. It was gushes and gushes and felt gross.
The epidural was great for about 2 hours. Then it wasn’t great anymore. I was having strong contractions that I could feel down my right leg. We learned that epidurals are gravity fed afterwards… I had been propped up on a pillow at some point for some reason, so the medicine didn’t go all the way to the right side. Bummer.
At some point, the alarm for the epidural pump kept going off saying there was a kink in the line. I sat up and they inspected the whole thing, but no one could find the problem. Hearing that alarm go off was driving me nuts!
Around 7:30, I decided I wanted to push. They checked and I was close to 10 cm, so I just had to wait for the doctor. Someone opened the epidural pump and saw that the kink in the line was inside the pump, so that got fixed. The medicine wasn’t at 100%, but at least it was something. I could feel that I was having contractions, but they weren’t crazy painful. I was also scared out of my mind. M and my mom were right by my side holding my legs in the position I wanted and giving me love.
The doctor showed up and we were pushing. It took a few tries to get the hang of it and then I was an expert. You know how I knew I was an awesome pusher? Because I pooped the ENTIRE time - with every push. The poor nurse. I could feel it. It was funny and gross. Mike said it was not as funny as I thought. At some point I told the nurse to shut up. The blood pressure cuff would tighten during the contraction and I would lose the ability to push. I was sweating like crazy and my last push with every contraction turned into a scream. I pushed with the handle bars, I pushed holding my own legs, I pushed with the tug of war. I pushed for over 3 hours. No dice. I could tell when the head was close because M and my mom would get so excited and tell me to keep pushing. But he wouldn’t come out. The doctor finally called it off. I was getting tired and the baby couldn’t be having too much fun, either. The heart rate stayed wonderful for the entire time, so that was good to know. They checked out the OR and we had to wait for an emergency c-section to finish before I could go in.
At this point, M got pretty upset. I wasn’t afraid or anything, but I imagine it’s pretty traumatic to see someone you love go through all this at once. That 1-hour (plus) wait was rough. I still had contractions and the baby’s head felt like it was going to explode out of my butt. I made the nurse reassure me that I didn’t have hemorrhoids. She said I didn’t. That made me feel better. So the contractions were killing me and M took pictures. We have a great one of me in pain and him all dressed in scrubs and smiling.
I went into the OR first. M had to wait for me to be completely numbed up before he could come in. I remember them sticking me with sharp things to check my numbness. I kept feeling it. They were surprised and just gave me more drugs. Then I was very happy and very numb. Suddenly, M was next to me. I was happy to see him. Then I looked over towards the baby area and I could see a small hand reaching up into the air. I had no idea the baby had even been born. I could not believe what I was seeing. M told me it was a boy and just cried. I just remember being so happy. After a few checks, M was able to hold him while I got sewn up. I could feel little tugs, but nothing bad. Who cared what they were doing to me. I had a son! My husband was holding our baby! M got pretty emotional (who wouldn’t!). I think it took more than 45 minutes to get me all back together. We just looked at out little boy. He was wide awake and so beautiful.
The nurses put him in my arms to get me back to recovery. I cried the whole time. We got back to my room and M went to get the grandparents from the lobby. He didn’t tell them anything except that we were fine and happy. They walked in and I introduced them to their grandson. The grandmas screamed and cried. I cried. M took the baby into the room alcove to meet everyone while the nurses finished some stuff with me. They pushed on my belly some more and changed some pads and got me ready to leave labor and delivery.
W had to go to the nursery at 2 hours old. I hated seeing him go. I wasn’t allowed to try to nurse him (it makes sense now – so many drugs!). I also could not have anything to eat or drink. I had to beg for ice chips. They tasted like heaven. Once I was able to lift my butt with my own power, I was moved to post partum where I would stay for the next few days.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
We're Home!
[family picture removed]
Hi Everybody! I can't post much, but I wanted to say thanks for all the congratulations!
W was born at 12:10 am on May 19th. He is 8 lb, 6 oz and 21 inches long. He is a dream come true. I had a long labor with 3 hours of pushing when my doctor decided it was time to stop. When she went in with the C-Section, he was stuck with his head and shoulder all wedged together. He came out screaming and is a very healthy little boy.
We had some issues with feeding, he was so big and my milk wasn't coming in. We supplemented with some formula (with an SNS system - look it up - pretty cool) and it looks like I had some of the real stuff today. I'll have the full story at some point. I can't go up and down stairs a lot and the computer is int he basement, but I'll get it ALL on here.
Thank you so much for all the support and love. I can't wait to catch up with everyone else.
xoxoxo
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
He has arrived!
Hello, all! Cheryl's friend here! So happy to have some great news to share. Cheryl had a baby boy named W at 12:10 am May 19th. He was 8lbs 7oz. Based on some late text messages, I believe she had a c-section and is doing fine.
Cheryl wanted all her bloggy friends to know that her new buddy arrived as soon as possible. I am so happy for them. Cheryl and M will be wonderful parents to this little guy and we love them so much!!!
Cheryl wanted all her bloggy friends to know that her new buddy arrived as soon as possible. I am so happy for them. Cheryl and M will be wonderful parents to this little guy and we love them so much!!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Away we go!
We're getting ready to leave for the hospital. I can't believe the day is here. One year ago today my world was ending and today I have a whole new beginning.
I'm the happiest girl in the world.
I'm the happiest girl in the world.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
40 Weeks and 4 Days
I don't have anything new to say, just checking in to say that I have nothing to say. I always get excited when bloggie friends are close to (or past) the due date.
I do have a buddy lined up to let you guys know when the big event is complete. We must be the only people on the planet without iphones or laptops. Maybe that's a good thing...
I do have a buddy lined up to let you guys know when the big event is complete. We must be the only people on the planet without iphones or laptops. Maybe that's a good thing...
Friday, May 14, 2010
40 Weeks and 2 Days
Four more wake-ups until induction. I'm scheduled for 8 am Tuesday morning and it can't get here fast enough.
After this post, I'm taking myself for a walk. I don't have any fears that the baby will start coming out while I'm walking, so I'm ok with going while home alone. I feel dumb that I used to worry about that.
I don't have much else to talk about. The baby is moving fine and I'm cranky and uncomfortable. My Father in Law gave me a nasty, sinus-y cold. So I'm kind of grateful that we don't have a baby right now. When my MIL found out that I got sick, she went ape-shit on FIL. You know that scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie's mom asks him where he heard the F word and he blames it on Flick (or Swartz... I can't remember)? And Ralphie's mom calls Flick's mom and you hear Flick's mom start beating him with the phone? That's what happened to my FIL yesterday. Poor man. It's not like he was trying to give me a cold. Now she's all doom and gloom about M getting sick, but mostly about her getting sick and not being able to touch the baby.
The thing with this cold is that now I feel all protective. No one is coming near our little family without a doctor's note saying they are healthy. And maybe I'll make everyone wear surgical masks. I'm absolutely in misery and I'm 30 years old. Imagine being 30 hours old and getting your first head cold.
So that's my update. I'm cranky. I'm sick. I'm still pregnant.
After this post, I'm taking myself for a walk. I don't have any fears that the baby will start coming out while I'm walking, so I'm ok with going while home alone. I feel dumb that I used to worry about that.
I don't have much else to talk about. The baby is moving fine and I'm cranky and uncomfortable. My Father in Law gave me a nasty, sinus-y cold. So I'm kind of grateful that we don't have a baby right now. When my MIL found out that I got sick, she went ape-shit on FIL. You know that scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie's mom asks him where he heard the F word and he blames it on Flick (or Swartz... I can't remember)? And Ralphie's mom calls Flick's mom and you hear Flick's mom start beating him with the phone? That's what happened to my FIL yesterday. Poor man. It's not like he was trying to give me a cold. Now she's all doom and gloom about M getting sick, but mostly about her getting sick and not being able to touch the baby.
The thing with this cold is that now I feel all protective. No one is coming near our little family without a doctor's note saying they are healthy. And maybe I'll make everyone wear surgical masks. I'm absolutely in misery and I'm 30 years old. Imagine being 30 hours old and getting your first head cold.
So that's my update. I'm cranky. I'm sick. I'm still pregnant.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
40 Weeks
Hi! It's my due date! Where's that baby???
The good: I've made it to a fully cooked little (big?) baby! We're both healthy and happy. One of us is a little too happy... I am fully prepared to have a child in this house. I have cereal now.
The bad: Well, it's my due date and the baby is still in my belly. That's not why I was counting down to today!
The ugly: Me. I'm not in too bad shape, but I know poor M must think I'm gross. I'm just really a huge lump of sweat and farts that has to pee a lot. He's being nice and pushing my butt to help me get off the couch. But I'm gross and I know it.
The Appointment:
I did not gain any weight this week. This is the first thing I've had that I can find on my "what happens before labor list" that we get in childbirth class. The Drill Sergent told us that we would stop gaining weight or loose a little right before we have the baby. I am pretending that it doesn't matter that this was a morning appointment and I usually am in there right after lunch.
I measured myself with the tape before the doctor got in there because they never tell me where I am. It said 39 weeks. M said that means I have another week. I told him to never talk to me again. Then the doctor came in. She said I measured on time. I am 3-4 cm dilated and the baby is "way up there." So that's progress and I know I won't have to worry about going to the hospital and having them tell me I'm at a 1. That would suck.
I asked her about work and told her I stopped going on Friday. She said to just leave the disability forms at the front desk and they'll get them filled out for me. That's a great thing. Now I won't feel (semi)guilty about not working this week. And I can get another week out of my very crappy short term disability.
Then we started talking induction. I wanted to go as soon as possible. She said Tuesday. One of us is a doctor, so that person wins. I am currently waiting for a phone call from the nurse to get that scheduled.
Then for the fun! I got a Non Stress Test, which was awesome. I got to curl up in a huge comfy recliner and listen to the baby's heart beat for 20 minutes. M got to sit with me on a wooden chair. He had to pee, but he was afraid he'd miss something. So he just sat with me the whole time. I called my mom so she could hear the monitor and she liked it. The doctor took a look at the chart and pronounced us good. The heart beat was steady the whole time.
Next was an ultrasound to check the fluid. The baby looks SO different now. I couldn't tell what anything was, not even the head. We were on an old machine, so you can't really see much anyway, but she measured the fluid pockets and checked the position. Everything is perfect.
I guess I couldn't ask for anything more. We're both doing great, so there is no need to induce me now. That's a good thing (I keep telling myself). And with this much dilation... I could still go at any time (right?).
The emotional stuff: So, May 18th (Tuesday, induction day) is exactly one year since we found out our baby died. The worst day of my entire life. I could be leaving the hospital with a new baby one year after leaving with no baby. This is kind of hard for me to take. I told M I didn't really want the baby born on the 18th or 19th because those are bad days for me. But I also think that maybe it will be ok... I mean, it's like having a baby on Sept 11... it brings some good back into that day. Something positive.
The good: I've made it to a fully cooked little (big?) baby! We're both healthy and happy. One of us is a little too happy... I am fully prepared to have a child in this house. I have cereal now.
The bad: Well, it's my due date and the baby is still in my belly. That's not why I was counting down to today!
The ugly: Me. I'm not in too bad shape, but I know poor M must think I'm gross. I'm just really a huge lump of sweat and farts that has to pee a lot. He's being nice and pushing my butt to help me get off the couch. But I'm gross and I know it.
The Appointment:
I did not gain any weight this week. This is the first thing I've had that I can find on my "what happens before labor list" that we get in childbirth class. The Drill Sergent told us that we would stop gaining weight or loose a little right before we have the baby. I am pretending that it doesn't matter that this was a morning appointment and I usually am in there right after lunch.
I measured myself with the tape before the doctor got in there because they never tell me where I am. It said 39 weeks. M said that means I have another week. I told him to never talk to me again. Then the doctor came in. She said I measured on time. I am 3-4 cm dilated and the baby is "way up there." So that's progress and I know I won't have to worry about going to the hospital and having them tell me I'm at a 1. That would suck.
I asked her about work and told her I stopped going on Friday. She said to just leave the disability forms at the front desk and they'll get them filled out for me. That's a great thing. Now I won't feel (semi)guilty about not working this week. And I can get another week out of my very crappy short term disability.
Then we started talking induction. I wanted to go as soon as possible. She said Tuesday. One of us is a doctor, so that person wins. I am currently waiting for a phone call from the nurse to get that scheduled.
Then for the fun! I got a Non Stress Test, which was awesome. I got to curl up in a huge comfy recliner and listen to the baby's heart beat for 20 minutes. M got to sit with me on a wooden chair. He had to pee, but he was afraid he'd miss something. So he just sat with me the whole time. I called my mom so she could hear the monitor and she liked it. The doctor took a look at the chart and pronounced us good. The heart beat was steady the whole time.
Next was an ultrasound to check the fluid. The baby looks SO different now. I couldn't tell what anything was, not even the head. We were on an old machine, so you can't really see much anyway, but she measured the fluid pockets and checked the position. Everything is perfect.
I guess I couldn't ask for anything more. We're both doing great, so there is no need to induce me now. That's a good thing (I keep telling myself). And with this much dilation... I could still go at any time (right?).
The emotional stuff: So, May 18th (Tuesday, induction day) is exactly one year since we found out our baby died. The worst day of my entire life. I could be leaving the hospital with a new baby one year after leaving with no baby. This is kind of hard for me to take. I told M I didn't really want the baby born on the 18th or 19th because those are bad days for me. But I also think that maybe it will be ok... I mean, it's like having a baby on Sept 11... it brings some good back into that day. Something positive.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Waiting
I'm happy to say that I'm not bored out of my mind. I am enjoying these days of relaxing and cleaning at a slow pace. This morning I am going to give the kitchen a good cleaning and do some vacuuming. Then the house will be as clean as it can get (except where I look down right now and see where M tracked leaves in from the grill last night... men!).
I had one "contraction" feeling thing this morning at 5:45. But still no other signs that anything is happening.
M and I feel like we're getting ready for a camping trip, but we don't know when we're leaving. We've stocked the house with non-perishable items and I'll make a trip to the store again today or tomorrow to get a few more things. We have enough meat in the freezer to last 3 weeks. Does it matter that we live 1/4 mile from the grocery store? That my mom will be here with us? That we have M's family 5 minutes away and amazing neighbors who would get us anything we need? It's a complete unknown out there. Our lives are going to explode with change this next week and we have no idea what to expect. I deal with it by cleaning. M deals with it by... um... not really doing anything different.
So here's to waiting and drinking all the raspberry herbal tea I can handle. At least all the sugar I put in it is keeping the baby busy!
I had one "contraction" feeling thing this morning at 5:45. But still no other signs that anything is happening.
M and I feel like we're getting ready for a camping trip, but we don't know when we're leaving. We've stocked the house with non-perishable items and I'll make a trip to the store again today or tomorrow to get a few more things. We have enough meat in the freezer to last 3 weeks. Does it matter that we live 1/4 mile from the grocery store? That my mom will be here with us? That we have M's family 5 minutes away and amazing neighbors who would get us anything we need? It's a complete unknown out there. Our lives are going to explode with change this next week and we have no idea what to expect. I deal with it by cleaning. M deals with it by... um... not really doing anything different.
So here's to waiting and drinking all the raspberry herbal tea I can handle. At least all the sugar I put in it is keeping the baby busy!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
39 week appointment
So why is it that the girl who weighs me always thinks I weigh less then 150 pounds when I get on the scale. I am 2 pounds lighter than my husband right now. I always have to tell them to bump it up another notch. No way is that 100 pound notch going to work.
I peed all over my hand this time. It is the worst I've ever done. The problem was that I'm so hot and sweaty that I didn't really notice. I got very little in the cup.
We had a long wait in the room today and we didn't have much to talk about. M doesn't have much to do at work (good thing!) and we haven't been doing anything really interesting. So I just sat there and sweated all over everything. Once the doctor had me lay back for the check, I had to stand up to peel the paper from my butt! M helped me get the little shreds off after she left. He thought this was the funniest thing ever.
The big news is... no change! Still 2 cm, still 80% effaced. We are to walk, drink raspberry herbal tea (I hate tea), and have lots of sex. If I make it to my appointment on Wednesday, we'll talk induction.
I peed all over my hand this time. It is the worst I've ever done. The problem was that I'm so hot and sweaty that I didn't really notice. I got very little in the cup.
We had a long wait in the room today and we didn't have much to talk about. M doesn't have much to do at work (good thing!) and we haven't been doing anything really interesting. So I just sat there and sweated all over everything. Once the doctor had me lay back for the check, I had to stand up to peel the paper from my butt! M helped me get the little shreds off after she left. He thought this was the funniest thing ever.
The big news is... no change! Still 2 cm, still 80% effaced. We are to walk, drink raspberry herbal tea (I hate tea), and have lots of sex. If I make it to my appointment on Wednesday, we'll talk induction.
39 Weeks
The Good: I have a lot of good this week. I’m more comfortable now than I was last week, which is weird. The baby changed positions – it had been facing my right side and seems to now be facing my back. So I’m balanced now, not carrying the baby all on my left side. Rolling over in bed is a LOT easier and I’m sleeping more than 2 hours at a time. I have 3 days (including today) left of work.
The Bad: I’m mad at everything. Time is crawling.
The Ugly: I cut myself shaving this morning. It’s not like I was using a real razor or anything, I was using a little trimmer, but I guess those things aren’t completely safe when you cannot see what you’re doing. Eh, oh well. It’s not like I did a good job anyway. And I know the doctor doesn’t care.
I walked 2 miles last night and then drank a big glass of pineapple juice. I was in a little bit of pain after the walk, but nothing that felt like it could be labor. It was more like “I’m going to head butt you in the privates for moving around so much!” pain.
I don’t get to walk tonight because M invited some neighbors over for dessert. They had us over for dinner several weeks ago and he feels that we have to reciprocate ASAP (or we never will). At least I talked him out of making dinner for them. We’re going to have ice cream cones on the deck. These are very nice people with a 7 month old. But I just want to sit on the couch and be cranky.
And thank you so much for all your supportive comments over the past week. I seem to jump all over the place in my moods and you guys understand. I love you for that.
The Bad: I’m mad at everything. Time is crawling.
The Ugly: I cut myself shaving this morning. It’s not like I was using a real razor or anything, I was using a little trimmer, but I guess those things aren’t completely safe when you cannot see what you’re doing. Eh, oh well. It’s not like I did a good job anyway. And I know the doctor doesn’t care.
I walked 2 miles last night and then drank a big glass of pineapple juice. I was in a little bit of pain after the walk, but nothing that felt like it could be labor. It was more like “I’m going to head butt you in the privates for moving around so much!” pain.
I don’t get to walk tonight because M invited some neighbors over for dessert. They had us over for dinner several weeks ago and he feels that we have to reciprocate ASAP (or we never will). At least I talked him out of making dinner for them. We’re going to have ice cream cones on the deck. These are very nice people with a 7 month old. But I just want to sit on the couch and be cranky.
And thank you so much for all your supportive comments over the past week. I seem to jump all over the place in my moods and you guys understand. I love you for that.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
One year ago
It's so weird to think back to myself a year ago. May 4, 2009 was the last time I saw my little boy alive on the ultrasound screen. It was such a great day. I remember calling our parents and squealing about how cute he was. We knew he'd here in November. We started telling everyone. I now know that he passed away a few days later, while we were still sharing the happy news.
I am not where I thought I would be now. I'm not sure how I'll feel as the actual anniversary arrives. I hope it turns out a lot like his due date, where I felt that he would want me to be happy with all the great news I was having. I hope that I'll feel at peace on May 18th and feel him looking down at us as a new little family of three. He won't be the one we'll be hugging and holding and loving, but he'll be in our hearts.
Of course, I still have a tiny voice telling me I'm not out of the woods yet. This baby still has to make it to the day it (finally) decides to be born. Then the delivery has to go well. And all the other unknowns have to line up. I'm afraid. But hopeful. And looking forward to something great.
I am not where I thought I would be now. I'm not sure how I'll feel as the actual anniversary arrives. I hope it turns out a lot like his due date, where I felt that he would want me to be happy with all the great news I was having. I hope that I'll feel at peace on May 18th and feel him looking down at us as a new little family of three. He won't be the one we'll be hugging and holding and loving, but he'll be in our hearts.
Of course, I still have a tiny voice telling me I'm not out of the woods yet. This baby still has to make it to the day it (finally) decides to be born. Then the delivery has to go well. And all the other unknowns have to line up. I'm afraid. But hopeful. And looking forward to something great.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Waiting
9 days until my due date.
I’m starting to believe I will be pregnant forever. This is where my complete lack of patience is starting to show. Every time I have any kind of little pain, I wonder if this is the beginning. It never is.
My plan for the weekend was to walk all over the place and do all kinds of labor inducing things. M would not participate in the ones he would be useful for… he said the baby isn’t ready yet and blah blah blah.
I have lots of little things from the weekend:
I met up with an old friend for dinner on Friday. I hadn’t seen him since 2006! We had Pho (Vietnamese soup made out of salt and beef and noodles). We were sitting around talking when I realized that my feet were exploding out of my shoes. Salty dinner plus hot day…. Oops!
We went to a sheep and wool festival on Saturday with the neighbors. It was a great time. I had Pit Lamb. Do you know how good Pit Beef is? Multiply that by 100. Wow. I did get to walk all afternoon and I wasn’t even that miserable! I had to wear normal shorts (I’m not about to go buy any more clothes!) and I had trouble getting them over my thighs. I did not see any pregnant sheep. Could you imagine being pregnant with something that has hooves???
Sunday was too hot to go outside, so no walking. Maybe tonight?
My bag is packed with a list of last-minute items sitting next to it. All of our windows are painted. My to-do list is still full of tiny things, but they are not anything that needs to be done before the baby comes.
Just waiting. Trying not to complain!
I’m starting to believe I will be pregnant forever. This is where my complete lack of patience is starting to show. Every time I have any kind of little pain, I wonder if this is the beginning. It never is.
My plan for the weekend was to walk all over the place and do all kinds of labor inducing things. M would not participate in the ones he would be useful for… he said the baby isn’t ready yet and blah blah blah.
I have lots of little things from the weekend:
I met up with an old friend for dinner on Friday. I hadn’t seen him since 2006! We had Pho (Vietnamese soup made out of salt and beef and noodles). We were sitting around talking when I realized that my feet were exploding out of my shoes. Salty dinner plus hot day…. Oops!
We went to a sheep and wool festival on Saturday with the neighbors. It was a great time. I had Pit Lamb. Do you know how good Pit Beef is? Multiply that by 100. Wow. I did get to walk all afternoon and I wasn’t even that miserable! I had to wear normal shorts (I’m not about to go buy any more clothes!) and I had trouble getting them over my thighs. I did not see any pregnant sheep. Could you imagine being pregnant with something that has hooves???
Sunday was too hot to go outside, so no walking. Maybe tonight?
My bag is packed with a list of last-minute items sitting next to it. All of our windows are painted. My to-do list is still full of tiny things, but they are not anything that needs to be done before the baby comes.
Just waiting. Trying not to complain!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
38 Week Appointment
Ugh, no change.
But I guess that's fine. I don't think I can get much more than 80% effaced.
The doctor couldn't tell how dilated I am because my cervix was moving around. What does that mean??? She didn't seem concerned, so I'm not either. I'm just happy that she didn't keep trying!!
I am negative for Group B Strep.
I wonder if anyone will notice if I take a nap now. It's not like I'm being productive with work!
But I guess that's fine. I don't think I can get much more than 80% effaced.
The doctor couldn't tell how dilated I am because my cervix was moving around. What does that mean??? She didn't seem concerned, so I'm not either. I'm just happy that she didn't keep trying!!
I am negative for Group B Strep.
I wonder if anyone will notice if I take a nap now. It's not like I'm being productive with work!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
38 Weeks
The good: A healthy moving baby. Nothing can be better than this!
The bad: I’m uncomfortable and sleepy all that stuff. But it’s not going to last forever.
The ugly: I’m getting afraid again. I spend so much time just being thankful for what I have. The May birth board is full of sad stories right now – it seems so many babies are suddenly not moving and the moms have to go to the doctor knowing what they will hear. Each one breaks my heart and can’t imagine just starting this journey now – and with a heavier heart. I’ve started avoiding the board because of the sad stories. I shouldn’t complain about any of my minor aches and pains. They don’t matter.
Tomorrow is my 38 week appointment. My MIL wants to go with me since M is in training. I don’t want her to go. I know she would love it, but I’ll be getting an internal check and sitting there with that paper towel that cannot cover me anymore. She said she could come and just sit in the waiting room… I don’t know. She stresses me out because she constantly voices her fears about things. I can’t be the one to calm her down when she is stressed out about MY labor. If the baby is having a good day tomorrow, I’ll be fine. If the baby is quiet all day, I’ll ask her to be there in the waiting room. She’s not really the person I would want by my side in case of bad news… but she’s better than being alone. She’s a great person, but I would feel the need to comfort HER – that’s too hard.
The bad: I’m uncomfortable and sleepy all that stuff. But it’s not going to last forever.
The ugly: I’m getting afraid again. I spend so much time just being thankful for what I have. The May birth board is full of sad stories right now – it seems so many babies are suddenly not moving and the moms have to go to the doctor knowing what they will hear. Each one breaks my heart and can’t imagine just starting this journey now – and with a heavier heart. I’ve started avoiding the board because of the sad stories. I shouldn’t complain about any of my minor aches and pains. They don’t matter.
Tomorrow is my 38 week appointment. My MIL wants to go with me since M is in training. I don’t want her to go. I know she would love it, but I’ll be getting an internal check and sitting there with that paper towel that cannot cover me anymore. She said she could come and just sit in the waiting room… I don’t know. She stresses me out because she constantly voices her fears about things. I can’t be the one to calm her down when she is stressed out about MY labor. If the baby is having a good day tomorrow, I’ll be fine. If the baby is quiet all day, I’ll ask her to be there in the waiting room. She’s not really the person I would want by my side in case of bad news… but she’s better than being alone. She’s a great person, but I would feel the need to comfort HER – that’s too hard.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Nursery Pictures
Here are a few pictures of our little nursery. It is a tiny room in the front of the house.
Another view of the room with the new bookshelf and the glider. It all just barely fits!
The cute crib and the froggie pictures. I kept a calendar from 2007 to use in the baby's room. I think it looks so good!
My changing table. Am I actually looking forward to changing diapers???
Another view of the room with the new bookshelf and the glider. It all just barely fits!
Childbirth Class 4
I graduated from childbirth class! Hooray!
I don’t have much to say about the last class. We had a pediatrician come in to talk for a little while. She was nice and talked about the normal stuff. I didn’t agree with everything she said, but I liked hearing her opinion on things. My mom was with me (she’s a nurse) and she asked a few questions. She already knew the answers to the questions, but she’s also an educator… so she asked for everyone else.
Then we went on the tour, which I did with M a few weeks ago. Nothing new there. I cried when I saw a baby. My mom liked seeing everything and knowing where she had to go.
We finished the nursery on Sunday (pictures soon!) and installed the car seat. I sterilized all the breast feeding equipment. I love it! My house looks like we could have a baby in it soon!
M is away this week for his training and I’m holding the baby in. I’m emotional about not seeing him and feeling good about the baby not coming during this week. We’re almost halfway through! He’s stressed that I’m going to call him in the middle of the day and he’ll miss the birth. I told him not to worry. This trip is so strange. His old job had a lot of travel, but it was usually half-way around the world. I couldn’t talk to him for long, but we could email because he had a blackberry. This time, he’s still in the same time zone (and really close – I used to have a longer daily commute!). We talk a few times a day. Four nights isn’t really that long. Just two to go!
I don’t have much to say about the last class. We had a pediatrician come in to talk for a little while. She was nice and talked about the normal stuff. I didn’t agree with everything she said, but I liked hearing her opinion on things. My mom was with me (she’s a nurse) and she asked a few questions. She already knew the answers to the questions, but she’s also an educator… so she asked for everyone else.
Then we went on the tour, which I did with M a few weeks ago. Nothing new there. I cried when I saw a baby. My mom liked seeing everything and knowing where she had to go.
We finished the nursery on Sunday (pictures soon!) and installed the car seat. I sterilized all the breast feeding equipment. I love it! My house looks like we could have a baby in it soon!
M is away this week for his training and I’m holding the baby in. I’m emotional about not seeing him and feeling good about the baby not coming during this week. We’re almost halfway through! He’s stressed that I’m going to call him in the middle of the day and he’ll miss the birth. I told him not to worry. This trip is so strange. His old job had a lot of travel, but it was usually half-way around the world. I couldn’t talk to him for long, but we could email because he had a blackberry. This time, he’s still in the same time zone (and really close – I used to have a longer daily commute!). We talk a few times a day. Four nights isn’t really that long. Just two to go!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
37 Week appointment and internal check
I’m progressing! Hooray!
1-2 centimeters dilated! 80% effaced! Baby has definitely dropped!
Ok, so here is my experience with the Group B strep and the internal check. I was so afraid that these things were going to be painful and terrible. I was sweating like crazy. I told M that this was going to be bad.
The Group B test was about 2 seconds. She stuck the swab up there and then just barely skimmed the outside of my butt. Nothing went up that one. I actually laughed a little and told her that was nothing like I was prepared for. Whew! Do not be afraid of the Group B test!
The internal check was a little more involved. She said the baby’s head was in the way so she had trouble reaching my cervix. It was less uncomfortable than a pap smear. So I don’t want one every day, but also it is no reason to panic.
1-2 centimeters dilated! 80% effaced! Baby has definitely dropped!
Ok, so here is my experience with the Group B strep and the internal check. I was so afraid that these things were going to be painful and terrible. I was sweating like crazy. I told M that this was going to be bad.
The Group B test was about 2 seconds. She stuck the swab up there and then just barely skimmed the outside of my butt. Nothing went up that one. I actually laughed a little and told her that was nothing like I was prepared for. Whew! Do not be afraid of the Group B test!
The internal check was a little more involved. She said the baby’s head was in the way so she had trouble reaching my cervix. It was less uncomfortable than a pap smear. So I don’t want one every day, but also it is no reason to panic.
37 Weeks
The good: The kid is doing great. Lots of movement! I feel like my stomach is one of those massage chairs. If you have any back pain, just lean against my right side and a foot will give you a deep tissue massage.
The bad: I don’t like riding in cars now. Anything more than 15 minutes is terrible. Bumpy roads make me want to cry. The baby HATES seatbelts, so I kind of hold the lab belt out from the bottom of my belly the whole time.
The ugly: I’m angry a lot. I’m still happy, but my fuse is shorter than normal and I’m more likely to say the mean sarcastic comments that I’m thinking. Sorry about that, everyone I know (sort of).
Today is my 37 week appointment. I’ll get my first internal check and the Group B strep test. I’m not excited about either of those, but I do want to know if we have any progress. I’m hoping for something. M hopes the baby will be late.
My MIL called M last night while we were at Ikea (hooray!). She called our house at 7 pm, M’s cell at 8, and again at 9. By the time he answered the last call, she was FREAKING OUT. She thought I was in labor and we hadn’t called them. This makes me want to not call them when I go into labor.
The bad: I don’t like riding in cars now. Anything more than 15 minutes is terrible. Bumpy roads make me want to cry. The baby HATES seatbelts, so I kind of hold the lab belt out from the bottom of my belly the whole time.
The ugly: I’m angry a lot. I’m still happy, but my fuse is shorter than normal and I’m more likely to say the mean sarcastic comments that I’m thinking. Sorry about that, everyone I know (sort of).
Today is my 37 week appointment. I’ll get my first internal check and the Group B strep test. I’m not excited about either of those, but I do want to know if we have any progress. I’m hoping for something. M hopes the baby will be late.
My MIL called M last night while we were at Ikea (hooray!). She called our house at 7 pm, M’s cell at 8, and again at 9. By the time he answered the last call, she was FREAKING OUT. She thought I was in labor and we hadn’t called them. This makes me want to not call them when I go into labor.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Childbirth Class 3
Last night’s childbirth class was much calmer than the one we had last week. We just sat in the chairs and listened and watched videos. We learned all about epidurals and c-sections and all the other gory things.
We watched a video that showed a birth with narcotic medication, a birth with an epidural and a c-section. They were not gory or graphic (thank goodness). I cried every time the baby came out. I might have thrown up a little in my mouth when I got to watch a model of a c-section. But anyway, I was kind of embarrassed about my crying. M did not cry. I am going to be a mess when this baby gets here. Those little slimy, wrinkly babies! I’m crying a little now!
In other news, I had a good night of sleep last night. I think my exhaustion finally caught up with me. I’ve given up on my alarm clock and just get up close to when I am supposed to. I’d rather get 30 minutes of sleep than be on time for work. I’m so lucky that I don’t have set hours that I need to be at work. Whew!
We watched a video that showed a birth with narcotic medication, a birth with an epidural and a c-section. They were not gory or graphic (thank goodness). I cried every time the baby came out. I might have thrown up a little in my mouth when I got to watch a model of a c-section. But anyway, I was kind of embarrassed about my crying. M did not cry. I am going to be a mess when this baby gets here. Those little slimy, wrinkly babies! I’m crying a little now!
In other news, I had a good night of sleep last night. I think my exhaustion finally caught up with me. I’ve given up on my alarm clock and just get up close to when I am supposed to. I’d rather get 30 minutes of sleep than be on time for work. I’m so lucky that I don’t have set hours that I need to be at work. Whew!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Middle of the night ranting
This might not make sense. I apologize in advance. It's 1:27 am and I am wide awake. I'm so tired that I'm almost in tears. I'm freezing cold and my back is sweaty. I want to sleep for days, but I just can't.
I think my time is almost up. My MIL told me yesterday that the baby dropped. Who knows if she's right. I can breathe better and the baby's movements are lower than before.
I can't stop thinking about what I need to do. My list for stuff at home really isn't that long and isn't anything to stress over. I need to pack my bag and sterilize my pumping stuff. That is all I feel that I NEED to do before the baby gets here. I'd like to have the interior windows all painted, but that's not on MY to-do list anyway. My work list is crazy long, but all I really need to do is sit down with the people taking over the projects and give them an update. Then I can leave work with a clear conscience.
I have spent 5 of the last 6 days with my inlaws. Do I really need to say anything else about that? They are amazing people and did SO much work. We have 17 windows and doors in our house that needed the interior trim finished (wood filler, caulking, some drywall work, priming and painting). 14 of those are finished because my inlaws were helping M. Two of the last three are in the basement. Ideally, they'd all be done before the baby arrives, but the main work is complete and what's left can be done without disturbing an infant.
I just wish I could sleep.
I think my time is almost up. My MIL told me yesterday that the baby dropped. Who knows if she's right. I can breathe better and the baby's movements are lower than before.
I can't stop thinking about what I need to do. My list for stuff at home really isn't that long and isn't anything to stress over. I need to pack my bag and sterilize my pumping stuff. That is all I feel that I NEED to do before the baby gets here. I'd like to have the interior windows all painted, but that's not on MY to-do list anyway. My work list is crazy long, but all I really need to do is sit down with the people taking over the projects and give them an update. Then I can leave work with a clear conscience.
I have spent 5 of the last 6 days with my inlaws. Do I really need to say anything else about that? They are amazing people and did SO much work. We have 17 windows and doors in our house that needed the interior trim finished (wood filler, caulking, some drywall work, priming and painting). 14 of those are finished because my inlaws were helping M. Two of the last three are in the basement. Ideally, they'd all be done before the baby arrives, but the main work is complete and what's left can be done without disturbing an infant.
I just wish I could sleep.
Friday, April 16, 2010
We will prevail
Today is another remembering day for me (and lots of others). April 16, 2007 is high on the list of the saddest days in my life. I’m thinking of all those families missing their children or their parents. I remember feeling so shaken, that something like this could happen at a place that I hold so close to my heart. The Virginia Tech campus has always been a safe place for me, like home, where you just feel free to breathe. Could one person take that away from all of us? I don’t think he did. We’ve been to Blacksburg twice since the shootings. The first time was hard – we walked through the memorial and wondered how engineering students spent their days now that Norris Hall doesn’t have classes anymore. I have so many memories (not all good) of that building – classes and tests and stress and friends. I got asked out on a date in there. You know how when you read a book and you picture the setting, and that setting is usually a place you are familiar with? When I read a book that has a classroom scene, it is always a classroom in Norris Hall. You can’t even look at that building, in the center of campus, without remembering.
I guess you never really lose the fear that something will happen to your child. I was afraid last night when the baby wouldn’t wake up for M when he finally had a minute to relax. I was fairly sure all was well – I’d just felt hiccups 10 minutes before. I’ll always be nervous when this baby is out of my sight. I’ll have to trust that s/he will grow up with a strong sense of right and wrong, but what about other people? I can’t always be there…
So all you Hokies out there … Let’s Go! Hokies!
Who ever thought that a football cheer would stir up so many emotions?
I guess you never really lose the fear that something will happen to your child. I was afraid last night when the baby wouldn’t wake up for M when he finally had a minute to relax. I was fairly sure all was well – I’d just felt hiccups 10 minutes before. I’ll always be nervous when this baby is out of my sight. I’ll have to trust that s/he will grow up with a strong sense of right and wrong, but what about other people? I can’t always be there…
So all you Hokies out there … Let’s Go! Hokies!
Who ever thought that a football cheer would stir up so many emotions?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Belly Pics
So I promised to put up some pictures. I think if I didn't have this blog, I would never take pictures. So thanks for that.
We'll do side by side.
34 weeks is in blue pants, which make my butt look ginormous. Black pants ( at 36 weeks) truely are slimming!
We'll do side by side.
34 weeks is in blue pants, which make my butt look ginormous. Black pants ( at 36 weeks) truely are slimming!
Next, we can take a look from the front. It looks like no change from this view.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
36 Weeks
Ok, I was supposed to have everything ready by today. I am a little bit behind and I am placing all the blame on home renovation projects. The nursery is set up again, but it’s not finished and cute yet. I’m not sure how to convince M that getting a bookshelf is more important than painting the interior trim in the living room… I guess I’ll have to wait on that one.
The good: Baby dreams. I have dreams a few nights a week that I have a normal, healthy newborn. This is totally crazy for me. Up until now, most of my dreams have been wacko children that are full grown or talk to me in a deep voice or whatever. I am also craving jell-o. I made a huge batch and I just leave the spoon sitting in the bowl in the fridge. It satisfies my hunger and thirst in one! It is refreshing! It is green!
The bad: The usual. Hips hurting and bad sleeping. I’m huge. I will be taking a belly picture tonight and I will do my best to actually post it.
The ugly: I think this baby wants to be born through the top of my uterus, or possibly the side. The baby is constantly pushing out. I think it is stretching and it is painful! Today isn’t so bad, but yesterday made me feel like I was getting beat up. I’m pretty sure my birth experience is going to be less like the books and more like the movies.
My new favorite blog. I hate that she stopped posting a few years ago.
The good: Baby dreams. I have dreams a few nights a week that I have a normal, healthy newborn. This is totally crazy for me. Up until now, most of my dreams have been wacko children that are full grown or talk to me in a deep voice or whatever. I am also craving jell-o. I made a huge batch and I just leave the spoon sitting in the bowl in the fridge. It satisfies my hunger and thirst in one! It is refreshing! It is green!
The bad: The usual. Hips hurting and bad sleeping. I’m huge. I will be taking a belly picture tonight and I will do my best to actually post it.
The ugly: I think this baby wants to be born through the top of my uterus, or possibly the side. The baby is constantly pushing out. I think it is stretching and it is painful! Today isn’t so bad, but yesterday made me feel like I was getting beat up. I’m pretty sure my birth experience is going to be less like the books and more like the movies.
My new favorite blog. I hate that she stopped posting a few years ago.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Childbirth Class 2
Well, we simulated labor for an hour last night. It wasn’t a bad labor, we had to put our finger in ice for the duration of each contraction and the guys had to keep track of time and rub our backs. I don’t know if we really learned anything new last night. She reviewed everything from last week. It was good for M, he likes to know what job he needs to do. He didn’t complain when we left last night. I don’t think it really prepared me for labor – when my finger went numb, I decided that the drugs were working. We do know what to do now. I’m ready to be in labor. I’m weirdly looking forward to it.
Monday, April 12, 2010
L&D Tour
M and I must be pretty special. We had a private tour of Labor and Delivery at our hospital on Saturday. The day was insane. We had painters at our house at 7:30, M had a MBA seminar in the morning, our house was torn apart for the window stuff and we had the tour scheduled for 2:30. I was already exhausted from cleaning when we got there, but I was so excited.
The woman giving the tour (Sergeant J) is the same woman who is leading our childbirth class (aka boot camp). We were the only people signed up for the afternoon tour, which was kind of nice. Except that M didn’t really like the personalized service. She started every sentence with M! This is where you will be walking when you arrive! M! Do not attempt to take any other elevators! M! Floor 3! I thought it was funny.
Highlights:
We now know where to park and what door we need to go through. M was worried about after hours, but now we know.
The walk to the elevators is longer than the walk from the parking lot to the front door. I think they do this to help with labor.
The entire hospital smells like Subway
The NICU starts renovation at the end of this month. This means I need some extra prayers that Baby will be fine.
Standard practice is to give me the baby immediately after birth, skin to skin, and to try breastfeeding. I am so happy to know this.
I will get a special lactose-free menu.
I will probably request that they completely remove the huge-ass mirror on wheels from the room. I don’t even want to look at my funky nipples right now. There is NO WAY I want to see myself split in half. I’ll wait a few extra minutes to see the baby.
When we were leaving, the nurses said, “See you soon!” and I almost cried. I cannot wait.
So, in other news, my house has all new windows and all new, freshly painted exterior trim. It looks amazing. I am so proud of our little house. Of course, with the fresh paint, parts of the outside look shabby and now we are going to get the house pressure washed, but that’s a small thing. I am so happy this is done! However – the inside is still insane. We did have the interior trim put back in, but the finish work is pretty expensive and we already burst the budget with everything else. M is caulking and painting all the interior trim by himself. I’m so lucky to be married to a man who can fix anything. The nursery window is already done! He did a great job. I spent all weekend cleaning up the construction mess. I pretended I was nesting, but washing sawdust from the bottom of the toilet doesn’t really strike me as “preparing for baby.” This week I will scrub the nursery from top to bottom and then I FINALLY get to set up the room. I will be in heaven!
Today is April 12th. I am supposed to have a baby in one month.
The woman giving the tour (Sergeant J) is the same woman who is leading our childbirth class (aka boot camp). We were the only people signed up for the afternoon tour, which was kind of nice. Except that M didn’t really like the personalized service. She started every sentence with M! This is where you will be walking when you arrive! M! Do not attempt to take any other elevators! M! Floor 3! I thought it was funny.
Highlights:
We now know where to park and what door we need to go through. M was worried about after hours, but now we know.
The walk to the elevators is longer than the walk from the parking lot to the front door. I think they do this to help with labor.
The entire hospital smells like Subway
The NICU starts renovation at the end of this month. This means I need some extra prayers that Baby will be fine.
Standard practice is to give me the baby immediately after birth, skin to skin, and to try breastfeeding. I am so happy to know this.
I will get a special lactose-free menu.
I will probably request that they completely remove the huge-ass mirror on wheels from the room. I don’t even want to look at my funky nipples right now. There is NO WAY I want to see myself split in half. I’ll wait a few extra minutes to see the baby.
When we were leaving, the nurses said, “See you soon!” and I almost cried. I cannot wait.
So, in other news, my house has all new windows and all new, freshly painted exterior trim. It looks amazing. I am so proud of our little house. Of course, with the fresh paint, parts of the outside look shabby and now we are going to get the house pressure washed, but that’s a small thing. I am so happy this is done! However – the inside is still insane. We did have the interior trim put back in, but the finish work is pretty expensive and we already burst the budget with everything else. M is caulking and painting all the interior trim by himself. I’m so lucky to be married to a man who can fix anything. The nursery window is already done! He did a great job. I spent all weekend cleaning up the construction mess. I pretended I was nesting, but washing sawdust from the bottom of the toilet doesn’t really strike me as “preparing for baby.” This week I will scrub the nursery from top to bottom and then I FINALLY get to set up the room. I will be in heaven!
Today is April 12th. I am supposed to have a baby in one month.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
35 Weeks
The Good: I may be complaining about being awake all the time, but I don’t mind it when this little booger is awake, too. My hiccup-y baby is so cute. I feel so bad for this little thing jumping all over the place a few times a day. I don’t think s/he likes the hiccups very much. I spend the time rubbing the mass that I assume is a baby back and try to soothe it, but I might just be making it worse.
The Bad: I’m sweating all the time. Like SWEATING. My coworkers are wearing jackets. I had to go buy new shoes so I would have some sandals that don’t have high heels. That has helped, but the bottom of my feet are going to stink by the end of today. My hands and feet are getting a little puffy today. My rings went on fine, but I think I’m going to need some cold water to get them off tonight. It’s not sausage-y yet. I’ll keep an eye on this.
The Ugly: Still not sleeping. I’m so tired, so I go to bed early. All that does is mean I wake up before 4:30 in the morning. Either I’m crazy uncomfortable or too hot or my hip hurts or the baby is having a dance party. The dance party is fine, but all the rest make me nuts. I know this is only temporary… only a few more weeks and I’ll be not sleeping for a much better reason.
If you say something in the comments about this sleep “preparing me” for the baby, I’m going to reach through the screen and throw sand in your eyes.
The Bad: I’m sweating all the time. Like SWEATING. My coworkers are wearing jackets. I had to go buy new shoes so I would have some sandals that don’t have high heels. That has helped, but the bottom of my feet are going to stink by the end of today. My hands and feet are getting a little puffy today. My rings went on fine, but I think I’m going to need some cold water to get them off tonight. It’s not sausage-y yet. I’ll keep an eye on this.
The Ugly: Still not sleeping. I’m so tired, so I go to bed early. All that does is mean I wake up before 4:30 in the morning. Either I’m crazy uncomfortable or too hot or my hip hurts or the baby is having a dance party. The dance party is fine, but all the rest make me nuts. I know this is only temporary… only a few more weeks and I’ll be not sleeping for a much better reason.
If you say something in the comments about this sleep “preparing me” for the baby, I’m going to reach through the screen and throw sand in your eyes.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
34 Week Appointment
This appointment was quick, so I don’t have much to say today. I’ve been crazy busy at work… so that’s why I’m not commenting as often, but I am reading and supporting and thinking about you guys.
The doctor came in and measured me… 34 weeks, which is technically ok. This is the first time a doctor has something other than “right on time” so I guess it’s fine. The baby’s heart rate is still in the 130s. She told me to stop the baby aspirin at 36 weeks. I hate that idea. I don’t want to stop the baby aspirin! I’ve banked this entire pregnancy on this tiny pill and I’m afraid to stop. But I will because I always follow the rules.
My only question today was about the process when I go into labor (the lady at class last night told us to ask). The doctor gave me the last month information sheet so I could read ahead. I liked that.
The next appointment will be at 37 weeks exactly. I’ll have my Group B strep test, my first internal check and we’ll have a conversation about labor with my labor coach (or, as I like to call him, my husband). Sounds exciting!
Laura, my to-do list at the beginning of this pregnancy was insane. I got a list of classes from the hospital and I think I signed up for every single one. M grumbles about them all, but I love them! It makes me feel like I’m doing something. I got excited today when I scheduled the extra L&D tour since he won’t be able to make the last class. I can't wait to hear about your experiences!!!
The doctor came in and measured me… 34 weeks, which is technically ok. This is the first time a doctor has something other than “right on time” so I guess it’s fine. The baby’s heart rate is still in the 130s. She told me to stop the baby aspirin at 36 weeks. I hate that idea. I don’t want to stop the baby aspirin! I’ve banked this entire pregnancy on this tiny pill and I’m afraid to stop. But I will because I always follow the rules.
My only question today was about the process when I go into labor (the lady at class last night told us to ask). The doctor gave me the last month information sheet so I could read ahead. I liked that.
The next appointment will be at 37 weeks exactly. I’ll have my Group B strep test, my first internal check and we’ll have a conversation about labor with my labor coach (or, as I like to call him, my husband). Sounds exciting!
Laura, my to-do list at the beginning of this pregnancy was insane. I got a list of classes from the hospital and I think I signed up for every single one. M grumbles about them all, but I love them! It makes me feel like I’m doing something. I got excited today when I scheduled the extra L&D tour since he won’t be able to make the last class. I can't wait to hear about your experiences!!!
Childbirth Class 1
We started learning how to give birth last night. M thinks this is ridiculous. I think it is necessary. So I win and we’re going every Monday in April to the community room in the hospital.
The class last night was a little intense. The instructor is a small woman with an intimidating personality and sometimes it felt like we were in trouble. Like she was lecturing us. “Gentlemen! You must get her to change positions!” M was a little afraid. We were expecting something a little more soothing. Oh well. You get what you get.
Things we learned:
The hospital tour (the thing we want most) isn’t until the last class. M is going to miss this class because of training. We’re going to schedule a separate tour.
You are supposed to pee every hour during labor to reduce pain.
TACO if your water breaks (Time, Amount, Colorless, Odorless).
Only 10% of women start labor with their water breaking (or 75% of my friends).
You can use a rolling pin as a back massager.
I am the furthest along in the class.
M is in charge of keeping track of the contractions, making sure I am comfortable and making me change positions.
So last night was laboring at home. Next week is labor in the hospital. Week 3 is medical interventions (C-sections, epidurals… all that). The last week is a pediatrician and the tour.
In our regular life:
M’s training (the last week of April) is for a new job! I am so happy for him. The timing is a little tricky. I’ll be in my 37th week, so labor could start while he is away. But it might not. And he’ll only be in DC, so a little over an hour away if things get going at non-rush hour times. If it starts between 6 and 10 am or 2 and 7 pm, I’ll probably have to wait a few hours for him to get to me. That’s going to have to be ok. And, no, I won’t call my MIL to come labor with me. Our neighbors have already agreed to come over and sit with me if needed. My mom is going to come down to attend the last class with me.
And, since we don’t want to make these last few weeks of pregnancy easy, we are also getting our windows and all exterior trim on our house replaced right now. M called me and said 6 windows on our front bump-out are already gone. I really can’t wait for this to be done. We can’t open most of our windows because they were painted shut or had no screens. And I couldn’t see out of the back windows because the seals were all broken. This is going to be so nice!
The class last night was a little intense. The instructor is a small woman with an intimidating personality and sometimes it felt like we were in trouble. Like she was lecturing us. “Gentlemen! You must get her to change positions!” M was a little afraid. We were expecting something a little more soothing. Oh well. You get what you get.
Things we learned:
The hospital tour (the thing we want most) isn’t until the last class. M is going to miss this class because of training. We’re going to schedule a separate tour.
You are supposed to pee every hour during labor to reduce pain.
TACO if your water breaks (Time, Amount, Colorless, Odorless).
Only 10% of women start labor with their water breaking (or 75% of my friends).
You can use a rolling pin as a back massager.
I am the furthest along in the class.
M is in charge of keeping track of the contractions, making sure I am comfortable and making me change positions.
So last night was laboring at home. Next week is labor in the hospital. Week 3 is medical interventions (C-sections, epidurals… all that). The last week is a pediatrician and the tour.
In our regular life:
M’s training (the last week of April) is for a new job! I am so happy for him. The timing is a little tricky. I’ll be in my 37th week, so labor could start while he is away. But it might not. And he’ll only be in DC, so a little over an hour away if things get going at non-rush hour times. If it starts between 6 and 10 am or 2 and 7 pm, I’ll probably have to wait a few hours for him to get to me. That’s going to have to be ok. And, no, I won’t call my MIL to come labor with me. Our neighbors have already agreed to come over and sit with me if needed. My mom is going to come down to attend the last class with me.
And, since we don’t want to make these last few weeks of pregnancy easy, we are also getting our windows and all exterior trim on our house replaced right now. M called me and said 6 windows on our front bump-out are already gone. I really can’t wait for this to be done. We can’t open most of our windows because they were painted shut or had no screens. And I couldn’t see out of the back windows because the seals were all broken. This is going to be so nice!
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